justrae83

Ok so most of you know the story that has been going on with me. Together 6 years, he found a new girlfriend blah blah.

Well all oF you told me that he ws a big fibber and that the new girl wont last and I didnt want to belive you all becuase i was so distrought Well, last night he called me drunk off his ass (he is sober by the way according to him) and said he broke up with the new girlfriend and wanted to know if i could come over. lol

I was like um no, first of all you put me through HELL these past 3months and second your drunk off your ass! DONT CALL ME ANYMORE, i cant take this ****! He is like your right, thats werid huh? dont come over, ill call you back in 10 min. I was like NO. So of course i didnt hear from him untill like 2am this morning saying HEY. grrrrrr

THEN, GET THIS!@@ He texted me this morning asking me if i could take him to his Tax appointment tonight cuz his girlfriend took away his car ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! I didnt even respond. What an ass. OMG I AM still in shock. I havent seen him in 3 months, only text messages from him saying how much he loves his new girlfriend and how there gonna get married and then i get those text and calls. WHAT A MIND FECK!


If that was proof to go absoulutly no contact, i dont know what is.

TakingCharge999

Yes they always show who they are don't they.. we all show who we are by our ACTIONS..

Although those kind of things suck its a great REMINDER that we did not imagine things...

Congratulations on your Day no.1 of No contact

TakingCharge999

(I kind of channeled anvilhead with the caps lock usage lol.. hi anvilhead)

m1k3

I miss my AW the same way I intestinal flu.



Your friend,

itsmylifenow

Your post sounds like you have come to understand and realize that this day was coming.

My question to you is how strong do you feel to truly resist what's going to come next?

I may be wrong, but if he's already come back sniffing around it won't take him much to start the excuses and begging and pleading and of course, the promises of what he will do if you take him back.

This is the moment where it's easy to give in. To listen to him, to see him and get your heart broken all over again.

NO CONTACT - none whatsoever - is SO vital right now for you. If he can't respect your wishes to not contact you in any way then it's up to you to block him from being able to do so.

Believe me when I say I have slipped back into this type of relationship at least a dozen times in the past 6 months. It never got any easier. Never got any better and all the promises I was ever given were made in order to suck me back in.

Hang tough!

SuzyMarie

I second itsmylifenow....be prepared for the heat to get turned up and you need to be strong.

suki44883

I suggest you print out several copies of itsmylifenow's post and put them strategically around your home, one in your car, one or two at work, and read them often. She is spot on as to what to expect from that worm. Hope you stay strong.

gerryP

When he wasn't available you would not go no contact, now that he is seemingly available, you are going no contact? For your own sake Justrae please stop playing games with him and move forward. Absolutely nothing good will come from this.

choublak

Why are you still even answering his phone calls?

TakingCharge999

He seems to be looking for a Mommy, not a partner

I recall when XABF couldn't go buy some appliances by himself

I understand this because often I look for protection/validation from DAD when a partner should be that .. a PARTNER...

I was seeing some movie yesterday and they mentioned how an alcoholic always has his(or her) mouth on a bottle or can as if it was the breast & they are hanging on for dear life

All very toxic...

theuncertainty

I fell in love with this song because it so reminds me of AXH and it helps me remember one reason I'm as done with him as I can be: Momma's Boy by Elizabeth and the Catapult

Pelican

See,
He has already minimized/dismissed what you want, twice in 24 hours. You told him not to call you anymore - and he dismissed what you said and called/texted anyway. You deserve to be treated with respect.

You did good by not answering or replying. Good on you! You will NOT be able to have a resonable, sane conversation with an addicted alcoholic. He will only hear: "blah, blah, blah" when you speak. And when he speaks - it is: "quack, quack, quack"

I agree that he will amp up his attempts to suck you back into his drunken drama. Stand your ground.

You deserve to be treated as an equal partner in a relationship.
You deserve to be heard and respected.
You deserve to be happy.

justrae83

I am standing my ground. I know he is gonna come back full force with attemts to try to win me back, promising me the world and I just cant give in. He already is trying and my phone is going crazy with text and calls from him telling me i am a bitch and blah blah blah

choublak

And it becomes impossible for you to use your own phone for anything, because he's always "on". Time to get another phone, or at least change your number or block his.

LifeRecovery

Rae-

Gently, so now that he has shown you who he really is, what are you going to do for you?

With or without someone else in his life he is still taking up space in your head. It is exhausting putting so much energy outwards to someone else. How are you going to care for you?

gerryP

When is 'No contact' going to begin?

Of course he's going to "try to win you back" Justrae because you are keeping yourself in the wings. When he was living with his gf, you texted him telling him you wanted him back and you are 'surprised' that he's calling on you??? Of course he's contacting you because he's without a current gf (who likely dumped him) and he needs a new Mommy.

Until you can respect yourself, no one else will either.

Marytherboo

I have to agree with the common theme here...it worries me that I have no sense of who you are apart from your reactions to this single person. What kind of plans do you have for yourself that don't involve him? What do you like to do by yourself or with girlfriends? What are your interests, your dreams, your ideas about the woman you are and want to become? How can you focus on those and let the wounds of this toxic relationship heal?

suki44883

If you think we were right before, why are you not taking our advice now? It sounds to me like you are hooked on the drama and until you decide you are done, which it doesn't sound like you truly have, you are more than likely going to give in and be right back in that nightmare again. It's your life, Rae. Control it.

tabatha

That was a pretty quick turn around even for a seasoned A. I hope you are keeping your resolve at this point cause when he gets desperate the pleading will escalate. Then the flattery, then the manipulation, and well- we all know the rest.

SoaringSpirits

Seems like you are hooked on feeling like he's hooked on you. Are you getting some satisfaction from the new flurry of activity?

When you are going to cut this sick cord between you?

You deserve better than this knuckle-dragger.