She's gone.....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: WA
Posts: 38
She's gone.....
I'm new here...posting anyway. I've been reading and reading everything I can, so I thought I would post something. My wife is recovering (what a difference) from alcohol. She's beautiful and alert...what great combo for her.
But somewhere in the rehab, she reported marital strain to the counselors. The only strain I knew was our financial and her pulling away with the drink. She notified me, she wanted to seperate for awhile....is this normal? The 3 week rehab, first week she sounded better and better until the second and third week. The last two weeks she got more distant and cold. What is covered in rehab, how to leave your worries behind and get away from responsibilies? For the last two years Ive been doing the cooking, cleaning, and whatever school for the kids throws at me. I've been supporting her through everything...but I have to admit getting close to her intimately was impossible with the smoking and drinking on her breath. And sometimes not even come up stairs to bed...found her a couple of times outside slumped over the computer passed out as I go to work. She's been gone now for 4 weeks.... a long time. My tears, anger, frustration, fear....you name it...are getting the better of this tough guy. While I tried to post earlier, my cell phone rang and it was her (I lost my previous post). This was the first time we comunicated in 4 weeks! I lost it...right away like I'm doing now thinking about it. I love her voice and I love her face....everything. Not much was said except me saying "I love you" and meeting somewhere to talk. She said she knows I love her and she's still workin' out somethings. My anxiety is through the roof right now. Do I protect myself and the kids legally and run for cover? Should I plan for the worst or hope for the best? And, again, what was it in rehab that got her to isolate herself from kids and me? My dreams have her, I roll over expecting her to be their....but she's not. God, I'm tired of feeling alone, even with my families support. I hope someone has an answer or two.....this really sucks. What should I do?
She's gone, but I want my wife and best friend back!
But somewhere in the rehab, she reported marital strain to the counselors. The only strain I knew was our financial and her pulling away with the drink. She notified me, she wanted to seperate for awhile....is this normal? The 3 week rehab, first week she sounded better and better until the second and third week. The last two weeks she got more distant and cold. What is covered in rehab, how to leave your worries behind and get away from responsibilies? For the last two years Ive been doing the cooking, cleaning, and whatever school for the kids throws at me. I've been supporting her through everything...but I have to admit getting close to her intimately was impossible with the smoking and drinking on her breath. And sometimes not even come up stairs to bed...found her a couple of times outside slumped over the computer passed out as I go to work. She's been gone now for 4 weeks.... a long time. My tears, anger, frustration, fear....you name it...are getting the better of this tough guy. While I tried to post earlier, my cell phone rang and it was her (I lost my previous post). This was the first time we comunicated in 4 weeks! I lost it...right away like I'm doing now thinking about it. I love her voice and I love her face....everything. Not much was said except me saying "I love you" and meeting somewhere to talk. She said she knows I love her and she's still workin' out somethings. My anxiety is through the roof right now. Do I protect myself and the kids legally and run for cover? Should I plan for the worst or hope for the best? And, again, what was it in rehab that got her to isolate herself from kids and me? My dreams have her, I roll over expecting her to be their....but she's not. God, I'm tired of feeling alone, even with my families support. I hope someone has an answer or two.....this really sucks. What should I do?
She's gone, but I want my wife and best friend back!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 204
If you haven't been through a rehab experience with your spouse before, it's rather hard to deal with because you don't know what to expect. I think many of us feel a huge sense of relief when they first go, like, "yes! My spouse went to rehab and now it's all going to be okay!" and then, unfortunately, you realize it's not going to be that simple. First of all, she's not drinking which is causing her to have to deal with all kinds of problems and emotions that she hasn't been dealing with. Also, she's in a place where she is being encouraged to talk about her feelings ALL DAY which dredges up all kinds of stuff. You are also set up to be disappointed because you are kind of expecting her to come back all better, I imagine, and that is going to take so much time, if it even lasts outside of rehab. Who knows what is going to happen at this point?!
