seeking advice---I have mediation for custody next week
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 267
Stay strong, butterfly. It sounds like you did a great job. Custody is never easy to deal with - I had to do it not once but twice. But once it is settled to your satisfaction, it is so worth sticking to your guns.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 70
Go Butterfly! Am so happy for you and your son, well done!
Mark Twain once said 'Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down then beat you with experience'. By keeping calm, sticking to the facts and maintaining your integrity you've rightly shown yourself to be the better parent - the mediator saw that, and saw straight through your ex.
Mark Twain once said 'Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down then beat you with experience'. By keeping calm, sticking to the facts and maintaining your integrity you've rightly shown yourself to be the better parent - the mediator saw that, and saw straight through your ex.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Excellent!!
You done good, kiddo! FWIW, you don't always need extrinsic proof of something--where all there is is the testimony of the parties, the judge weighs the credibility of the testimony to make the decision. It sounds as if you make a VERY credible witness, and your ex comes off exactly as he is. So, yes, if you have any extrinsic proof try your best to gather it, but if not, just do your thing in court the way you did in mediation. The standard isn't beyond a reasonable doubt, it's just a preponderance of the evidence--IOW, the judge just has to believe you more than he does the ex.
Good job!!!!
You done good, kiddo! FWIW, you don't always need extrinsic proof of something--where all there is is the testimony of the parties, the judge weighs the credibility of the testimony to make the decision. It sounds as if you make a VERY credible witness, and your ex comes off exactly as he is. So, yes, if you have any extrinsic proof try your best to gather it, but if not, just do your thing in court the way you did in mediation. The standard isn't beyond a reasonable doubt, it's just a preponderance of the evidence--IOW, the judge just has to believe you more than he does the ex.
Good job!!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Bay Area, CA
Posts: 188
Originally Posted by LexieCat 
Excellent!!
You done good, kiddo! FWIW, you don't always need extrinsic proof of something--where all there is is the testimony of the parties, the judge weighs the credibility of the testimony to make the decision. It sounds as if you make a VERY credible witness, and your ex comes off exactly as he is. So, yes, if you have any extrinsic proof try your best to gather it, but if not, just do your thing in court the way you did in mediation. The standard isn't beyond a reasonable doubt, it's just a preponderance of the evidence--IOW, the judge just has to believe you more than he does the ex.
Good job!!!!
You done good, kiddo! FWIW, you don't always need extrinsic proof of something--where all there is is the testimony of the parties, the judge weighs the credibility of the testimony to make the decision. It sounds as if you make a VERY credible witness, and your ex comes off exactly as he is. So, yes, if you have any extrinsic proof try your best to gather it, but if not, just do your thing in court the way you did in mediation. The standard isn't beyond a reasonable doubt, it's just a preponderance of the evidence--IOW, the judge just has to believe you more than he does the ex.
Good job!!!!
Oh, thanks for this helpful tip, LexieCat! It helps ease my mind a little bit regarding the lack of actual proof I have regarding his recent drinking (and especially the incident that happened in March when he entered my home very drunk and then the next morning told me he would always be an alcoholic and it doesn't matter if our son sees him like that). My ex, on the other hands, lies about anything and everything.
I'm trying not to get too anxious between now and my hearing which will be held next month.
Edited to add: My ex told this morning that "he did not have one drink" so he can't possibly be an alcoholic, and he also said that if the judge grants my request (full physical custody for me and supervised visitation and random alcohol testing for), then he will just move back to the bay area (where we are both from originally from and where our extended families still live). He said, "I ain't paying $50 an hour just so someone can watch my spend time with my son." Quack, quack.
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