need help finding a sponsor

Old 05-31-2013, 10:30 AM
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need help finding a sponsor

I am in Al-Anon and I'm still pretty new to the program I go to three live online meetings a week. I understand the importance of having a sponsor to work the program. Many people have told me that I need a sponsor but I don't know how to find one because I can't attend face-to-face meetings. When I ask them how to find one they usually tell me to go to a face-to-face meeting which is impossible for me to do. How do I find one? Is there such a thing as online sponsors? Also I find it much easier to open up to people with a military background because I grew up around the military. Is there a way I can connect with veterans in Al-Anon?
Thank you
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Old 05-31-2013, 11:45 AM
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Aydan, may I ask why it is impossible for you to do face-to-face meetings? I would think it might be easier to have a sponsor based on a face-to-face meeting, easier to work the steps in person than online, but if you have no other options, I guess I don't see why you can't have an online sponsor...

I don't know how to go about finding a sponsor with specifically a military background other than maybe attending some face-to-face meetings held near military bases or perhaps in VFW posts or the like, hoping that there would be a higher percentage of folks w/a military background in a setting like that. Maybe you can contact the Alanon central office for your region and see if they can advise you at all.

There is a lot of experience on this forum and hopefully someone else will have some better info for you than I did....
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Old 05-31-2013, 12:44 PM
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I can't go to face-to-face because I have major health issues I'm in a wheelchair and it's really hard to get transportation on top of that there are no local meetings that fit this schedule of the limited transportation I do have. I don't have the option of just asking someone for a ride because my wheelchair requires a specialized vehicle. And I must take health precautions just to travel as well. I understand that face-to-face is best I get that but I really cannot go.
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Old 05-31-2013, 01:12 PM
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wow. Such a request and such a need.

I have learned something from the place I take my daughter to Alateen.

I go to the Open AA meeting next door, and it is a new-comer's meeting.

It tends to be pretty well attended -- usually 40 to 50 people, and they end by asking old-timers who may be present if they can take on new sponsees. Usually 5 or more raise their hands. Always like that meeting, but I am Alanon and not AA. I leave and go pick up my daughter, next door.

Back to your request.

[Hammer raises his hand]

Male, Prior Service -- US Army, Enlisted and Officer, did the Green to Gold Program via ROTC.

I could rat out others, female type vets, who I see have wandered through this thread, but if you would prefer female, I will let them speak for themselves.

How may we serve you?
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Old 05-31-2013, 02:01 PM
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I find it much easier to open up to people with a military background because I grew up around the military. Is there a way I can connect with veterans in Al-Anon?
Present. I grew up in the military, my father was an alcoholic, I am in recovery from alcohol, and now on the journey of AlAnon.

I feel as if I do not have enough time in this program to be anyone's sponsor.

I have more "time" in the AA part of the program, but have never sponsored anyone.
You know, I will look around get some opinions and see what we can do.
Even if we just begin a dialogue about recovery.

I will get back to you.

I cannot commit without more information from those who have sponsored someone before.
And, of course, most importantly, how would you feel about being sponsored by a newbie?
Not new to the program, but new to sponsoring.
I am not sure I am qualified, but that is what I am going to find out.

Oh yeah, you should have a sponsor of the same gender if possible.

Beth
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Old 05-31-2013, 02:20 PM
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Aydan, I understand about the wheelchair, etc. I used to work for a company driving a van w/a wheelchair lift, and we worked from 7 AM to 5 PM. Any other hours were on a "private charter" sort of setup and people had to pay out of their own pocket (pricey).

BUT--I knew some folks would show up here w/better options, and they did!!
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Old 05-31-2013, 02:45 PM
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Okay quick clarification my sponsor does not have to be a veteran obviously if I can find a veteran sponsor that would be ideal. But I just want to find some vets in recovery so I can build that buddy system. For whatever reason I just function better that way. So absolutely if you know anybody have them add me as a friend or PM me if they don't want to post here. I don't have any preference male or female vets are fine. I have both male and female friends from college who are vets. I also worked with the veterans organization at my school while I was there. I just feel so out of place in recovery without having any veterans to talk to. I attend open AA meetings online as well. So as far as I'm concerned they can be AA or Al-Anon. I just want buddies who will understand where I'm coming from. I will take anyone who will sponsor me newbie or otherwise.
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Old 05-31-2013, 10:03 PM
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Hello Aydan, and pleased to "meet" you

You wrote on your profile that you are in Richmond, Virginia. My suggestion is that you call whatever military base is closest to you and ask for the Chaplain's office. The larger bases usually have AA meets in whatever building houses the chapel. The Chaplain will be able to tell you where the al-anon meets are. Explain to the Chaplain about your medical needs and see if somebody at the Chaplain's office will relay the message to the people attending the meets.

If it is something you think might be beneficial to you, once you connect with the people at the base you can hold a meeting where _you_ live. I have been quite ill in the past and that is what I did. Called people from the meets and invited them over for a potluck followed by a meeting. Worked great for me.

Mike
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