LaTeeDa

And at that point, the question became, why do I think I need him? I'm doing everything I would be doing if I was a single parent. Plus I'm doing more because I'm cleaning up after a grown man.

L

pixilation

yes, what sillysquirrel said. When we first moved into this house, guess who installed both new screen doors herself? Guess who always installs the AC units, repairs the screens, replaced the old entry door, etc. That's right, me.

GettingBy

BINGO.

I was so tired of waiting for stuff to get done... so I did it myself. And the more I started to just take care of stuff... the more I became "controlling" in his mind. Ah, I was living like a single parent just like LTD said...

and then it occurred to me...

If I'm going to be a single parent, shouldn't I get the benefits of it too?!?! Ie. A quiet, calm and peaceful house free of a selfish, alcoholic partner!!!


P.S. I fixed so many leaky toilets, light switches, replaced light fixtures, faucets... etc. And THEN, I was told that doing that emasculated him!! Uh, no, you NOT doing it emasculated yourself.

sillysquirrel

Exactly...damned if you do, damned if you don't.

I took out the garbage to the end of the driveway. "R"AH "forgot". I was told that I was a "Man Wannabe". He also said all I am missing is a **** and if I could grow one of those, I would have it made. He is very insecure of my abilities to do almost everything around the house. These are not abilities I was born with, rather, I have learned to do them out of necessity. This may be stereotypical, but many jobs I do, I feel that he, as the "man" of the house, should take care of. He won't help, but gets mad at me if I take care of it

I fixed the leaky faucet.....he didn't know how.

I replaced the belt on the vacuum cleaner......he said it was beyond repair and we need a new one.

I brought in an extension ladder to replace the bulbs on our vaulted ceiling. He can reach them with a stool, but I can't. He refused to do it.

Our septic tank was overflowing in the backyard. I said, "I think we have a problem". He said, "Ahhh, just wait a few days. The ground will eventually absorb it." This was one of our biggest arguments. I dismissed him and called someone to come out and pump the tank. Turns out the filter that he said he cleaned hadn't been cleaned for over a year.

I am not controlling. I am responsible, reliable, and resourceful.

LaPinturaBella

Sounds to me like YOURS (non-existent as it is) is ALREADY bigger than his.

sillysquirrel

HaHa, thank you for that. Maybe that is why he is so insecure.

In regards to that comment, though.....I found it to be one of his more disgusting rambles. Funny how it is so clear in my mind....some things you just don't forget. His words disgust me. And they don't seem to really mean anything to him.

bruingirl

Hahaha I can TOTALLY relate to this post! I got this same controlling nonsense. They act like a child and can't handle themselves. And then the funny thing is, when you say something like that in response to the argument they bring about us being controlling, they don't want to hear any of it! And then they just end up going to their own pity party about how we are implying that they are idiotic and child-like and unable to handle themselves. And then us being "bossy" is an excuse for everything else they do. Sad and angry but unwilling to share with us about why? It's cause you're bossy. Talking to some other girl? It's cause you're bossy. Got drunk today? It's cause you're bossy.


WELL HELLO! Face the reality buddy! Look at the way YOU ARE ACTING! But they can't. Their reality is so delusional it is really completely unfathomable...

bruingirl

Also, xabf and I had conversations many a time about how I had bigger b***s than him as well hahahaha. And that I was the "man" so you are not alone in getting that/ feeling like that. But probably the truth. He's incapable of handling any sort of emotion or stress well anyway..