He's Going to Die....
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Wilmington, DE
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Originally Posted by Lenina 
My favorite part of an AA meeting was at the end where we have a moment of silence for those who still suffer. I do believe in the power of concentrated thought/prayer. I will think of him, his family and all who love and care for him today.
Love from Lenina
Love from Lenina
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Join Date: Jan 2012
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As of this morning they made a diagnosis of pneumonia and fluid in the lungs, ON TOP of the other problems (nobody has said liver failture yet but I have a feeling that it will come out soon enough)
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Join Date: Jan 2011
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Yeah - I know my friend first got a diagnosis of "stomach infection". It took several days and many tests to determine liver failure. She got worse quickly, too. One day I was with her and she looked relatively decent. The next...well...let's just say she went downhill over night and didn't recover.
More prayers, so glad to hear his family forced him to go.
More prayers, so glad to hear his family forced him to go.
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Yeah, I mean they can do all the testing they want but I already know the outcome. (i know that sounds kind of cocky, lol) Of course there is always the option of a possible transplant but that is only if he chooses that path. At this point he isnt really capable of doing much
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Wisconsin
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My friend died this way. Im very sorry for your situation.
Unless it changes from state to state, they will not do a liver transplant on an active alcoholic. Too much demand from otherwise healthy people to give one to somebody who has abused their own.
Its amazing that some people will just keep drinking until they literally break.
I think its a combination of fear and feeling like no one cares.
My friend was loved by so many people, and there were hundreds of people at his funeral. Yet he felt utterly alone. This is a damnable illness.
Unless it changes from state to state, they will not do a liver transplant on an active alcoholic. Too much demand from otherwise healthy people to give one to somebody who has abused their own.
Its amazing that some people will just keep drinking until they literally break.
I think its a combination of fear and feeling like no one cares.
My friend was loved by so many people, and there were hundreds of people at his funeral. Yet he felt utterly alone. This is a damnable illness.
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Indeed it is. When I was actively drinking I too felt very alone, even though I have a loving family with plenty of people who care about me. And anyone who thinks this isnt a disease hasn't had a close enough brush with it. It is sick. It is mentally, physically sick.
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Another update: still in hospital, and wont tell anyone (including family) what the doctors are saying, so of course everyone is assuming it is something extremely bad (other than the liver problem, possibly cancer or heart trouble)
Won't know anything more unless they decide to tell someone, which is of course entirely up to him, as its his body and his choice.
I am still praying and going strong thanks to all of your support as well as my meetings.
Won't know anything more unless they decide to tell someone, which is of course entirely up to him, as its his body and his choice.
I am still praying and going strong thanks to all of your support as well as my meetings.
Peace, Love, Sobriety
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Well, I was informed this morning that over the weekend he signed himself out of the hospital and has gone back to pretending life is normal. So I guess we are playing the waiting game now.
Will continue to pray and hit meetings and again I thank you all for all of your love and support here.
Will continue to pray and hit meetings and again I thank you all for all of your love and support here.
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Oh i dont think he ever stopped, he had constant visitors during his stay (drinking buddies) and I'm sure he tipped them a good bit to bring him something. Money is no object for him, which is truly sad because he has all of the resources availble to go to a great rehab, he just doesnt want it.
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
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I asked my friend if she wanted to die. She said "most days". I took from that the despair she was feeling, especially looking at a life without drinking in it. I may be assuming here, but I got the distinct impression she chose this path, because the other path...getting sober, taking responsibility, fixing her many, many wrongs, was just too overwhelming. I think death just seemed an easier road.
Do you think he just wants to die too?
Do you think he just wants to die too?
