iamthird

Im not feeling so well this afternoon. I text everyone in my list and everyone is busy. So only one to ask to help with daughter is him. This is what i mean. I dont want to have to ask. I called about 6 people and its just bad timing. Hes blocked on my cell so I just emailed him. He probably wont respond.

This is hard to feel helpless.

Kimmieh

Don't feel bad about asking him to help with your daughter. Think of him as her father whose duty it is to step in as a caretaker rather than your ex-husband.

Take care!!

iamthird

He didnt reply to me asking for help yesterday. I have had no sleep...I just want to cry!!

CentralOhioDad

((((HUGS)))) and prayers for you, don't kbnow what else to say.

Peace,
C-OH Dad

Momzo

Big warm hugs to you xoxoxo

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I don't know what to say...sorry. How old is your child?

iamthird

She is 4.

LexieCat

I'm so sorry you are in this difficult situation. I don't have any answers, but wanted to send you hugs and support.

Kimmieh

I am so sorry! Sending hugs your way!

ivegotsunshine

Hi Iamthird. Someone else mentioned it earlier and I agree, you are NOT third! I can only imagine that it feels that way but right now you need to be first second third and all of the above!
I dont know your situation but I can see you are struggling and I truly wish you the best. I listened to a cd from my library about a year ago called the secret. It helped me tremendously and I do believe that it can work wonders on us and our world around us. I got it on CD so I cold listen on my way to work. Its very soothing and uplifting.
Just a suggestion.
I wish you all the strength and love in the world.

dmc1960

This has got to be so hard. I will pray for you!

iamthird

So I confronted separated AH about him helping me with our 4 year old. He literally told me he would have his girlfriend who works in payroll/benefits cancel me off of his health insurance policy. Sad thing is, she would. He would. What kind of heartless person threatens me to be cancelled off of his health insurance when I am in cancer treatment...

I am so low. I am so angry. I want him and his new girlfriend to pay. How can people be so cruel and heartless? I feel like I am going over the edge. You can only push someone so far...

He literally told me he never loved me, he was never happy with me and he could care less if i died from my disease...im so beat down.

HopefulmomtoD

I am so sorry you are going through this, but you have somehow have to find the strength to be strong for you and your daughter. He sounds insane and its obvious you are not going to get support from him- so don't even try. Reach out to friends. There have to be people that WILL support you. How about your church, or other organizations?

Your daughter NEEDS you. You can do this.

(Life is NOT fair .... )

LexieCat

Isn't your health insurance coverage part of your divorce decree? You might want to check with your divorce lawyer. Most plans will not cover former spouses after a certain point unless it is through COBRA. Not giving legal advice here, but suggesting that you check on that.

iamthird

We are separated, not legally. We have no divorce decree. Thats what i have been saying tha i dont have the time, money or strength to take on a divorce too.

LexieCat

Oh, OK, I'm sorry, for some reason I was thinking you were divorced. I don't believe he has the ability to simply take you off his insurance without proof that you have other insurance. It isn't my area of expertise, but my belief is that that is an empty threat he cannot carry out. You could call the insurance company and ask under what circumstances a spouse could cancel the other's coverage.

HopefulmomtoD

I agree with Lexie, they can't just take you off of the policy. Its crazy talk. I'm not going to pretend I understand the stress you are under, because I can't. Try and keep your distance from them as much as possible. Focus on the important things in your life.

ReflectingOnMe

I work in HR in Ohio; and with our insurance company, he could not just remove you from his insurance, unless he was able to present a divorce decree; or unless it the end of the coverage year. Also, by mandate, his employer would have to send you notification of cancellation and the option to pick up the cost through COBRA. Contact your lawyer for confirmation/your rights. They will know. Also, have you thought of trying to get continued coverage through COBRA (with him splitting the cost by order of the court?). Your health is extremely important, in general, but even more so now - he is crossing boundries and being flat out cruel. Have you considered talking to the lawyer about a neutral visitation drop off point? With my first husband (not an addict) I used to do MCDs. I would arrive, he would arrive. I'd get my daughter out of the car and pass her over; and then get right back into my car and drive away. Same for pick up. A nice standard schedule, no reason for ANY communication. It was made clear that he could be up to 15 min late; or he was forfeiting his visit. It is a nice way to keep your home from being intruded upon.
I am so annoyed at this selfish a$$ho#& that I could spit!

iamthird

So I got all the "I am sorry" messages. He said I didn't deserve the verbal assault he gave me and he is just going to try and stay out of my life. He said that he's been closed down too long now to try and change who he is now. I guess this is when I need to listen to that old saying...he is showing me who he is, I need to believe him.

I will try hard not to engage with him at all as minimal as possible for our daughter. Grieving this relationship is the hardest thing to do while I am fighting my illness. I have to look at it like God is doing this for a reason. I have to look at it like maybe God is positioning me to be able to focus on my illness and that is it.

It is a hard time, but I am going to cherish everyday I have with my children. It is a gift.