I am not one of you..
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 15
Originally Posted by choublak 
I would be asking where were you for the past 20 years...
I also have a serious question for you, did you "fake recovery" in the past? To get your wife and others off of your back?
You don't have to answer that if you don't want to, but pretending you are in recovery is no better than "breaking out in handcuffs", IMHO.
I also have a serious question for you, did you "fake recovery" in the past? To get your wife and others off of your back?
You don't have to answer that if you don't want to, but pretending you are in recovery is no better than "breaking out in handcuffs", IMHO.
I never actually said "I'm in trouble I need help," until 11/23/2011.
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
I did not fully understand the damage and havoc I created within my family while I was actively using/drinking until I ended up with an alcoholic/addict daughter. That was a real eye-opener for me.
Now with the passing of 17+ years of the same old same old from her, the damage is irreparable as far as us ever having a close relationship again. She will always be my daughter, and I will always love her. That's as far as it goes.
There comes a point where a loved one realizes that too much damage has been done, and regardless of the intent of the alcoholic, there's just nothing left to repair. The loved one has no more to give in the relationship.
In regard to my daughter, stick a fork in me because I'm done.
Don't have expectations of your wife or children. That's unfair.
Now with the passing of 17+ years of the same old same old from her, the damage is irreparable as far as us ever having a close relationship again. She will always be my daughter, and I will always love her. That's as far as it goes.
There comes a point where a loved one realizes that too much damage has been done, and regardless of the intent of the alcoholic, there's just nothing left to repair. The loved one has no more to give in the relationship.
In regard to my daughter, stick a fork in me because I'm done.
Don't have expectations of your wife or children. That's unfair.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 15
Originally Posted by Freedom1990
I did not fully understand the damage and havoc I created within my family while I was actively using/drinking until I ended up with an alcoholic/addict daughter. That was a real eye-opener for me.
Now with the passing of 17+ years of the same old same old from her, the damage is irreparable as far as us ever having a close relationship again. She will always be my daughter, and I will always love her. That's as far as it goes.
There comes a point where a loved one realizes that too much damage has been done, and regardless of the intent of the alcoholic, there's just nothing left to repair. The loved one has no more to give in the relationship.
In regard to my daughter, stick a fork in me because I'm done.
Don't have expectations of your wife or children. That's unfair.
Now with the passing of 17+ years of the same old same old from her, the damage is irreparable as far as us ever having a close relationship again. She will always be my daughter, and I will always love her. That's as far as it goes.
There comes a point where a loved one realizes that too much damage has been done, and regardless of the intent of the alcoholic, there's just nothing left to repair. The loved one has no more to give in the relationship.
In regard to my daughter, stick a fork in me because I'm done.
Don't have expectations of your wife or children. That's unfair.
Not an expectation just a hope that my family isn't to the point you are.
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,426
Hello River13, and congratulations on your recovery. Those first few weeks are the hardest.
One of the fundamentals of recovery, in whichever program you choose, is to focus on your self. I don't know if you noticed, but you have received some wise suggestion from other people who are also recovering alcoholics.
Should you wish to reach out to others you have harmed then there are professionals that can help you with that; Marriage counselors, therapists, shrinks, members of the clergy, etc.
SoberRecovery does not provide any kind of professional advice, and the members can only share their personal experience.
We have several other forums that you may find useful.
Newcomers to Recovery - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Alcoholism - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Alcoholism-12 Step Support - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
As your original question has been answered, and the conversation is becoming circular, I am closing this thread.
Mike
Moderator, SoberRecovery
One of the fundamentals of recovery, in whichever program you choose, is to focus on your self. I don't know if you noticed, but you have received some wise suggestion from other people who are also recovering alcoholics.
Should you wish to reach out to others you have harmed then there are professionals that can help you with that; Marriage counselors, therapists, shrinks, members of the clergy, etc.
SoberRecovery does not provide any kind of professional advice, and the members can only share their personal experience.
We have several other forums that you may find useful.
Newcomers to Recovery - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Alcoholism - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Alcoholism-12 Step Support - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
As your original question has been answered, and the conversation is becoming circular, I am closing this thread.
Mike
Moderator, SoberRecovery
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