You have to try and relax a little and take it one day at a time. Hard to do, I know, but just step back a little and let her get through rehab without being all "what about us!?" and stressing her out about her relationship with you. Take some time out for yourself while she is away if you can. When she comes home there will likely be a lot to discuss.
You have to try and relax a little and take it one day at a time. Hard to do, I know, but just step back a little and let her get through rehab without being all "what about us!?" and stressing her out about her relationship with you. Take some time out for yourself while she is away if you can. When she comes home there will likely be a lot to discuss.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 6,262
I'm so sorry about what is a heartbreaking experience.
Perhaps I can help you by sharing my own experience getting sober 20 years ago. My first 90 days felt like 24 hour/day PMS in a full moon. There were so many mood swings I thought I was going nuts. People expect someone to put down alcohol and everything will be fine ... no, it's not like that. Getting sober is a process that, unfortunately, take quite a bit of time. For me it was years.
After drinking a long time to suddenly stop is the biggest change I've ever had to deal with. There are all these emotions, see, and I drank so I didn't have to deal with them. Welcome to life with no anesthesia. Imagine going to sleep in your bed and waking up in Egypt where everyone is speaking a foreign language. Add to that everything else is different as well. In AA's Big Book Bill Wilson points out that drinking is but a symptom of alcoholism, which is so true. I had to work to change inside so I could stay sober.
I'm not suggesting that you pity your poor wife or anything. Part of growing up (getting sober) is learning that we are responsible for our actions and words. And, that actions have consequences we must deal with.
As a Codie I'll suggest deciding how long you are prepared to wait before taking action to deal with an absent wife. Pain aside, you have children to deal with. Then tell her, set the boundaries. Understand that there is nothing you can say or do that will make your wife become the person you want her to be. Above all, take care of yourself and the rest of your family. You deserve the life you want and can't go on allowing anyone else to adversely affect it.
Al-anon would be enormous help right now.
Perhaps I can help you by sharing my own experience getting sober 20 years ago. My first 90 days felt like 24 hour/day PMS in a full moon. There were so many mood swings I thought I was going nuts. People expect someone to put down alcohol and everything will be fine ... no, it's not like that. Getting sober is a process that, unfortunately, take quite a bit of time. For me it was years.
After drinking a long time to suddenly stop is the biggest change I've ever had to deal with. There are all these emotions, see, and I drank so I didn't have to deal with them. Welcome to life with no anesthesia. Imagine going to sleep in your bed and waking up in Egypt where everyone is speaking a foreign language. Add to that everything else is different as well. In AA's Big Book Bill Wilson points out that drinking is but a symptom of alcoholism, which is so true. I had to work to change inside so I could stay sober.
I'm not suggesting that you pity your poor wife or anything. Part of growing up (getting sober) is learning that we are responsible for our actions and words. And, that actions have consequences we must deal with.
As a Codie I'll suggest deciding how long you are prepared to wait before taking action to deal with an absent wife. Pain aside, you have children to deal with. Then tell her, set the boundaries. Understand that there is nothing you can say or do that will make your wife become the person you want her to be. Above all, take care of yourself and the rest of your family. You deserve the life you want and can't go on allowing anyone else to adversely affect it.
Al-anon would be enormous help right now.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 16
I wish I had gone to Al-Anon when my spouse was getting sober. But I thought he was the only one who needed to change and when he quit drinking life would be fine and dandy! (I can hear everyone chuckling)
I needed to deal with my codependent stuff and the anger and resentment I held on to. Unfortunately I didn't realize that until it was too late. Al Anon has helped me understand so many things about our relationship and my actions and reactions and I'm a healthier person today because of it.
Excuse me for giving direct advice but try 6 different Al Anon meetings.
I needed to deal with my codependent stuff and the anger and resentment I held on to. Unfortunately I didn't realize that until it was too late. Al Anon has helped me understand so many things about our relationship and my actions and reactions and I'm a healthier person today because of it.
