m1k3

Since I have control issues (duh) and am working on giving up the illusion of control I decided to make a list of what I could and couldn't control.

I gave up on the couldn't control list because the list would be never ending.

So I started working on a list of things that I truly have control over:

So far after 3 days I have come up with only one thing. Which I will post later.

Anyone else want to take a shot at this?

Have fun.

TeM

What I have for breakfast.

laurie6781

Sure, roflmao

The only person or thing I have 'control' over, or ........................ the only person I can change is .................................................. ........................


ME


lol

I would suspect that is what is on your list.

Love and hugs,

lillamy

You mean after

1. the weather
2. the economy
3. major league baseball?

(Good reminder, Mike. Thanks.)

m1k3

Actually it turned out to be a subset of me.

I can't control all sorts of things about me like the color of my eyes and how tall I am and in my case my weight.

I can't even control my thoughts and emotions. I can't just chose to feel joy or serenity. Thoughts bubble up with out an effort on my part. I know because when I meditate by counting breaths all sorts weird stuff pops out out nowhere.

So far as i can tell the only thing I can control is how I choose to react to what is happening around and within me.




And I'm not even sure about that one.

stepsforward

Control over ME - I have to work on this everyday.

Pelican

Something I recently tried to amplify the sound of my breaths. I did this in the pool, but it can be done in a bathtub.

Float on you back with the back of your head under water. When your ears are under water, the sound of your breath is amplified. Now I can visualize that sound and try to improve my focus (when out of water)

I agree with you Mike,

I can only control how I react.

gowest

When I can truly control how I react, I will definitely put up a huge new thread!
I'm still working on this one

m1k3

Thanks for that hint, I'll give it a try.

I often do my counting breaths in bed as a prelude to falling asleep. And like I said some times some really weird stuff pops out. I'd love to know where it comes from.

Your friend,

fineday69

The company I keep.

m1k3

but only if they chose to keep company with you, so still outside your control.

My goal was to find something that I had complete control over. Even the breakfast response is still dependent of what was available to eat. I may have really wanted pineapple but none was available.

I've been doing this for 3 days and it is totally humbling to realize how little you really have control over. This can be very liberating or unsettling depending on how you look at it.

fineday69

You are correct, I guess I better do some more thinking =)

Tuffgirl

Mike, I'm with you these days. The only control I really have is how I choose to react to things daily. The more I pay attention to the goings-on around me and within me, the more I realize there isn't much else I can truly control.

TeM

Well, if you think of it in a Cosmic sense, we have control over nothing. I think some religions actually teach this, and I've heard that the acceptance of it brings great peace.

outonalimb

Great thought to ponder today...thanks Mike.

Its very scary and very humbling to recongize what little control we really have in life.

m1k3

I was shocked though. When I started this mental exercise I expected the list to be small, but a list of 1.

Mavis1

How I react in certain situations.
what I eat
how I decorate my house
what I chose to purchase/not purchase
What I wear/how I dress
what I feed my cat
how I chose to see the cup (1/2 empty or 1/2 full)
my daily gratitude list
my sh*t list (lol)
my conduct at work

and the list goes on. basically I could have summed it up like others: ME I do have control over me BUT I remind myself every day I do not have control over anyone else/anything else, it's a humbling experience knowing this and it's comforting that I don't HAVE to CONTROL anything anymore. FREEDOM.

peace, m

Kindeyes

I can control much of me.....but that doesn't mean I do it well. lol

m1k3

Did you notice that all the things you can control has to do with your choices or reactions ( another choice actually) .

You can't control people, places and things. And one of the things you can't control is yourself. You can't control you height or eye color or even thoughts and emotions. If we could we would all think happy thoughts and have serene, happy, joyous and other good emotions only.

Out of this whole entire universe all we can control is our choices.

Just freakin wow.


I spotted one thing on the list I would question. And that is what you choose to feed your cat. Your cat has a say in whether it chooses to eat it.

skippernlilg

Mike,

Thank you for posting this. I talked to my brother from my FOO today, and we actually talked about this. He would be an ACOA just as much as I am!

What my answer is in being in the spot I am today, is the only thing I really have control over is my attitude. I am not trying to be Pollyanna about it at all. It is truly the only thing I have control over. The 'reaction' thing, in my book, is bunk only because I recently chose not to react at all to anything until I've thought about it, and I have found that no reaction at all is becoming a better tack for me.

When someone else talked about the company they keep and you said that it would depend upon their choice of your company, see, I'm thinking we would only want to be with people who want to be with us anyway, so is it the chicken or the egg? LOL

So my answer is also a subset of myself: my attitude. (which totally sucked yesterday, but we're not talking about yesterday here, which is very nice)