My Struggle at This Moment in Time
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Caucasian;West Coast; Husband sometimes breathes fire; hence his nickname Dragon & mine Mrs. Dragon
Posts: 176
Originally Posted by WishingWell 
Amy, this just flooded my eyes with tears, it so beautiful.
I "tell him" ...I'm going to tuck you in my heart and let you feel what recovery and gratitude feel like.
I've spent some time reading the Grief forum and Addiction forums. I find myself crying many times at all the pain. Such pain these people are in. We're all in pain -
Love what you just wrote . . .
I "tell him" ...I'm going to tuck you in my heart and let you feel what recovery and gratitude feel like.
I've spent some time reading the Grief forum and Addiction forums. I find myself crying many times at all the pain. Such pain these people are in. We're all in pain -
Love what you just wrote . . .
Me too Amy. That was so beautiful and heartfelt. Thank you for sharing.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Caucasian;West Coast; Husband sometimes breathes fire; hence his nickname Dragon & mine Mrs. Dragon
Posts: 176
Originally Posted by seek
The problem, for me, is that when your child or grandchild is doing well in school, say, or is healthy and happy - parents and grandparents are also happy. This is natural. When your child or grandchild is sick or struggling, or has made serious mistakes or lifestyle choices that result in pain and sorrow, then the reverse is also true: You are sad about that. That is human nature and to say it is somehow warped or there is something "wrong" with wanting your relatives to be healthy is really a stretch, in my mind.
I don’t want to live in a world where it is viewed as wrong to have hopes, dreams, and expectations for those I love. And as a parent, I think it is my job to nurture a positive and productive thought process within my son. Even now that he is grown, I still feel that it is my job to offer gentle guidance based on wisdom of age and experience.
I want to live in a world where I can remain part of my sons life; accept who he is at this moment even if it differs from the expectations that I originally had for him.
What I believe is that gentle, subtle positive reinforcement from those he loves; will reach him. And I think when the time comes and he is ready for change, knowing he has the belief, support, and forgiveness of his family; that will be a well of strength for him to draw on.
This is what my husband and I believe, and what we are doing.
Iceberg Ahead!
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Out at Sea
Posts: 1,177
Thank you so very much WishingWell for such guidance! Love your stuff Amy!
You too MrsDragon!
Wow, moving and powerful Impurrfect!
How tough is it to take it, suck it in, vent it, let HUGE things go, see it happen over and over again, and repeat? How does one get to that plateau of making peace with all of it when it continues to affect one's family, kids & oneself?
You too MrsDragon!
Wow, moving and powerful Impurrfect!
How tough is it to take it, suck it in, vent it, let HUGE things go, see it happen over and over again, and repeat? How does one get to that plateau of making peace with all of it when it continues to affect one's family, kids & oneself?
To thine own self be true.
Join Date: May 2009
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 5,924
I had to get to the point where I believed those people who told me I was a know-it-all. I had to believe thise people who told me I was a perfectionist. Then I had to let go of those tendencies. I had to practice letting things in my life be good enough. I forced myself not to fold my laundry perfectly. I forced myself not to focus on every single word in a book to understand everything it was saying. I had to allow others to be the individuals they were. I had to learn how to stand on my own two feet. I had to do the work to build my own life, and my own self, instead of using my work to help others build their own lives and their own selves. I had to let go of the idea that I know what is best for anyone but myself. I had to let go of the notion that my way is right. I had to finally accept that no matter what I do, the outcomes are not guaranteed, and none of us really knows what will happen in the future, despite all the common sense in the world. That there really is no formula. That there is only life. And it is a journey.
And it's time to start walkin'.
And it's time to start walkin'.
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