Excuse me for giving direct advice but try 6 different Al Anon meetings.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 696
Yes, it's all a real big bummer. I understand. Been there done that.
When mine came home from rehab after 28 days, he loved me alot.
3 Weeks later, he packed up a bag and moved 2,000 miles away.
Left me standing at the back door. My whirlwind got bigger. Dropped
me to my knee's.
It's been almost a year now, and he is still drinking and still hasnt moved back.
At first I thought it was all me...But with the help of Alanon, I have
learned it is called, alcoholism: and he is the only one that can fix
it. Not me..
Alanon Classes is the best thing you can do for yourself! It's free...
It's what saved me. It's what made me understand, sometimes
you just have to let go.
Keep on reading and educating yourself about alcoholism. It will
help you alot to understand it all..Someday's there just isnt an answer
and somedays there is...
My heart goes out to you, it really does....
Buck up and find a class as soon as you can!!!
When mine came home from rehab after 28 days, he loved me alot.
3 Weeks later, he packed up a bag and moved 2,000 miles away.
Left me standing at the back door. My whirlwind got bigger. Dropped
me to my knee's.
It's been almost a year now, and he is still drinking and still hasnt moved back.
At first I thought it was all me...But with the help of Alanon, I have
learned it is called, alcoholism: and he is the only one that can fix
it. Not me..
Alanon Classes is the best thing you can do for yourself! It's free...
It's what saved me. It's what made me understand, sometimes
you just have to let go.
Keep on reading and educating yourself about alcoholism. It will
help you alot to understand it all..Someday's there just isnt an answer
and somedays there is...
My heart goes out to you, it really does....
Buck up and find a class as soon as you can!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: WA
Posts: 38
Wow, I'm speechless. You all are great, thank you. I'll try Al-Anon, my neighbor even said today she would go with me (they have a recoverying son). Man, I....(tears again)...you all are very helpful. I keep a stiff upper lip and encourage my kids to talk....maybe even call her...I know she misses them. I'll keep busy and do my best. Thanks to the bugs, owl and one cool boat! I'll be back and stay in touch.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: europe
Posts: 624
Hi Sail and wellcome.
Sorry you're going through all this. Maybe this is not something you want to hear but to me your wife needing some time alone sounds like quite possibly a positive thing, as to me it sounds that she's working on her recovery and for that, for whatever reason, she needs some time alone. I think it is a good sign she wants to figure out things on her own.
In the same time I believe the best you can do is use this time you're separated to figure out some things on your own, (not only that you love her and miss her) but what you want out of life for yourself and what is acceptable for you and what is not.
Most of us tend to lose ourselves in our relationships with As, I most certainly did, and from what you sound like it seems to me that you are too. IMHO if you are to have a healthy meaningful relationship with your wife ever again, you need to work on yourself as much as she has to do the same thing.
So maybe try looking at the things from other perspective, maybe try taking this as time where you'll both do some growing separately. She might stay sober or not, no one can predict that, but right now she seems to be working on it, so the best you can do for both your sakes is let her do what she needs to do. And since she is doing it anyways, instead of feeling miserable and abandoned use this time to make yourself better.
I know you love her and miss her, but life is based on more practical things than that.
The only person you can change is you, once you change yourself for the better, life tends to follow.
So my point: even though it doesn't feel so, this might be a possitive thing, give it a chance and make the best of it. Breath and take it one step at the time.
Hope this doesn't come as harsh, that wasn't my intention, just wanted to share what I've learned from my own experience.
Take care
HUGS
Sorry you're going through all this. Maybe this is not something you want to hear but to me your wife needing some time alone sounds like quite possibly a positive thing, as to me it sounds that she's working on her recovery and for that, for whatever reason, she needs some time alone. I think it is a good sign she wants to figure out things on her own.
