Welcome my best friend ever.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
Welcome my best friend ever.
:ghug3
My very best girlfriend from decades back is in trouble.
I love her like my sister, she HAS been a sister to me.
We were out of touch for awhile but to my great delight, she is in my life again.
I love her, there's no other way to say it.
I don't know what user name she will use yet, but I hope to see her here soon.
Since SR saved my life when I was with an addict and abuser, I recommended this site to her.
The collective wisdom and individuals here is exponentially so much more than I can give.
Please help me lift her up and hold her hand when needed.
We all know how incredibly difficult and extremely painful it can be to extricate ourselves from an addicted lover and that abuse magnifies it many fold.
But I know we can help her re-connect with her own innate great strength and courage, as well as offer practical tips to help her negotiate her course.
I haven't been in this forum hardly at all for a long time because enough time has passed with my situation, that it often seems like a surreal nightmare. I have pretty much moved on.
I know that you all are a better voice in this than I am.
This is a warm, comforting, helpful place for all who need it.
You are amazing.
Thank you!!
Me, I just want to do this:
to her mate. lol
My very best girlfriend from decades back is in trouble.
I love her like my sister, she HAS been a sister to me.
We were out of touch for awhile but to my great delight, she is in my life again.
I love her, there's no other way to say it.
I don't know what user name she will use yet, but I hope to see her here soon.
Since SR saved my life when I was with an addict and abuser, I recommended this site to her.
The collective wisdom and individuals here is exponentially so much more than I can give.
Please help me lift her up and hold her hand when needed.
We all know how incredibly difficult and extremely painful it can be to extricate ourselves from an addicted lover and that abuse magnifies it many fold.
But I know we can help her re-connect with her own innate great strength and courage, as well as offer practical tips to help her negotiate her course.
I haven't been in this forum hardly at all for a long time because enough time has passed with my situation, that it often seems like a surreal nightmare. I have pretty much moved on.
I know that you all are a better voice in this than I am.
This is a warm, comforting, helpful place for all who need it.
You are amazing.
Thank you!!
Me, I just want to do this:
to her mate. lol
Welcome to SR ((ktgirl))!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
KT, HIDE you computer/web history.
The stickies on how are above but I will go find it for you.
The less she knows, the better.
Friends, KT can only come here when she is alone in the house. I know you understand.
The stickies on how are above but I will go find it for you.
The less she knows, the better.
Friends, KT can only come here when she is alone in the house. I know you understand.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
I know you know most of this, but here is the refresher course:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ituations.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ituations.html
Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: PA
Posts: 985
Will welcome your friend and soon to be our friend (for suckie reasons) but it is nice to have someone see how helpful we all can be.
I remember when I was referred by friend from another website and will always be grateful to her for sharing this site with me. I miss talking to her but can only hope it is because she moved on in a good way.
Welcom kt!
I remember when I was referred by friend from another website and will always be grateful to her for sharing this site with me. I miss talking to her but can only hope it is because she moved on in a good way.
Welcom kt!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Real World
Posts: 729
Originally Posted by ktgirl 
Hanging in there, by a thread it seems. But I am trying to remember what a strong and capable woman I was and hope she returns
Keep your head up, finding a good place to vent and learn helps. Read 759 stories that are nearly identical and you start feeling sane... Or at least you realize that the asylum ain't under crowded :-)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
KT is pretty sick right now, so I am keeping the light on.
I was reading the thread about verbal/emotional abuse. I have horrifying stories I have never told anyone nor even hinted about...they are so outrageous, nasty and humiliating.
So damaging to my dignity and personhood that I just won't tell.
And the he did THAT (with shock) and YOU did not leave?
Well, I did leave and come back...back and forth, back and forth..for almost 6 years, I think.
I think the stats are that a woman leaves 13 times before she is gone for good. I wouldn't have lived thro another 7, no doubt in my mind.
But one tiny, no big deal really event popped into my mind while reading that thread.
We had made plans for the day in advance. Right off that morning, he is turning nasty...so plans are off. No big deal, I am used to that, happens more often than not.
The house is whistle clean and I am stranded there. He would disable my car to prevent me from leaving, not worth the hassle. I had gotten pretty good at detaching and ignoring his running commentary and bitching etc etc etc.
I sat down in a chair in the living room and got a good start on reading a relationship book, still trying to figure out which end was up and how to handle things. He had never minded me reading before, nice little hostage. I read a line in that book that really piqued me off. Decided he was acting like an ahole anyway so wth? Read the line aloud to him. He tore at me in a fury, ripped the book out of my hands and flung it as hard as he could across the room. And, yes, I was afraid to get up and go pick it up again. And now, he had an excuse to ramp up the nasty. I was so damned used to this, that this barely registered, I just found some other way to ignore him.
Years later that one small thing stands out to me now as absolutely insane. I can no longer imagine anyone policing my reading, when, what, where or how. ever.
Never mind the really big, dangerous and scary stuff.
I have developed a very keen detector of even a hint of these kinds of dynamics.
And I don't deal with anyone who rolls that way.
I was reading the thread about verbal/emotional abuse. I have horrifying stories I have never told anyone nor even hinted about...they are so outrageous, nasty and humiliating.
So damaging to my dignity and personhood that I just won't tell.
And the he did THAT (with shock) and YOU did not leave?
Well, I did leave and come back...back and forth, back and forth..for almost 6 years, I think.
I think the stats are that a woman leaves 13 times before she is gone for good. I wouldn't have lived thro another 7, no doubt in my mind.
But one tiny, no big deal really event popped into my mind while reading that thread.
We had made plans for the day in advance. Right off that morning, he is turning nasty...so plans are off. No big deal, I am used to that, happens more often than not.
The house is whistle clean and I am stranded there. He would disable my car to prevent me from leaving, not worth the hassle. I had gotten pretty good at detaching and ignoring his running commentary and bitching etc etc etc.
I sat down in a chair in the living room and got a good start on reading a relationship book, still trying to figure out which end was up and how to handle things. He had never minded me reading before, nice little hostage. I read a line in that book that really piqued me off. Decided he was acting like an ahole anyway so wth? Read the line aloud to him. He tore at me in a fury, ripped the book out of my hands and flung it as hard as he could across the room. And, yes, I was afraid to get up and go pick it up again. And now, he had an excuse to ramp up the nasty. I was so damned used to this, that this barely registered, I just found some other way to ignore him.
Years later that one small thing stands out to me now as absolutely insane. I can no longer imagine anyone policing my reading, when, what, where or how. ever.
Never mind the really big, dangerous and scary stuff.
I have developed a very keen detector of even a hint of these kinds of dynamics.
And I don't deal with anyone who rolls that way.
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