Lulu39

He drunkenly makes sure to eat the children's treats after they are in bed. So, when they go to have their treats, there are only enough left so that one of them has to miss out.

Children are now asleep in bed. He has already drunkenly eaten one of their treats, making sure one child has to miss out tomorrow, so now he is drunkenly eating powdered chocolate milk from the can.

Last night he refused to eat the meal I prepared. Said it was "slop", as usual.
However, he later drunkenly staggered out and slobbered and shovelled the children's leftover "slop" down his neck. He was too drunk to realise I was sitting right next to the leftover "slop" and saw him doing it.

I did say: "Why is it OK to eat the slop now when you are drunk and think I am asleep but you refused to eat it earlier?"

He told me to F@#$ off because I was an annoying bitch who has ruined his life.

OK.

I wish I knew when he was leaving. He won't tell me when and I'm not going to ask. I know he has a signed lease which he cannot get out of, so it must be soon.

He hears me typing and keeps stumbling out to try to see what I am typing and to whom. I think he is too drunk to see the URL of this site. He's not very good at sleuthing when he is so freaking drunk and off his face on pot.

choublak

Regardless of what "they all" do or don't do, having this man in your house is damaging to your children.

Lulu39

Really? I hadn't ever thought of that. Such a revelation. And it took YOU to tell me. You must be an extra special human.

Pat yourself on the back won't you.

choublak

Hmm... I guess I just got to a point where I got sick and tired of spending so much of my mental energy trying to figure out why people behave this or that way. No, it's not uncommon for alcoholics to act like children; having said that, there are a lot of immature idiots out there.

And you didn't ruin his life, he did.

dollydo

I have never met one that did not have a sense of entitlement and a real vein of cockyness to boot.

FireSprite

Yes, selfish & entitled seem to be recurring themes. I hope you are rid of him soon, for all of your sanity.

In the meantime, maybe hide the treats for the kiddos someplace his drunken mind won't think to look? I hate it when the kids suffer even from something so seemingly insignificant.

Lulu39

This is a place where I can vent.

This is a a place where I can tell the truth without well meaning others telling me "it's just a phase" blah blah blah blah blah.

I do agree, there are a lot of immature idiots out there...

choublak

Oh it's far from just a phase. It gets worse...

But you know that.

seek

It doesn't really matter "why." You have toxicity in your household. I hope he leaves soon so you and the children can have a healthy environment.

lillamy

Yup. That's typical. When I lived with an A, foods he said he hated (oranges, for example) would magically disappear overnight. He also taught my children to put their own needs last, by purchasing "his" own food and snacks and telling the kids it was "gourmet food that's too expensive for you to eat." True story.

I'm glad you know he IS leaving. I'm sorry you don't know WHEN. Deep breaths. There's light at the end of the tunnel.

Cyranoak

...and when are you going to stop thinking he's going to change? And when are you going to stop leaving the treats where he can find them? Is it some kind of test?

If, as you say, things are obvious to you and you know what you know, then when are you going to turn that knowledge into action? Or, do you just come here to vent with no intention whatsoever to change your life or that of your children?

One thing's for sure-- he isn't going to do it for you and he is in no way near changing. It doesn't really matter what "they" all do-- it matters what yours does.

Cyranoak

choublak

Vent and tell the truth all you want. Nothing changes if nothing changes.

dandylion

Yes, Lulu--a sense of entitlement seems to be universal. Have you read the QUACKERS?

I have heard the term "king baby" tossed around these parts---I think it is an AA term (not sure).

dandylion

Lulu39

Sweetheart I ain't leaving - HE IS.

Unlike many women, I am the money earner in this ****** up marriage with an alcoholic. I have the means to kick him to the curb which is what I have done. He's bought the furniture and signed the lease.

Not being from Gen X and needing immediacy, I have the ability and the $$$ to wait him out. I'm not changing the locks or getting a violence order or calling the cops or doing anything manipulative to remove him from my house. I'm going to be as civilised as I CAN BE. NO matter how he behaves.

[QUOTE=Cyranoak;3556230]...and when are you going to stop thinking he's going to change?

I don't recall ever posting ANYTHING about how I hoped he was going to change LMFAO! Your assumptions are just that, assumptions.

So, you are suggesting I hide food like some codie women hide alcohol? Are you serious?

If I recall correctly, you were the first person to ever reply to my very first post on this forum...of course, that post has been removed.

For goodness sakes, I don't expect or even want him to change. I don't give a fat rat's clacker what he does for the rest of his life.