In the same time I believe the best you can do is use this time you're separated to figure out some things on your own, (not only that you love her and miss her) but what you want out of life for yourself and what is acceptable for you and what is not.
Most of us tend to lose ourselves in our relationships with As, I most certainly did, and from what you sound like it seems to me that you are too. IMHO if you are to have a healthy meaningful relationship with your wife ever again, you need to work on yourself as much as she has to do the same thing.
So maybe try looking at the things from other perspective, maybe try taking this as time where you'll both do some growing separately. She might stay sober or not, no one can predict that, but right now she seems to be working on it, so the best you can do for both your sakes is let her do what she needs to do. And since she is doing it anyways, instead of feeling miserable and abandoned use this time to make yourself better.
I know you love her and miss her, but life is based on more practical things than that.
The only person you can change is you, once you change yourself for the better, life tends to follow.
So my point: even though it doesn't feel so, this might be a possitive thing, give it a chance and make the best of it. Breath and take it one step at the time.
Hope this doesn't come as harsh, that wasn't my intention, just wanted to share what I've learned from my own experience.
Take care
HUGS
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 16
Just after catching up on this thread I went to another site and read this:
“The only reason we don't open our hearts and minds to other people is that they trigger confusion in us that we don't feel brave enough or sane enough to deal with. To the degree that we look clearly and compassionately at ourselves, we feel confident and fearless about looking into someone else's eyes. ”
― Pema Chödrön
I know I wouldn't be as far in my recovery if my H was living with me.
― Pema Chödrön
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: FL
Posts: 63
I'm saddened by your story and your heartache..
I also "misunderstood" what his recover would mean for me. As i waited for that new beginning it was actually just continuing chapters. My RXAH (now social drinker) and I still stand on opposite sides. Him not understanding the extent of what his addiction has done and I not understanding his addiction.....
Please take care of yourself and your kids... not doing that is what i regret the most...
I also "misunderstood" what his recover would mean for me. As i waited for that new beginning it was actually just continuing chapters. My RXAH (now social drinker) and I still stand on opposite sides. Him not understanding the extent of what his addiction has done and I not understanding his addiction.....
Please take care of yourself and your kids... not doing that is what i regret the most...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: WA
Posts: 38
Thanks for the good advice...I do believe you all are correct, as tough as it feels recieve. I was afraid of it also. It felt like I would be giving up on her if I did those things...giving her space, let her do her thing. I wish I knew where and what she is doing.....or who she is with. These hurt because we havent been apart this long and she feels ok with it. Does make sense to just call and leave a message from time to time? Or would this be intruding? I feel I screwed up by holding all my sick time and vacation for after she was out just to....whatever she needed. It use to be that I wanted to hug her now I want her to squeeze me and console ME. Selfish, I do need to find myself, huh? Love is more painful than I ever imagined, maybe a growing point. But I dont want, at this point, to get use to her being gone. Thanks again... y'all do help!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 49
Sail,
Hugs to you! I'm going through something very similar and I feel your pain.
My A left three and a half months ago. One day, 2 months ago, he asked me for a break in the relationship to focus on his recovery. It was only then that I realized my codie ways. The pain I felt was excruciating. My heart ached for him so deeply that it physically took my breath away. I couldn't eat, sleep, focus at work, carry out my day-to-day responsibilities. My life was circling the drain. Quickly. I spent the first week staring at my phone, willing for him to call me. I fought the urge to contact him and found that when I did, I got a short reply in return. My misery drove me straight to Al-Anon and I couldn't be more grateful.
