Good god.... I can't believe what just happened!!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 6,262
I think you're trying to control other people and, at the same time, over-reacting. So someone posted a few encouraging words. Why is it a big deal? And why do you care so much what other people think?
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
Hey Gettingby, THANKS for being such a good sport! I think I understand more since you gave more background.
We tend to grab a good laugh---when we can get it. No disrespect intended.
There are some good guys out there who will appreciate you for who you are inside. Keep turning over stones---but, don't settle. I think you already get that, though.
Happy hunting
dandylion
We tend to grab a good laugh---when we can get it. No disrespect intended.
There are some good guys out there who will appreciate you for who you are inside. Keep turning over stones---but, don't settle. I think you already get that, though.
Happy hunting
dandylion
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,292
Gettinby: I'm with you, CREEPY! How anyone can thing that is cute from a practical stranger is just unusual to me.
This falls in line with "how to lose a guy in 10 days"
If a woman did this to a man, he would run for the hills/
Total turn off if you ask me
This falls in line with "how to lose a guy in 10 days"
If a woman did this to a man, he would run for the hills/
Total turn off if you ask me
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Canada
Posts: 230
:rotfxko
I'm with you, that's a bit on the side of CRAZ-AY. But I did get a good laugh out of it, and maybe, just maybe he thought you'd get a laugh out of it too and that was all it was about.
If nothing else, that story totally made me laugh out loud.
I'm with you, that's a bit on the side of CRAZ-AY. But I did get a good laugh out of it, and maybe, just maybe he thought you'd get a laugh out of it too and that was all it was about.
If nothing else, that story totally made me laugh out loud.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Western Canada
Posts: 540
GB I totally agree with you that it was too much too soon. The way it was so public would have really annoyed me.
Two stories from me:
1.). A guy I had been dating for a couple of weeks showed up out of the blue and uninvited at my WORKPLACE, just before I was about to go do something stressful and important. I was p****d. Broke up with him shortly after.
2.). A guy I knew very vaguely from a social group I participate in (not AA, a sporting event), and had barely said two words to, and certainly not given any encouragement to at all, sent ROSES to, wait for it.... MY PLACE OF EMPLOYMENT. Argh! The roses had a note that said, "will you go out with me, love xx.". I said no.
I still get teased about these two things. I actually don't mind the teasing, but I did mind what both these guys did.
Two stories from me:
1.). A guy I had been dating for a couple of weeks showed up out of the blue and uninvited at my WORKPLACE, just before I was about to go do something stressful and important. I was p****d. Broke up with him shortly after.
2.). A guy I knew very vaguely from a social group I participate in (not AA, a sporting event), and had barely said two words to, and certainly not given any encouragement to at all, sent ROSES to, wait for it.... MY PLACE OF EMPLOYMENT. Argh! The roses had a note that said, "will you go out with me, love xx.". I said no.
I still get teased about these two things. I actually don't mind the teasing, but I did mind what both these guys did.
Last edited by Sobersunshine; 09-16-2012 at 07:59 PM. Reason: Typo
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 633
He knew what he was doing. What he was doing was publicly marking you as "his" so others (who might ask you out) would think you guys are an item.
He was peeing on you like a dog pees on a fire hydrant, it's as simple as that.
He was peeing on you like a dog pees on a fire hydrant, it's as simple as that.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,796
Not sure how I'd react to that.
I am of the generation who still gets "hit on" while walking down the street, by other pedestrians as well as drivers. "Hey yo baby, can I get your number? Can I take you home?" Of course I ignore them and they change their tune fast and express other entirely different sentiments.
I am of the generation who still gets "hit on" while walking down the street, by other pedestrians as well as drivers. "Hey yo baby, can I get your number? Can I take you home?" Of course I ignore them and they change their tune fast and express other entirely different sentiments.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 2,052
Might be a stalker, might just have a huge crush...
...and prone to grand gestures. If this were me, and a woman did that, I'd probably respond one of two ways.
If I wanted to see her again prior to the gesture I'd set a boundary around "grand gestures" and see if she respected it. If so, then maybe another date is in order. If not, done and done.
If I didn't want to see her again I'd tell her thanks for the gesture but I'm not interested in seeing her again. If she respected it, great. If not, a restraining order would be in order.
Either way, I'm with you-- after all I've been through with me alcoholic anything, and I mean anything over the top is way too much for me and makes me very, very NOT OK.
Take care Shannon. ("You're the best!" Joke goes here)
Cyranoak
If I wanted to see her again prior to the gesture I'd set a boundary around "grand gestures" and see if she respected it. If so, then maybe another date is in order. If not, done and done.
If I didn't want to see her again I'd tell her thanks for the gesture but I'm not interested in seeing her again. If she respected it, great. If not, a restraining order would be in order.
Either way, I'm with you-- after all I've been through with me alcoholic anything, and I mean anything over the top is way too much for me and makes me very, very NOT OK.
Take care Shannon. ("You're the best!" Joke goes here)
Cyranoak
Originally Posted by Tuffgirl 
I'm with Thumper; this isn't stalking. To me, stalking would have been him around every corner of the race with a cardboard sign and a t-shirt with your face on it titled "Team Shannon".
