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Just A Thought I need some in-put

Old 10-13-2011, 09:59 PM
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Just A Thought I need some in-put

After Leaving my e.x.a.b.f. been gone now almost 7 months, I have often pondered on this question.. Can they live with the opposite sex who has an addiction??? Not only does my ex have alcohol dependency, he also has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder.
So I often wondered if the opposite sex, that had a addiction put up with him.
I know it sounds stupid for me to wonder about this or maybe it isn't.
Hugs and I so appreciate the support here
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Old 10-13-2011, 10:14 PM
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Sherby,

I think that they can live with anyone that they can get something from, I don't think it matters when you are an addictive personality. I think these people are parasitic by nature.

Just remember THERE ARE NO STUPID QUESTIONS!

Hugs back to you,

Bill
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Old 10-13-2011, 10:38 PM
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Sure they can live together. The real question is, "is it healthy?"

Hugs...
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Old 10-14-2011, 06:43 AM
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Many persons with bipolar, make RISKY or impulsive choices, have irrational thinking, promiscuity, and a whole slew of other issues. I have a daughter who is bipolar, so well familiar with this topic. There is no alcohol or drugs involved.. but many bipolars will attempt "self medicating" with drugs/ booze. Does not work, but that's not the point. They are at much higher risk. If they happen to walk away from alcohol, they still have the underlying medical issue that can be treated.
Unstable persons are going to be attracted to other unstable people. Just as alcoholics knowingly surround themselves with other alcoholics (as a form of enabling). Its a fast and easy way to avoid facing that there is a huge problem. Two drunks can often be superficially happy with each other. It's when one of them chooses to get sober that the differences become glaring.
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Old 10-14-2011, 08:30 AM
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I can vouch for what searchbug said. I was with me ex partner for 9 years - we are both alcoholics. While I would not say that we had a good relationship for the 7 years we drank together, we both made the other feel 'normal'. The relationship itself was chaotic - we were argumentative and splitting up constantly, but always got back together. When I chose recovery for myself, the relationship became impossible for me....and him as well. I could no longer deal with his behaviour, and he could not bear the fact that I was sober as it 'mirrored' his shortcomings, and he could no longer blame everything on my drinking. In the end, I finished with him as I knew to stay would mean to drink again. How I stuck it for 2 years with him when I was newly sober I will never know! I have now been clean for over 5 years, he is still drinking/drugging, still hanging around with inferior company, still immature, getting into fights, and has a new gf who has historically partnered addicts. I do not envy them their relationship. He is unable to place another human being before his next drink/drug, and how can that bring happiness?
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Old 10-14-2011, 11:39 PM
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yes!

Originally Posted by Willybluedog View Post
Sherby,

I think that they can live with anyone that they can get something from, I don't think it matters when you are an addictive personality. I think these people are parasitic by nature.

Just remember THERE ARE NO STUPID QUESTIONS!

Hugs back to you,

Bill
I agree ..they use people as objects for their agenda.
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Old 10-14-2011, 11:40 PM
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well said!

Originally Posted by searchbug View Post
Many persons with bipolar, make RISKY or impulsive choices, have irrational thinking, promiscuity, and a whole slew of other issues. I have a daughter who is bipolar, so well familiar with this topic. There is no alcohol or drugs involved.. but many bipolars will attempt "self medicating" with drugs/ booze. Does not work, but that's not the point. They are at much higher risk. If they happen to walk away from alcohol, they still have the underlying medical issue that can be treated.
Unstable persons are going to be attracted to other unstable people. Just as alcoholics knowingly surround themselves with other alcoholics (as a form of enabling). Its a fast and easy way to avoid facing that there is a huge problem. Two drunks can often be superficially happy with each other. It's when one of them chooses to get sober that the differences become glaring.
So true when one gets sober and changes that upsets the whole dynamic!
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