My ABF is trying to save his life and is going through things that I can't even begin to understand or relate to. He is finding sobriety and has made the decision to pull away from this relationship right now because this is something he feel conducive to his recovery. And that's okay. I cannot criticize or judge him for making that decision, just because it feels uncomfortable (or miserable!!) to me. I'm still grieving for him and the possibility that we may never reunite. I will cross that bridge if/when that happens, for there is today to deal with. If HP does bring us together again, my A would certainly not like what he finds in the mess of a person I currently am. It would do him no good to be with me right now; nor I with him in his early recovery. But most importantly, I cannot live with myself this way and I need to focus on my recovery for ME. I don't know what will be, but I do know that I never want to feel like this again. I never want to lose myself and feel completely enmeshed and codependent ever again. I want peace. I want serenity. I want to know that I will be emotionally healthy on my own accord. I realized that I could not control his drinking, and I cannot control what he feels is right for him in recovery. What I CAN do is to do my best every day and take care of myself. I'm learning to laugh again and I find that I have moments where I'm actually able to stop obsessing about him and live in the moment. And it feels great. Granted, those moments are few and far between but they are starting to happen. I can find hope in that.
Your wife is trying to relearn how to live a sober life. I wish the best for the both of you and your children. Please be gentle with yourself and allow yourself to feel what you need to feel at this time. It's a process and it will get better.
Hugs to you! I'm going through something very similar and I feel your pain.
My A left three and a half months ago. One day, 2 months ago, he asked me for a break in the relationship to focus on his recovery. It was only then that I realized my codie ways. The pain I felt was excruciating. My heart ached for him so deeply that it physically took my breath away. I couldn't eat, sleep, focus at work, carry out my day-to-day responsibilities. My life was circling the drain. Quickly. I spent the first week staring at my phone, willing for him to call me. I fought the urge to contact him and found that when I did, I got a short reply in return. My misery drove me straight to Al-Anon and I couldn't be more grateful.
My ABF is trying to save his life and is going through things that I can't even begin to understand or relate to. He is finding sobriety and has made the decision to pull away from this relationship right now because this is something he feel conducive to his recovery. And that's okay. I cannot criticize or judge him for making that decision, just because it feels uncomfortable (or miserable!!) to me. I'm still grieving for him and the possibility that we may never reunite. I will cross that bridge if/when that happens, for there is today to deal with. If HP does bring us together again, my A would certainly not like what he finds in the mess of a person I currently am. It would do him no good to be with me right now; nor I with him in his early recovery. But most importantly, I cannot live with myself this way and I need to focus on my recovery for ME. I don't know what will be, but I do know that I never want to feel like this again. I never want to lose myself and feel completely enmeshed and codependent ever again. I want peace. I want serenity. I want to know that I will be emotionally healthy on my own accord. I realized that I could not control his drinking, and I cannot control what he feels is right for him in recovery. What I CAN do is to do my best every day and take care of myself. I'm learning to laugh again and I find that I have moments where I'm actually able to stop obsessing about him and live in the moment. And it feels great. Granted, those moments are few and far between but they are starting to happen. I can find hope in that.
Your wife is trying to relearn how to live a sober life. I wish the best for the both of you and your children. Please be gentle with yourself and allow yourself to feel what you need to feel at this time. It's a process and it will get better.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Litchfield Park, AZ
Posts: 319
Sail48, lots of good advice about Al-Anon from the other posters...and I'm glad to see you're planning on trying it. I call it "a gentle healing program," but I also think that it's a process, not a cure. It's more like a marathon than a race, more a journey than a destination.
I can relate to that feeling of anxiety. When my wife was in rehab, I was lucky that her treatment center was fairly close to where I worked and I was able to keep in touch. And I attended family week, went to a couple of group therapy sessions, went to family therapy, and even a couple of one on one marriage counseling sessions. (Alcoholism really is a family disease).
With the help of a counselor, I talked to my wife, honestly, for the first time in a long time. After that session, I was terrified that I'd said the wrong things, that I'd made her angry, that I'd made her sad. The next 24 hours consumed me with anxiety. The next day I told the counselor about my fears. She laughed it off and said "You can't break her." And I didn't...but I felt that feeling of anxiety many times over the next several months. My anxiety started to go away as I learned to not make my wife's feelings my business. I think it's a codependency thing. (Look it up). Al-Anon helped me with that. It can help you too, if you're willing to work at it. Best of luck my friend.
