klbutcher

My partner is an alcoholic, I wondered how many of you are T-Total by means of support?

I have been T-Total for 2 years, I am not an alcoholic, I gave up drinking to show support to my other half and must admit I am very happy in my healthy life style and I doubt I would change my ways now but he continues to relapse, keeps drinking and here's me sticking to sobriety 100%.

The way I see it, if we want a future, alcohols not part of it... A choice between him and alcohol, was no choice at all for me.

Ever feel like you give and you give and they take, take, take!!

I stopped enabling my A when he relapsed after rehab but here's me trying to live the life we want and all the while he is leaving his passport in local shops so they will loan him alcohol when he has no money!

sirpher

I will have an occasional drink, probably once every couple of months, but the reasons that I don't drink all that much is independent of my AW drinking. Never had that much alcohol around growing up and a couple of really bad experiences drinking to excess in college formed that pattern early.

ichabod

When my RAH drank, I used to drink a glass or two of wine in the evenings. I love red wine. When he quit, I didn't feel right drinking around him so I pretty much stopped. These days, I may have a dozen drinks over the course of a year when I'm on vacation or out with friends.

He didn't ask me to stop and sometimes says that he feels bad that I feel like I shouldn't drink around him. It was my decision and I'm cool with it.

Florence

It was when I made a choice to cut back on my own drinking that it was revealed that my RAH had a problem. It wasn't hard to quit drinking around him, which I chose to do out of solidarity.

We have a "gentleman's agreement" that if I drink when I'm out that I don't tell him about it and don't bring it home (i.e. don't smell like it, don't come home drunk). He just doesn't want to know, and drunkenness is upsetting/triggering for him. When I do drink, it's just a couple of glasses of wine, no biggie. The truth is that it isn't as fun a social lubricant for me now that I've seen what it can do to people.

akrasia

Yeah, after having to deal with a crazy alkie, I've found that alcohol has lost its charm. I've never been a big drinker anyway--it just puts me to sleep--so I just don't have it now. Who knows, maybe later I'll change my mind.

Noodler

How lucky was my RAH that I didnt drink!! Havent drank for 15 years, it just tailed off after having the kids etc.

But made nooooooooo diff atall to my RAH drinking as he only gave up again 6 wks ago after 3rd relapse in 2 years!

In fact I was convinced it only made it worse, as it was that attitude, "well I have to drink in secret because you dont drink and you dont like it or like in the house ", used it as an excuse to drink and I also blamed myself for that for years!!!! LOL what an idiot I was.