To All Alcoholics
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Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,295
Wow, thanks for all the great replies. I didn't know if this would be well accepted or ...not liked because this thread DOES focus on the alcoholic, or at least how I, and apparently many of you, feel too about the alcoholic., instead of us.
Yes, Cyranoak, you are right as usual, you insightful realist...called me out on it.
I have this fantasy. Yes, yes, I know, these fantasies about the alcoholic are just setting myself up.
The fantasy is that the alcoholic in my life would one day somehow wander over to these boards, and actually read things here.
He doesn't know about this forum or handle, and that's ok. I can have my fantasy anyway.
I have this fantasy. Yes, yes, I know, these fantasies about the alcoholic are just setting myself up.
The fantasy is that the alcoholic in my life would one day somehow wander over to these boards, and actually read things here.
He doesn't know about this forum or handle, and that's ok. I can have my fantasy anyway.
Can I be contrarian about this?
But eventually, underneath it all is a wish for myself to get away from the source of pain. What keeps me here is hope and loyalty, but with your drinking came the loss of "the life, loves, jobs, and people that love you," and I have lost these things too.
I am not at all nostalgic about this struggle. This is a hellish ride.
Sometimes on this forum, it may appear we only want to attack you, belittle you, lash out in our pain, or lift ourselves up above you.
But that's not what is underneath it all...underneath it all is our love for you...and yes, our pain.
But that's not what is underneath it all...underneath it all is our love for you...and yes, our pain.
I am not at all nostalgic about this struggle. This is a hellish ride.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,295
Can I be contrarian about this?
But eventually, underneath it all is a wish for myself to get away from the source of pain. What keeps me here is hope and loyalty, but with your drinking came the loss of "the life, loves, jobs, and people that love you," and I have lost these things too.
I am not at all nostalgic about this struggle. This is a hellish ride.
But eventually, underneath it all is a wish for myself to get away from the source of pain. What keeps me here is hope and loyalty, but with your drinking came the loss of "the life, loves, jobs, and people that love you," and I have lost these things too.
I am not at all nostalgic about this struggle. This is a hellish ride.
It also is too painful to watch sometimes, even when they are passed out, as I mentioned in the original post, seemingly not affecting us at all in that state.
As if that was the only way he could find peace...temporarily obliterating his own mind.
Yes, the cost to us too is great. I'm still white-knuckling my addiction to him, call it love or not...even with no contact.
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 452
This is prolific! Thank you so much for writing this. I try to read this once a day. It just keeps me grounded and puts me in others shoes. It really hits the emotional chords that it needs to in order to drive home the point of how much my drinking would absolutely destroy the ones I love and that love me. It also puts me in the "gratitude" frame of mind to try to help those that I hurt for so long.
I just want to say THANK YOU for writing this. Really, it is truly amazing and is just the perfect message.
I just want to say THANK YOU for writing this. Really, it is truly amazing and is just the perfect message.
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