Detachment and suicide threats...
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 2,052
Please continue with Alanon...
...it's there you will learn he is 100 percent responsible for every single thing he says and does, as well as for his life. You'll learn you are 100 percent responsible for you, and you'll learn that if he does kill himself he'll be 100 percent responsible for that too.
You aren't a deity, you are a woman-- a human being-- and you aren't responsible for him at all. He's not your child. He's a grown-ass man.
I strongly suggest that you tell him the next time he threatens suicide you will immediately call the authorities (911 in The States, not sure about where you live). Then, when he tests you and he will, do it. If he isn't bluffing you'll have "helped" him, if it is a bluff he'll knock it the hell off. When I called on my wife it was the last time she every played the suicide card.
Take care,
Cyranoak
You aren't a deity, you are a woman-- a human being-- and you aren't responsible for him at all. He's not your child. He's a grown-ass man.
I strongly suggest that you tell him the next time he threatens suicide you will immediately call the authorities (911 in The States, not sure about where you live). Then, when he tests you and he will, do it. If he isn't bluffing you'll have "helped" him, if it is a bluff he'll knock it the hell off. When I called on my wife it was the last time she every played the suicide card.
Take care,
Cyranoak
Originally Posted by SundayGirl2012 
I took the advice of a few SR folk and went to my first Al-Anon meeting tonight. I was surprised by how much gratitude, and how little anger, there seemed to be. I recognised myself in the sharing of others. Many of them seemed very wise, especially given the things they'd suffered (or perhaps because of the things they'd suffered?).
I think I have a long way to go: I still think I should be a 'good girl' and not cause difficulties for the ABF's wife/daughters/wife's boyfriend/wife's boyfriend's daughter (and while I'm here, I shouldn't cause any uncomfortable feelings among my friends, family, colleagues - anyone at all). And I still think I can help the ABF - a bit. But I'm trying to live as if I don't think those things at all. Hearing from SR folks that I really can't control this stuff is helping me stay focussed and resolved. Thanks for your support, as always.
SG
I think I have a long way to go: I still think I should be a 'good girl' and not cause difficulties for the ABF's wife/daughters/wife's boyfriend/wife's boyfriend's daughter (and while I'm here, I shouldn't cause any uncomfortable feelings among my friends, family, colleagues - anyone at all). And I still think I can help the ABF - a bit. But I'm trying to live as if I don't think those things at all. Hearing from SR folks that I really can't control this stuff is helping me stay focussed and resolved. Thanks for your support, as always.
SG
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