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern Ontario, Canada
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The sad truth (in my humble opinion) is that if someone doesnt want to help themself there is nothing you can do 
. I watched one of my uncles die from alcoholism and nothing in the world, including his wife, friends and family, could do anything to stop him. I dont mean to sound cold, Ive just come to the conclusion that because im so compassionate and care so very much, I have to *try* and stop helping people who wont help themselves. I can say my piece but that is about it. It sounds selfish but right now I have so many of my own issues that I WANT to deal with, i just dont have the energy to deal with someone else's. It has taken me years to get to the point where I dont make myself sicker because of someone else who isnt even trying.
. I watched one of my uncles die from alcoholism and nothing in the world, including his wife, friends and family, could do anything to stop him. I dont mean to sound cold, Ive just come to the conclusion that because im so compassionate and care so very much, I have to *try* and stop helping people who wont help themselves. I can say my piece but that is about it. It sounds selfish but right now I have so many of my own issues that I WANT to deal with, i just dont have the energy to deal with someone else's. It has taken me years to get to the point where I dont make myself sicker because of someone else who isnt even trying.
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Originally Posted by Tuffgirl
I asked my friend if she wanted to die. She said "most days". I took from that the despair she was feeling, especially looking at a life without drinking in it. I may be assuming here, but I got the distinct impression she chose this path, because the other path...getting sober, taking responsibility, fixing her many, many wrongs, was just too overwhelming. I think death just seemed an easier road.
Do you think he just wants to die too?
Do you think he just wants to die too?
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1,618
It is so hard to watch another person do that to themselves. It puts it in perspective for me when my parents and ex watched me almost accidently kill myself several times and destroy my life while drunk. My uncle died of alcoholism and in his case nothing, not his wife or family, could stop him and we all tried for years. I have learned that unfortunately you cant help someone who doesnt want to help themselves...all you can do is be kind, offer your support and opinion, and at the end of the day take care of yourself. It is even harder for very compassionate people, like many addicts/alcoholics are. It must be especially hard to see this person all the time. Best of luck to you and the one you are concerned about!
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Originally Posted by Windancer
It is so hard to watch another person do that to themselves. It puts it in perspective for me when my parents and ex watched me almost accidently kill myself several times and destroy my life while drunk. My uncle died of alcoholism and in his case nothing, not his wife or family, could stop him and we all tried for years. I have learned that unfortunately you cant help someone who doesnt want to help themselves...all you can do is be kind, offer your support and opinion, and at the end of the day take care of yourself. It is even harder for very compassionate people, like many addicts/alcoholics are. It must be especially hard to see this person all the time. Best of luck to you and the one you are concerned about!
Last edited by DesertEyes; 11-16-2012 at 07:41 PM. Reason: fixed broken quote
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Well the time has come....i have received extremely bad news.
He was found unresponsive yesterday and rushed back to the ER, where he finally told his family what has been going on. Cancer. (originally in the kidneys but has now spread and is way too late)
He knew about it months ago but he didnt want anyone else to know so he just ignored it and kept drinking....
They have given him less then 2 weeks to live.....the family is absolutely crushed, as am i and my other co-workers. he was like family to us all.....
He was found unresponsive yesterday and rushed back to the ER, where he finally told his family what has been going on. Cancer. (originally in the kidneys but has now spread and is way too late)
He knew about it months ago but he didnt want anyone else to know so he just ignored it and kept drinking....
They have given him less then 2 weeks to live.....the family is absolutely crushed, as am i and my other co-workers. he was like family to us all.....
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Join Date: Aug 2012
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I am so sorry you have received such news. I am, however, comforted that you, his family, friends and co-workers are relieved from that limbo of not knowing what was happening, and can be there for each other over the trying times ahead.
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Join Date: Sep 2007
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((FlyerFan)) - I'm sooo sorry. I've been reading this thread, since you started, and I can only imagine how hard this is for you and the family. I hope you continue to read and post...we do care, very much.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
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Join Date: Jan 2012
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Thank you all. You have been so supportive, and I am actually going to a a meeting tonight and speaking, so I guess I knwo what my topic will be. *sigh*
Its just a shame....
Its just a shame....
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