I can relate to that feeling of anxiety. When my wife was in rehab, I was lucky that her treatment center was fairly close to where I worked and I was able to keep in touch. And I attended family week, went to a couple of group therapy sessions, went to family therapy, and even a couple of one on one marriage counseling sessions. (Alcoholism really is a family disease).
With the help of a counselor, I talked to my wife, honestly, for the first time in a long time. After that session, I was terrified that I'd said the wrong things, that I'd made her angry, that I'd made her sad. The next 24 hours consumed me with anxiety. The next day I told the counselor about my fears. She laughed it off and said "You can't break her." And I didn't...but I felt that feeling of anxiety many times over the next several months. My anxiety started to go away as I learned to not make my wife's feelings my business. I think it's a codependency thing. (Look it up). Al-Anon helped me with that. It can help you too, if you're willing to work at it. Best of luck my friend.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: WA
Posts: 38
I tried 3 different times to go...I have a schedule posted above my computer. Every time, though, a school meeting (parent/ teacher) popped up, and another called from college and I lost track of time. I'll try....it just seems something plops itself in front of my plans...
Now, the sad part. I called my RAW a couple of days ago and we had a normal conversation. She sounded great but still didnt have a job. Told her to dont give up, it tough all over......she said she loves me. What an awesome feeling! The day after that call, to tell her about what the kids are up to (sports and college stuff) and she tells me I have to forget about her! WTF?!
My daughter and boys (twins) decide we'll go and show her love, caring and respect for her recovery efforts. We put a limit we would stay of a max of 1 hour...we didnt want to push it. She was visiting her mom so we are familiar with the area and know how long it would take.The distance we travelled is a about 110 miles. I was hoping she would feel "... you guys do love and care for me". We had a good talk about what and how we would approach her.
We got there and naturally the boys had to "go" so they jumped out of the truck and went straight in. I composed myself and walked with my daughter into the house. She met us at the door with a smile on her face, kind of nervous like. I put my arms out to give her a hug....she pushed my arms down gently. My daughter had a strange look on her face...I looked over my wifes shoulder and there is a guy sitting on the sofa watching TV..... "we gotta talk" she said. Before we got to a quiet place to talk, I already had visions of knocking every F'n tooth out of his head. He's a "friend" from rehab.
My God!!!! Who is this guy? Is he touching, kissing, hugging my WIFE?!? God the flood gates opened for me along with questions without answers. She proceeds to tell me she wants a divorce. The bottom just drops away from me after that. She makes it sound like this is ok, that its not cheating its healing. Two people on the rebound....hooking up? I started thinking beyond his teeth after that. He knows she's married! And its OK? God....my poor kids! They saw him and were in shock..... Where do I go from here? I feel lost and hung over from the crying we all did yesterday....its unbelievable... a lot of crying. With all this going on we figured it out...her mom was feeding us BS this whole time about what she was doing and kept us in the dark. Her mom (grandma) ..... will be out of my life now.... Not a good day. Sorry for the bad vibe...I want hope for everyone.....just tough to find for me.
Now, the sad part. I called my RAW a couple of days ago and we had a normal conversation. She sounded great but still didnt have a job. Told her to dont give up, it tough all over......she said she loves me. What an awesome feeling! The day after that call, to tell her about what the kids are up to (sports and college stuff) and she tells me I have to forget about her! WTF?!
My daughter and boys (twins) decide we'll go and show her love, caring and respect for her recovery efforts. We put a limit we would stay of a max of 1 hour...we didnt want to push it. She was visiting her mom so we are familiar with the area and know how long it would take.The distance we travelled is a about 110 miles. I was hoping she would feel "... you guys do love and care for me". We had a good talk about what and how we would approach her.
