are there happy endings?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 2,052
Hi Rose...
The answer to your question is yes and no. Sometimes yes, and sometimes no.
That said, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter at all. Your situation is your situation and it will have it's end one way or another. You can't control him at all, not one bit, and you know this from 13 years of trying.
You can, however, control you. Being here on this forum is one of the ways you've begun to do so, and to learn ways to live that will help you be happier. A next step I HIGHLY recommend, and that works for me, is to try six Alanon meetings, some different, and see if it works for you. Alanon are meetings for people affected by the drinking of others. They are not for him, they are for you.
Will he get better? Maybe, maybe not, and only if he really, really wants to do so.
Will you get better? I believe you will.
Take what you want and leave the rest.
Cyranoak
That said, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter at all. Your situation is your situation and it will have it's end one way or another. You can't control him at all, not one bit, and you know this from 13 years of trying.
You can, however, control you. Being here on this forum is one of the ways you've begun to do so, and to learn ways to live that will help you be happier. A next step I HIGHLY recommend, and that works for me, is to try six Alanon meetings, some different, and see if it works for you. Alanon are meetings for people affected by the drinking of others. They are not for him, they are for you.
Will he get better? Maybe, maybe not, and only if he really, really wants to do so.
Will you get better? I believe you will.
Take what you want and leave the rest.
Cyranoak
Originally Posted by rose68 
I am new to this and debated for over a week about posting, somehow to ask for help would mean I am weak,(in my mind). Me and my husband have been married for 13 years and he has always drank some, but lately the drinking has increased. He comes from an alcoholic family and most of my family would rather die than drink. I drink a couple of times a year. We have talked and argued about his drinking, and then just slip back into the old routine.
But a couple of weeks ago we were at a nondrinking event and I was having a really nice time and he said he couldnt wait till we left so he could have a beer. I was very disappointed. Then two weekends ago on a Friday we had an arguement about something trivial and he grab a beer so I went to my room and spent the next couple of days meditating and taking care of me. He spent 3 nights on the couch drinking alot. First time in 13 years he has ever not come to bed with me. the following Tuesday I told him I was starting to go to Al-Anon because I needed it for me. I told him that I would not be around him if he drank more than 3 in a day. It has been over a week and he has not drank more than three a day, some days less.
I would like for him to quit but know he has to do that for him, scared for him to do it cold turkey, I don't know how to talk to him about it cause I don't want him to think I am pushing. I guess what I am asking is does it ever work out? I am working my program and working on fixing me and he knows if he has the forth one I will go away to spend time away from him and I know he is really trying. Just don't want to fall back into same old routine. Thanks for any advice you can give, I have already got so much from this site.
But a couple of weeks ago we were at a nondrinking event and I was having a really nice time and he said he couldnt wait till we left so he could have a beer. I was very disappointed. Then two weekends ago on a Friday we had an arguement about something trivial and he grab a beer so I went to my room and spent the next couple of days meditating and taking care of me. He spent 3 nights on the couch drinking alot. First time in 13 years he has ever not come to bed with me. the following Tuesday I told him I was starting to go to Al-Anon because I needed it for me. I told him that I would not be around him if he drank more than 3 in a day. It has been over a week and he has not drank more than three a day, some days less.
I would like for him to quit but know he has to do that for him, scared for him to do it cold turkey, I don't know how to talk to him about it cause I don't want him to think I am pushing. I guess what I am asking is does it ever work out? I am working my program and working on fixing me and he knows if he has the forth one I will go away to spend time away from him and I know he is really trying. Just don't want to fall back into same old routine. Thanks for any advice you can give, I have already got so much from this site.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
