They dropped the charges against AH - now what???
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 391
They dropped the charges against AH - now what???
I just learned today that the Dist. Atty. decided not to press charges against my AH for criminal threatening and terrorizing. At the end of June AH threatened to make our children parentless by killing me and himself and then broke every dish in the house after I picked up our son who was scared to death because Dad was passed out on the couch and wouldn't wake up. This all happened the day that we discussed getting divorced and after he angrily told me to leave the house so he could be with his boys. My older one refused but the younger one stayed. He was blotto within 2 hours and I came home and picked up my 8 year old son who was in the garage waiting form me during a severe thunderstorm.
I have a protection order in place but it's only temporary. The hearing is on the 31st of this month.
He's currently out of state trying to make money but I can feel his anger.
I've never wanted to take his kids from him but he has clearly been in no state to parent them. He has reported to others that he's not drinking but he's far away and no one knows for sure. If he has stopped, I don't believe he did it for him but just because of the current situation.
What I want is to divorce him, get custody of the kids and maybe have supervised visits until he can get his act together and be a parent. I don't know how to prove how deep into his alcoholism he really is.
He's never had a DUI but there have been a couple of incidents in town where people thought he was drunk. He was a little league coach and was ejected from a game and banned from the fields for 5 games.
I also believe that alcohol was a factor in a recent job loss out of state - a job he took so we could get our lives turned around. He pissed away our money, maxed out our home equity and didn't earn a dime in 6 years. It's been hell.
I feel like I can't breathe.
How can I protect my dear boys from what feels like an impending world war 3?
MamaKit
I have a protection order in place but it's only temporary. The hearing is on the 31st of this month.
He's currently out of state trying to make money but I can feel his anger.
I've never wanted to take his kids from him but he has clearly been in no state to parent them. He has reported to others that he's not drinking but he's far away and no one knows for sure. If he has stopped, I don't believe he did it for him but just because of the current situation.
What I want is to divorce him, get custody of the kids and maybe have supervised visits until he can get his act together and be a parent. I don't know how to prove how deep into his alcoholism he really is.
He's never had a DUI but there have been a couple of incidents in town where people thought he was drunk. He was a little league coach and was ejected from a game and banned from the fields for 5 games.
I also believe that alcohol was a factor in a recent job loss out of state - a job he took so we could get our lives turned around. He pissed away our money, maxed out our home equity and didn't earn a dime in 6 years. It's been hell.
I feel like I can't breathe.
How can I protect my dear boys from what feels like an impending world war 3?
MamaKit
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 1,754
What a huge disappointment that the law seems to trivialize such a traumatic event for you and your children.
I agree with Florence, retain a lawyer, see what your rights are , how to protect your children, a lawyer will be able to help you figure out what incidents are those that can benefit your case.
Also if you are not already sitting with a counselor or in al anon that might be a good idea if you are up for it.
if I were in your situation I would want as much support as possible.
Take good care honey and keep us posted.
love to you Katie
I agree with Florence, retain a lawyer, see what your rights are , how to protect your children, a lawyer will be able to help you figure out what incidents are those that can benefit your case.
Also if you are not already sitting with a counselor or in al anon that might be a good idea if you are up for it.
if I were in your situation I would want as much support as possible.
Take good care honey and keep us posted.
love to you Katie
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 391
Instead of swimming in panic which is what I do - stuck in thought and afraid to act. I called a lawyer. He is someone I know personally and is highly respected.
He made me feel much much better.
He said that the burden of proof for a jury to find guilt for the terrorizing/threatening charge is very strict - beyond a reasonable doubt.
The protection order is issued by a judge, not a jury, and the burden of proof is only that my testimony about the event is more than likely true and that there is a reason to believe my safety is threatened. If I have an advocate from the local domestic violence project, which I intend to do, the chances are even greater I will prevail.
I also called a family member who had offered in the past to help financially with a lawyer if I need it. I overcame my guilt and uneasy feelings about accepting the help and she said, tell me how much, and I will write the check. I have a meeting to file for divorce next week.
Thank you all for your support. Being part of this community has empowered and inspired me. I am learning so much about myself, so much about acronyms and so much about my STBAXH and his awful destructive disease.
I am also going to my first Al Anon meeting tonight and have my 4th appt. with a counselor tomorrow.
ONWARD!!!!
I am breathing again.
MamaKit
He made me feel much much better.
He said that the burden of proof for a jury to find guilt for the terrorizing/threatening charge is very strict - beyond a reasonable doubt.
The protection order is issued by a judge, not a jury, and the burden of proof is only that my testimony about the event is more than likely true and that there is a reason to believe my safety is threatened. If I have an advocate from the local domestic violence project, which I intend to do, the chances are even greater I will prevail.
I also called a family member who had offered in the past to help financially with a lawyer if I need it. I overcame my guilt and uneasy feelings about accepting the help and she said, tell me how much, and I will write the check. I have a meeting to file for divorce next week.
Thank you all for your support. Being part of this community has empowered and inspired me. I am learning so much about myself, so much about acronyms and so much about my STBAXH and his awful destructive disease.
I am also going to my first Al Anon meeting tonight and have my 4th appt. with a counselor tomorrow.
ONWARD!!!!
I am breathing again.
MamaKit
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