I'm not some "young girl" "deeply in love" with an alcoholic asshat who wants him to freaking change! Stop putting your pre-conceived notions on me!

If this is the only place I can vent about what a pathetic ******* loser bludger drunk he is while I wait the next few weeks out until he is GONE then I'm a gonna do it! I did think that doing so was OK. If not, I'm sure a mod will set me straight.

Lulu39

Yes. Very, very well. And you, my dear, do not.

You are at the beginning of your journey as a codie, whereas, I am at the end.

Just because I joined this forum toward the end of my codie life with my STBXAH doesn't mean I am a beginner.

I AM AN ENDER.

Learn2Live

Hi Lulu39. Seems you're stuck until he decides to actually leave. Seems also you're angry about it, which I understand. Just want to offer my beliefs about anger and stress. I had a very close friend die at age 60 of cancer. It really got me thinking, and reading, about that disease and others. From what I learned, I formed my own beliefs that stress (which can manifest itself as anger) kills. I believe it contributes to diseases like cancer and heart disease. Venting only goes so far to help. Have you looked into any kinds of stress-busters, like yoga, deep breathing, exercise, EFT, etc?

Hope you're doing OK today.

Lulu39

I have, using various means, found out the date. Not long to go. I can tough it out.

Not so much angry as I am frustrated.

I just want to take that deep breath. KWIM?

I'm sorry about your friend. Maybe that will be me, maybe not. I hope not.

You sound like my boss with all your healthy thinking stuff

I am actually thinking of taking up Karate. My kids train. Another Mother about my age trains. Karate looks more satisfying to me at this point in time than yoga - the thwacking sounds the Karate students make when they whack a punching bag or a pad are strangely satisfying...Tomorrow I am purchasing a punching bag for my kids to use (for me to use too) for their Karate training. OSU.

Learn2Live

This made me laugh. Thanks for that. I have not had much laughter or lightheartedness these past few months.

Jezuz, I hope he moves out when the date comes.

Yeah, I know what you mean about needing the deep breath. I have been living a nightmare for two and a half years and now that the nightmare has gone about 2 months, I am just now beginning to be able to breathe. Just a couple more things to clean up and it will be gone forever, thank God. It just does not understand that I do not want it calling, texting, or visiting me because I need to get my sanity back. It does not know how toxic it is. It wants to be friends and I am just dumbfounded at that.

I am glad you have the financial means to get rid of your toxic person and still take care of yourself and your responsibilities. I once was in a position where I did not have the financial resources to stand on my own two feet (AND I was "helping" TWO drug addicts by giving them $ thousands), and was very dependent. I will NEVER allow myself to be in that position again. It was a hard battle but after many years of sacrifice and hard work, I know I will never have to be ever again.

Oh, and when I am angry, I will take a quick, brisk walk, down to the corner and back, to release the stress. Hope you have fun with the punching bag!!!

RidingHood

My husband and I quit binge drinking for 13 days now and I can tell you at times I could relate to the eating thing. He would drink and drink then finally when he was so hungry from drinking he couldn't stand it anymore he would eat everything in sight leaving a mess and crumbs all over etc. one time he tried eating hand lotion we laughed about it the next day but we are looking back on it and it dont seem so funny the last time we drank he just got all mad for whatever reason and acted like an ass hollering about all kinds of junk just got totally ignorant I left and went to the inlaws stayed there the next day until the evening came home and we haven't had a drop since. We are working on it and that crappy evening gave us an eye opener and things are so peaceful and happy around here I dont think neither one of us want to ruin that its scary getting drunk and acting a fool and not remembering half of it not to mention embarrassing. I often wonder what made him get up every hour all night and eat everything in sight he couldnt even remember eating half that stuff oh and one time he opened up a bag of egg noodles put it in a pan with no water and set it on the stove thank god the knucklehead didn't turn it on. We are enjoying this non binge drinking life but we realize we cant drink again because the binge might start again. I hope things work out for you stay strong!!!

flutter

I grew up in an alcoholic home. Both of my parents were drunks, so I didn't have a sober parent to protect me from the effects of alcoholism. When I read this, I feel the need (from my own experience) to talk about the difference between detaching to a point of apathy and inaction and protecting the kids' feelings, as they don't have a choice but to live with this until your husband is gone. Obviously it's "just treats", and honestly I'm sure my own issues from my past cause this to trigger me a little bit.. I just felt the need to mention that part. I sure hope he's out of there soon so that you and the children can have a more peaceful life, Lulu.