The rock bottom of the rock bottom
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 69
The rock bottom of the rock bottom
It's been probably two years or so since I have posted here, but I thought I would share what has recently happened to my EXABF.
Quick synopsis of my relationship with him, which started over three years ago: We were coworkers and developed an interest in each other. He was 1 year and 9 months sober at the time (after going through a year-long rehab program). He relapsed a few months later, just a week shy of his two year sober anniversary (alcohol and opiates), and never got back into recovery. Our relationship ended several months after that, and I had never been more devastated in my life. I truly loved him.
We had a very bad falling out about two years ago over his substance abuse, and never really patched things up even as friends.
On March 17th of this year, he got behind the wheel of his car while intoxicated (blood alcohol level of .17 by the time they tested him), went the wrong way on a one-way street and smashed into a car with an elderly couple in it. The couple died and my EXABF ended up in the hospital with two brain injuries, two broken legs, a broken arm and other injuries. He was put into a medically induced coma for over three weeks.
Through all this, he had the nerve to request that I not visit him. The ******* killed two people and yet had the gall to stick his nose up at me.
May 30 (yesterday), he was released from the hospital, formally charged with two counts of second-degree murder (among other charges), and taken to jail. I saw a video of him online during his court proceeding yesterday and he looks awful.
Before all this happened, I had visions/dreams of him hurting himself and and ending up in the hospital, but for whatever reason it never really occurred to me that he would take the lives of two innocent people. Part of me wishes I had tried to do more when I knew he had problems, but part of me knows there was nothing really that I could have done.
This is truly the bottom of rock bottom for him.
Quick synopsis of my relationship with him, which started over three years ago: We were coworkers and developed an interest in each other. He was 1 year and 9 months sober at the time (after going through a year-long rehab program). He relapsed a few months later, just a week shy of his two year sober anniversary (alcohol and opiates), and never got back into recovery. Our relationship ended several months after that, and I had never been more devastated in my life. I truly loved him.
We had a very bad falling out about two years ago over his substance abuse, and never really patched things up even as friends.
On March 17th of this year, he got behind the wheel of his car while intoxicated (blood alcohol level of .17 by the time they tested him), went the wrong way on a one-way street and smashed into a car with an elderly couple in it. The couple died and my EXABF ended up in the hospital with two brain injuries, two broken legs, a broken arm and other injuries. He was put into a medically induced coma for over three weeks.
Through all this, he had the nerve to request that I not visit him. The ******* killed two people and yet had the gall to stick his nose up at me.
May 30 (yesterday), he was released from the hospital, formally charged with two counts of second-degree murder (among other charges), and taken to jail. I saw a video of him online during his court proceeding yesterday and he looks awful.
Before all this happened, I had visions/dreams of him hurting himself and and ending up in the hospital, but for whatever reason it never really occurred to me that he would take the lives of two innocent people. Part of me wishes I had tried to do more when I knew he had problems, but part of me knows there was nothing really that I could have done.
This is truly the bottom of rock bottom for him.
My emotional baggage
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Northern CA
Posts: 285
OshKosh,
Sorry that is horrifying....His snub of you, may have been the dodging of reality. Can you imagine waking up in the hospital and now being sober and finding out you killed people. He is most likely mortified emotionally and spiritually. Seeing you would make him face reality.
Just be glad his reality is now not a part of yours........
4MyBoys
Sorry that is horrifying....His snub of you, may have been the dodging of reality. Can you imagine waking up in the hospital and now being sober and finding out you killed people. He is most likely mortified emotionally and spiritually. Seeing you would make him face reality.
Just be glad his reality is now not a part of yours........
4MyBoys
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Midwest USA
Posts: 2,284
[QUOTE=AnvilheadII;3992971]agree with Suki, NO way to know if this is HIS rock bottom. you'd be amazed at the lengths people go to. how very sad for the elderly couple's family and loved ones.
I just read a few months ago a man was arrested for DUI. The catch was that he was still on parole and was released a year earlier from prison for killing someone driving drunk! He had been in prison for 9 years.
I just read a few months ago a man was arrested for DUI. The catch was that he was still on parole and was released a year earlier from prison for killing someone driving drunk! He had been in prison for 9 years.
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Bristol, UK
Posts: 33
What a sad sad story, my prayer go out for all concerned and especially the family of the elderly couple! I agree with everyone.... not his rock bottom.... oh no not yet!! The man that snubbed you is not the man you fell in love with you... that is the demon addict, the demon drink! What a bitter blow to get to almost two years and then relapse, it is a timely reminder to us all that we are NEVER safe.
None of this was your fault, but you clearly loved the man... and have never really got over the split! I need to remind you of what I am sure a lot of people have told you that you could not stop him in his addiction, loved ones almost never can. my wife tried so hard to help me and just became the enemy in my addicted eyes, so she left. You did nothing wrong in fact by leaving you probably saved your life. Don't be tempted to go back to him, to help him. You are not turning your back on him, on the contrary you are helping him. He is looking for someone to blame for all this and in his warped and twisted mind it is you. Leave him to the professionals now, they will do their best to sort him out!
And you deserve better. There are loads of men out there who would love to meet someone like you and who would give you the life and the love you deserve. Believe me there is a really fantastic life out their, free from addiction, and free from the Demon Addict...... for those on both sides of the fence.
None of this was your fault, but you clearly loved the man... and have never really got over the split! I need to remind you of what I am sure a lot of people have told you that you could not stop him in his addiction, loved ones almost never can. my wife tried so hard to help me and just became the enemy in my addicted eyes, so she left. You did nothing wrong in fact by leaving you probably saved your life. Don't be tempted to go back to him, to help him. You are not turning your back on him, on the contrary you are helping him. He is looking for someone to blame for all this and in his warped and twisted mind it is you. Leave him to the professionals now, they will do their best to sort him out!
And you deserve better. There are loads of men out there who would love to meet someone like you and who would give you the life and the love you deserve. Believe me there is a really fantastic life out their, free from addiction, and free from the Demon Addict...... for those on both sides of the fence.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Virginia
Posts: 35
Wow that is quite the (sad) experience. I'm so happy for you that you could put this chapter of your life behind you. I know it must have been very, very difficult. This will serve as an inspiration for those of us still dealing with an A, or having to choose to leave their lives. thank you.
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