My 2 year old son and newborn daughter
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: North West, England
Posts: 500
Also- the dating pool thing?
For me, raising my 2 year old to be the healthiest, most well balanced person I can possibly create is top of the list. Then my program, my own recovery, learning about myself, home, education, family, friends, work etc etc etc. a new relationship doesn't even appear on that list. I f*cked up giving her an addict for a father and putting her through hell for 18 months. The very least I can do is make the rest of her childhood the very very best I can. eg, no bringing new men into her life until she's much older- like a teenager or older. Aside from that I am a crazy raging codependent which needs some (years of) attention. If I walked into a relationship today or next year, I know I wouldn't be walking into a healthy relationship because I'm not healthy right now. Plus I'm still completely in love with my ex unfortunately, I'm hoping that will fade. I left him in October for my daughter's sake, I had to put my own feelings on the back burner.
For me, raising my 2 year old to be the healthiest, most well balanced person I can possibly create is top of the list. Then my program, my own recovery, learning about myself, home, education, family, friends, work etc etc etc. a new relationship doesn't even appear on that list. I f*cked up giving her an addict for a father and putting her through hell for 18 months. The very least I can do is make the rest of her childhood the very very best I can. eg, no bringing new men into her life until she's much older- like a teenager or older. Aside from that I am a crazy raging codependent which needs some (years of) attention. If I walked into a relationship today or next year, I know I wouldn't be walking into a healthy relationship because I'm not healthy right now. Plus I'm still completely in love with my ex unfortunately, I'm hoping that will fade. I left him in October for my daughter's sake, I had to put my own feelings on the back burner.
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
Hello PrettyViolets,
I'm sorry to hear about the placenta previa....my, well, step-daughter-in-law went through the same thing with her last child who is now about 1.5 yo. She was very afraid she would lose the baby at the time. It does sound like you have been through a lot with your health, your mother's health, and your husband's relapse all coming on the heals of one another. I hope all are well and things are improving.
I do respect your decision to stay with your husband because it is your decision to make based on your understanding of the situation. I hope you understand that many people here are reacting to your story because they WERE children who were raised in a household with an active addict or alcoholic and can attest to how much it has affected their entire lives.
One of the most important SR lessons I have learned is that if I say something once, I am sharing my experience. If I say it over and over again, I am trying control someone else's behavior.
Since everyone has had an opportunity to express their concerns, and the likelihood is high for this thread to devolve into arguing, for now it is closed.
I'm sorry to hear about the placenta previa....my, well, step-daughter-in-law went through the same thing with her last child who is now about 1.5 yo. She was very afraid she would lose the baby at the time. It does sound like you have been through a lot with your health, your mother's health, and your husband's relapse all coming on the heals of one another. I hope all are well and things are improving.
I do respect your decision to stay with your husband because it is your decision to make based on your understanding of the situation. I hope you understand that many people here are reacting to your story because they WERE children who were raised in a household with an active addict or alcoholic and can attest to how much it has affected their entire lives.
One of the most important SR lessons I have learned is that if I say something once, I am sharing my experience. If I say it over and over again, I am trying control someone else's behavior.
Since everyone has had an opportunity to express their concerns, and the likelihood is high for this thread to devolve into arguing, for now it is closed.
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