We got there and naturally the boys had to "go" so they jumped out of the truck and went straight in. I composed myself and walked with my daughter into the house. She met us at the door with a smile on her face, kind of nervous like. I put my arms out to give her a hug....she pushed my arms down gently. My daughter had a strange look on her face...I looked over my wifes shoulder and there is a guy sitting on the sofa watching TV..... "we gotta talk" she said. Before we got to a quiet place to talk, I already had visions of knocking every F'n tooth out of his head. He's a "friend" from rehab.
My God!!!! Who is this guy? Is he touching, kissing, hugging my WIFE?!? God the flood gates opened for me along with questions without answers. She proceeds to tell me she wants a divorce. The bottom just drops away from me after that. She makes it sound like this is ok, that its not cheating its healing. Two people on the rebound....hooking up? I started thinking beyond his teeth after that. He knows she's married! And its OK? God....my poor kids! They saw him and were in shock..... Where do I go from here? I feel lost and hung over from the crying we all did yesterday....its unbelievable... a lot of crying. With all this going on we figured it out...her mom was feeding us BS this whole time about what she was doing and kept us in the dark. Her mom (grandma) ..... will be out of my life now.... Not a good day. Sorry for the bad vibe...I want hope for everyone.....just tough to find for me.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
OUCH for you and your kids. I am so sorry. But even sorrier to say this seems to be a commonplace for many in early recovery.
Prayers to you and your kids today. They must be really confused. Be there for them as best you can, given your own pain.
Stay strong!
~T
Prayers to you and your kids today. They must be really confused. Be there for them as best you can, given your own pain.
Stay strong!
~T
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 68
My heart goes out to you and your children... you even managed to bring tears to my eyes.
There is nothing anyone can tell you to make it better. Just take one day at a time. Be there for the children. How old are they?
There is nothing anyone can tell you to make it better. Just take one day at a time. Be there for the children. How old are they?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: WA
Posts: 38
My kids....they've been great to me! My daughter is 20, a serious, budding artist....she's amazing! The boys are twins with a wit and looks to match...they are 17.
Ya, I know that words can't help much....thanks for being here. My life right now kinda feels like that scene in Castaway where Tom Hanks is telling his friend that he lost his girl all over again. I gotta go do something now...I'l be back later. Thanks again....and yes I'll keep moving.
Ya, I know that words can't help much....thanks for being here. My life right now kinda feels like that scene in Castaway where Tom Hanks is telling his friend that he lost his girl all over again. I gotta go do something now...I'l be back later. Thanks again....and yes I'll keep moving.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
That was breathtakingly self-centered of her to parade some guy in front of all of you. Yeesh!
I'm sorry for the pain you feel now, but as someone whose husband had an affair and divorced her, it gets better. I know it doesn't feel that way now, but it does and it will.
Take good care of yourself!
I'm sorry for the pain you feel now, but as someone whose husband had an affair and divorced her, it gets better. I know it doesn't feel that way now, but it does and it will.
Take good care of yourself!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: europe
Posts: 624
So sorry you're going through this.
My heart goes out to your and your kids.
You did your best. Nothing else you can do but take care of yourself and your kids.
One step at the time. The happier times will come.
HUGS
My heart goes out to your and your kids.
You did your best. Nothing else you can do but take care of yourself and your kids.
One step at the time. The happier times will come.
HUGS
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 696
I hope you keep posting and get yourself into Alanon and maybe even
a personal counselor (who is trained in addiction)....
Crap buddy, that is alot to handle, but guess what..Your not alone!
We have all gone thru it, one way or another....
No other words, except I know, it really sucks the breath out of you
Trust me, your wings will get strong again and you will fly..
Might not feel that way today, but you will.....
a personal counselor (who is trained in addiction)....
Crap buddy, that is alot to handle, but guess what..Your not alone!
We have all gone thru it, one way or another....
No other words, except I know, it really sucks the breath out of you
Trust me, your wings will get strong again and you will fly..
Might not feel that way today, but you will.....
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