Maybe its a sign from your HP for you to learn to laugh at yourself?! I think there's a line between good humored joking and ridicule. And I'd be flattered that someone would go to the lengths this guy did to get your attention. Unless he did it while drunk! ; )
I know a lot of men whose motto is "go big or go home".
Maybe its a sign from your HP for you to learn to laugh at yourself?! I think there's a line between good humored joking and ridicule. And I'd be flattered that someone would go to the lengths this guy did to get your attention. Unless he did it while drunk! ; )
I know a lot of men whose motto is "go big or go home".
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 1,637
Originally Posted by Cyranoak
If I wanted to see her again prior to the gesture I'd set a boundary around "grand gestures" and see if she respected it. If so, then maybe another date is in order. If not, done and done.
If I didn't want to see her again I'd tell her thanks for the gesture but I'm not interested in seeing her again. If she respected it, great. If not, a restraining order would be in order.
If I didn't want to see her again I'd tell her thanks for the gesture but I'm not interested in seeing her again. If she respected it, great. If not, a restraining order would be in order.
And yes, I did talk to him and was very clear that what he did was over the top and unacceptable to me. Thank god for my recovery because I was actually able to say what I mean, mean what I say... and I didn't say it mean!!
Originally Posted by Cyranoak
("You're the best!" Joke goes here)
I LOVE YOU CYRANOAK!!!!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 1,637
Originally Posted by Jazzman
* Jazz makes note to self.. don't spray paint PDAs on pavement...*
Got it! Thanks!
Got it! Thanks!
And if you do INSIST on doing it.... at least have a plan of attack so that it doesn't end up looking like this hot mess...
And to think... he thought no one would notice?!!??! :rotfxko
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 1,928
Originally Posted by suki44883
Yeah, I don't think it's psycho either ...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 1,637
Labelling it pyscho was probably a bit of a "reaction" on my part.
Had I been way into the guy... I'm guessing I would have had a different reaction. Since I was only lukewarm about him... this was totally not cool with me.
The good news about all of this - is that I'm learning ALOT about myself, the kinds of guys I am and am not attracted to, and learning how to take my time and be more selective about who I chose to spend time with
Had I been way into the guy... I'm guessing I would have had a different reaction. Since I was only lukewarm about him... this was totally not cool with me.
The good news about all of this - is that I'm learning ALOT about myself, the kinds of guys I am and am not attracted to, and learning how to take my time and be more selective about who I chose to spend time with
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: New York
Posts: 106
Getting By,
Thanks for this thread. I remember coming on here when I was going through the worst of it. I think our time frame is similar. You may have left your ex only a few months before I left mine.
I also started dating recently (and getting fit, YAY!) and it's not easy.
There's a whole redefinition of identity that goes on with it. Obviously, I thought my ex was PERRfect for me - stylistically, intellectually, professionally, I thought we were a match.
Now that has been taken away from me, I'm not even sure what I find attractive anymore.
I can be grateful though as I feel myself heal. I feel sexier and more confident than I think I ever have in my life, so at least I got that!
Thanks for this thread. I remember coming on here when I was going through the worst of it. I think our time frame is similar. You may have left your ex only a few months before I left mine.
I also started dating recently (and getting fit, YAY!) and it's not easy.
There's a whole redefinition of identity that goes on with it. Obviously, I thought my ex was PERRfect for me - stylistically, intellectually, professionally, I thought we were a match.
Now that has been taken away from me, I'm not even sure what I find attractive anymore.
I can be grateful though as I feel myself heal. I feel sexier and more confident than I think I ever have in my life, so at least I got that!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 159
Oh wow the picture tells a lot.
1- He defaced public property.
2- He went in someone's yard and sprayed their grass.
3- He vandalized someone's yard.
4- He vandalized a beautiful neighborhood street with permanent spray paint.
5- What he did is against the law.
What a beautiful well kept neighborhood. What kind of immature adult thinks it's cool to ruin a street and deface someone's property? The people on that street now have to look at this person's graffiti permanently. I would be furious if someone did that in front of my beautiful home and on my lawn. It would cost me a hundred bucks to get a steam cleaner to remove that. Did he even care that he ruined the serenity of that neighborhood? That kind of stuff can ruin the value of your home and makes your neighborhood look rundown.
All I can say is wow. Run!
1- He defaced public property.
2- He went in someone's yard and sprayed their grass.
3- He vandalized someone's yard.
4- He vandalized a beautiful neighborhood street with permanent spray paint.
5- What he did is against the law.
What a beautiful well kept neighborhood. What kind of immature adult thinks it's cool to ruin a street and deface someone's property? The people on that street now have to look at this person's graffiti permanently. I would be furious if someone did that in front of my beautiful home and on my lawn. It would cost me a hundred bucks to get a steam cleaner to remove that. Did he even care that he ruined the serenity of that neighborhood? That kind of stuff can ruin the value of your home and makes your neighborhood look rundown.
All I can say is wow. Run!
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