I can vouch for what searchbug said. I was with me ex partner for 9 years - we are both alcoholics. While I would not say that we had a good relationship for the 7 years we drank together, we both made the other feel 'normal'. The relationship itself was chaotic - we were argumentative and splitting up constantly, but always got back together. When I chose recovery for myself, the relationship became impossible for me....and him as well. I could no longer deal with his behaviour, and he could not bear the fact that I was sober as it 'mirrored' his shortcomings, and he could no longer blame everything on my drinking. In the end, I finished with him as I knew to stay would mean to drink again. How I stuck it for 2 years with him when I was newly sober I will never know! I have now been clean for over 5 years, he is still drinking/drugging, still hanging around with inferior company, still immature, getting into fights, and has a new gf who has historically partnered addicts. I do not envy them their relationship. He is unable to place another human being before his next drink/drug, and how can that bring happiness?