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Sleeping in separate rooms

Old 03-09-2012, 03:14 PM
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Sleeping in separate rooms

I'm on a roll with the thread starting lately. You all have been so helpful and I'm working on finding a sponsor in real life but I've asked 3 ladies and been turned down. Anyway, my AH and I have been sleeping in separate rooms, his choice not mine. I told him yesterday AM that I miss having him in our bed and he said, "Well, you always get up anyway since I snore and I don't want to bother you." UGH. So, I thought maybe he would come to bed last night but he didn't. He's been very anxious and upset about his DUI which he got 3 weeks ago and I'm sure that's had something to do with it. He also stopped drinking without a program of support. We have not had sex since before the DUI either which is odd for us but I just haven't been in the mood and he's not taking any initiative anyway.
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Old 03-10-2012, 04:49 AM
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Liza... it's funny how perspective can be the bigger issue. You are upset that you are sleeping separately and it is something I WISH for. I get very little sleep or interrupted sleep and to boot: I get crap if I get up to sleep elsewhere... "sigh". I've read all of your posts and I know folks have expressed concern over the fact that your AH isn't working a program and that concerns me too, but I also think that his worry over the DUI is putting the cart before the horse. Maybe his sleeping in another room is his way of compartmentalizing what's happening in his life? IDK... the sex thing is a whole 'nother issue as well... I hope you find some peace soon.
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Old 03-10-2012, 08:09 AM
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Gracie, I hear you on that. When he was drinking a lot his snoring was awful and I wanted him out but now it's much better.

As an update: we had a long talk last night. He wants his family back. He is committing to change despite not having a recovery program. I told him that actions speak louder than words so it's going to take time for me to trust him again. He knows his lies, manipulations, and alcoholic behaviors were crazy making. I still have my wall up and I'm still confronting my anger issues but t least he's not blaming me and is accepting responsibility for his actions. For now, I am keeping the peace, working my own recovery program, and trying my best to live one day at a time.
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