Hammer

Quite fetching, indeed.

I am thinking a Light Blue and White Gingham on the dress, no make-up/war-paint, and we are there.

Mrs. Doubtfire, was of course a man cross-dressing and faking as a woman, and I would hope most of the folks here have had (more than) enough fake, fraud and lies.

dandylion

Hammer---agreed!! Gingham is a favorite of mine....just gingham and a natural beauty

dandylion

lillamy

Outonalimb, I can tell you that my sweetheart has had to be incredibly patient. It helps that we've known each other forever (our friendship predates my meeting AXH and he's one of the few friends AXH didn't manage to scare away completely). He knew the me I was before I became who I was in my marriage. He can see the scars and knows what's behind them. He also has an emotionally abusive marriage behind him and knows first-hand what it does to a person.

And yet - it's not been easy. But we have a policy if no bullsh^t, no masks, no pretending, no mind games. It's hard to be honest when honesty has been used against you in the past. It's hard to trust when trusting got you hurt. It's hard to dare to love someone after the person you loved became your worst nightmare.

It's hard but it's not impossible. And I think learning to be something like normal again takes time. But it's worth it.

4MyBoys

Outonalimb,

You have to have hope. I do. I have an expectation of meeting a lovely man who I can be silly with but still be hot and heavy with. Am I terrified of putting myself out there? Heck yeah! I'm currently not ready. But I know that I am just a normie who was put in an very abnormal situation. I was turned into a codie in order to survive. I did my best with it.

You will do great too! The fact you are on this board and asking these questions tells me you are trying to live you life with your eyes wide open. You only have one chance to live, once life to try to be happy. Look at it as a chance to have fun, and be happy. You don't have to be looking for a long term relationship, let alone a new husband.

Go have fun!

4MyBoys

dandylion

Yeah, 4myboys, I think it is those who don't even know to ask questions who really get blindsided.

dandylion

Hammer

jmho -- Taking care of yourself + no makeup = soooooo hawt.

choublak

Um, the Mennonite my uncle dated had a nose ring.

wicked

Looks, as they say, are deceiving.


Interesting thought there, I do not "look" like a sarcastic, recovering alcoholic Army veteran, but I am.

One time (when I was still drinking ) I ordered a beer with lunch.
(just the first one, of a few)
The waitress looked at me curiously, and said,
"Funny, you don't look like the type who drinks beer."
Really?

LOL

No, I don't look like it, but I carry that gas can, and for a while, my own lighter.

:rotfxko

Hammer

Yeah. So does Mrs. Hammer.

But I did get Lefty freed, and still on parole. Nursing was good that way.

Tuffgirl

Yes ^^^^^ this ^^^^^ is so true.

It is a gamble. And its living. So you get burned sometimes. Ok, accept the sting of that burn, let it heal, and move on; it won't kill you, ya know?!! If we all hid from the potential of getting hurt, what a lousy bunch of cowardly people we would be, right?

None of us are permanently and unequivocally broken. We all came here for fixin' and we all work at it every day. That's also living.

I may not like it when dates/relationships fail, but it won't stop me from continuing to try. And each bad experience is a learning lesson anyway - another example of what I don't want. One day - when the time is right and my frame of mind is also in the right place - I will meet a wonderful man who will have the things I do want. Until then - its an adventure that gives me lots of funny stories to share!

Hammer

Of course it was not a "beer" look.

Most Army Chicks sort of have the "vibe" -- yunno -- says . . . . Hard Liquor is Quicker.

Must be love.

wicked

There in lies my idiotic alcoholic thinking!
While those babes were passed out or puking, I was just warming up!
Genius!
All competition was wiped out, and there I was, with my gas can and lighter.
<shaking my head>

Yep, but only for a few hours, gas burns up mighty quick.
And then my head hurt.

Now, I get feelings and all that. Geeze.

Still some Army chick here, got my first tattoo two years ago.
Generations of Army here, and alcoholism.

Thanks to the one day at a time program it will be seventeen years in August.
To those who might have a hard time with my sense of humor,
I have some distance on that sad woman who drank to get what she wanted.
Or to not feel at all. And go with impulses.
Great plan for two drunks I tell ya.
<smiling again>

Sparks get my attention still. But, I have a new program now.
Al Anon. To keep me away from those bad impulsive decisions.
Or come here and ask.
I will get it (the truth) for sure.


Thank you especially outonalimb,

You have been so open and forthright, it gives me strength.

Beth