Tuffgirl

Funny thing just happened - got a text message from a guy who likes me. I don't feel the same way at all. I've known him for years, and have never thought of him as anything but a friend and fellow classmate. He's trying to subtlety make the moves, and it irritates the crap out of me, because I don't feel the same way. Others may think he's being nice. It's all relative to what we prefer and where we are in life, as Suki says. If this guy showed up an an event of mine and did what yours did, I would be angry and embarrassed too.

Titanic

Guys are supposed to try, and women do too these days. That's real life! We can politely say "no, thanks, but I'm flattered."

At least you have people interested! Consider yourself lucky!

dandylion

"WHEELS spinning":rotfxko

dandylion

dandylion

To illustrate a difference between people---this reminds me of something.

My children's father---I packed hard boiled eggs with hearts or a "message" in crayon on the shells. He was annoyed and asked me to stop. He said he was embarrased and that we weren't kids anymore. (I felt hurt). (I divorced him, eventually).

My sweet husband who recently died--loved it when I did the same thing!

Go figure?

dandylion

Titanic

Moral of the story: watch out who you share your eggs with!

Tuffgirl

Or don't put all your eggs in one basket!

GettingBy

The fact is... I've known him a MONTH. Seen him in person only twice! The show of "affection" was nowhere near in line with our "relationship" (which was nothing more than possibly a budding friendship).

If he had shown up with eggs... I would have cracked them over his head!!


Either way... I wasn't overly into him. I figured I'd give dinner a try and let things play out. This was a huge turnoff for me... And he's officially UNPICKED!!! LOL!!!

Titanic

Lol

mfanch

"Every kettle needs a lid." is something my sponsor told me. She says that until I have made fundamental changes within, I will keep attracting the same kind of man over and over.

"Over the past 3-4 weeks, I've had 3 different men go (for lack of better terminology) pyscho on me."

3 men.

Your idea about taking break from romance does seem to be in order. Psycho?? That is your perception, of course, but the other (why this is happening) is worth consideration.

GettingBy

Ya know... The old, prerecovery me would have said the same thing. I would have considered myself lucky to have someone interested in me and would have figure out someway to make myself okay with it. I would have said something like, "well he's a nice guy and was just trying to be nice."

Sure we want people to work to pursue us... That doesn't mean we have to swoon at anyone's attempts to win us over.

In recovery, I've learned that is totally okay to say,"thanks but no thanks." I wasn't a "fan" of his antics because I really am not ready to have my team and coworkers (who are all like family to me) having a front seat to my attempts to get back into the dating scene!! I am a private person and that's just fine by me.

Titanic

Make sure that the inside of that lid isn't inscribed with "Boil Shannon boil!"

GettingBy

Mfanch... Those 3 men were back in may. I did take a break for the months of June, July and August. I did take a break. In fact, it talked to this one a MONTH before I agreed to a dinner.

But I see your point. I don't know why I seem to attract men who seemingly fall head over heels so easily. It makes me seriously gunshy about dating. Honestly, I think it happens because... I'm attractive... Blond hair, green eyes, athletic build, in great shape, smart, successful career, smart, independent and a great sense of humor. As my guy friends tell me, "you're every guy's dream! Of course these guys are chasing you!!! But don't settle Shannon!"

So I am selective about going out to dinner with me I am subdued and restrained and not over zealous or desperate (like i used to be!!) I am confident and secure... And that problably draws them like a moth to a flame.... But I'm sure as **** not going to stop being me. I'm just going to keep saying no thanks until I find one who deserves me

LaTeeDa

I think I understand why it creeped you out. It was a PDA, as my kids say. (Public display of affection) If he would have sent you a card, or a text, or something for your eyes only, you probably wouldn't have had the same reaction. As it is, it's kind of like claiming you as his, in front of a bunch of people you know. I don't think I would be okay with it either.

L

GettingBy

Oh LTD.... I love you!!! You hit it perfectly!!! That's exactly what it felt like!!!

Thumper

Good for you!!!! That is what it is all about. Letting them go if they are not right for you. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Keep throw'n back till you find your own perfect keeper!T

Tuffgirl

I hope you don't mind us having a little fun at your expense. ; ) It's nice to laugh at the silliness of life and people.

I know I am not ready for the dating scene. I am sure one day I will be, and I will be mighty careful. Until then, I can only live vicariously through others...

dandylion

OH. believe me---I am careful not to put my eggs all in one basket!!

Also, I do not count the chickens before they are hatched! :rotfxko


damdylion

Maylie

At first when I read your post I thought "awwwwww!!! that's so cute!" but then I thought about it and it is a little much after only having one date. I also would not be happy if someone I went on one date with put me in a situation where I had to explain to coworkers, friends, and team mates who that man was.

It sounds like you have been trying to make it very clear to all these men that you are not looking for a relationship. You are focusing on you and on your children and it seems like none of them can get enough! I would probally explain to the guy that you don't feel that was appropriate and he might have a good answer. On the other hand, you can just cut it off and do what feels right to you.

I'm a sucker for things like this, probally what gets me in trouble sometimes though!

Maylie

Maylie

Suddenly I just realized that after saying aw I probally would have been thrown off if he just showed up to the race if you didn't invite him. It is kind of like I got you to go on one date and now even though I wasn't invited i'm going to show up and make sure that everyone and their mother knows i'm there and that i'm there for you.

dandylion

O.K. Gettingby, I think I understand a little more----These are guys who think they have found the "Trophy Girl".

Am I getting warm?

dandylion