Had to call the sheriff's today
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 756
Had to call the sheriff's today
Ah was home, after working graveyard, and working his way thru a 12 pack, and unpacking $100+ worth of fishing gear(he told me the cost, I'm sure to goad me)
youngest was sleeping in the highchair(which he does, he'll eat his lunch and then sleep in the chair, he's a bit weird that way) so I hopped into the shower. 8yo was sitting on the computer(he stayed home, said his ear hurt) When I got out, youngest was standing on the freezer, dumping one of ah's empties out onto the freezer. I asked ah why he let DS out of the highchair, and he started going off. Just way more than was necessary in the situation. I hurried and got myself dressed, then started getting the kids dressed to leave as it was obvious that we needed too, ah had lost all control of himself. I tried explaining to him(futile, I know) that the kids could not stay in the house with him when he was that drunk, it wasn't appropriate at all. First Ah blocked 8yo from getting his socks and shoes on(after I had told him too)then, as I went to get youngest to get his jacket on, Ah picked him up, and wouldn't put him down. I told him I would call 911, and I did. I called, walked away a bit to talk to the dispatcher(and find my shoes) and as I was talking, he did put DS down, and we left.
met the deputies at the school(to pick up oldest) I did tell them that nothing happened this time, that I removed us from the situation before it could escalate. One deputy was a jerk, asking "why did you bother calling" um..I was scared for my youngest son? Nothing came of calling of course, because nothing physical happened, but it did help me get the kids out safe and sound.
So, looks like I will be calling in the morning about apartments(and the abuse crisis center, work on my safety/out plan) and working out something with the school where I meet the bus in a town half way from the big city to here, for the next month until school is out. I am back at the house now that I'm off of work, the kids stayed with my sister while I was there. I'm moving more stuff out to my car even tonight(I had my emergency bag, but I had forgotten to check it in awhile).
so, yeah, that was my afternoon and evening today.
youngest was sleeping in the highchair(which he does, he'll eat his lunch and then sleep in the chair, he's a bit weird that way) so I hopped into the shower. 8yo was sitting on the computer(he stayed home, said his ear hurt) When I got out, youngest was standing on the freezer, dumping one of ah's empties out onto the freezer. I asked ah why he let DS out of the highchair, and he started going off. Just way more than was necessary in the situation. I hurried and got myself dressed, then started getting the kids dressed to leave as it was obvious that we needed too, ah had lost all control of himself. I tried explaining to him(futile, I know) that the kids could not stay in the house with him when he was that drunk, it wasn't appropriate at all. First Ah blocked 8yo from getting his socks and shoes on(after I had told him too)then, as I went to get youngest to get his jacket on, Ah picked him up, and wouldn't put him down. I told him I would call 911, and I did. I called, walked away a bit to talk to the dispatcher(and find my shoes) and as I was talking, he did put DS down, and we left.
met the deputies at the school(to pick up oldest) I did tell them that nothing happened this time, that I removed us from the situation before it could escalate. One deputy was a jerk, asking "why did you bother calling" um..I was scared for my youngest son? Nothing came of calling of course, because nothing physical happened, but it did help me get the kids out safe and sound.
So, looks like I will be calling in the morning about apartments(and the abuse crisis center, work on my safety/out plan) and working out something with the school where I meet the bus in a town half way from the big city to here, for the next month until school is out. I am back at the house now that I'm off of work, the kids stayed with my sister while I was there. I'm moving more stuff out to my car even tonight(I had my emergency bag, but I had forgotten to check it in awhile).
so, yeah, that was my afternoon and evening today.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 756
thanks, I can't find my emergency 4gb memory card, so I'm burning files to dvd right now. I grabbed important paperwork, still have to find my license though, but I have my picture id card at least.
Of course, he blamed me, he called my sister after I left, and she could barely understand him, but he was saying that "she blew everything out of proportion". Of course, putting the blame on me, again.
Of course, he blamed me, he called my sister after I left, and she could barely understand him, but he was saying that "she blew everything out of proportion". Of course, putting the blame on me, again.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 696
Sorry to hear that. That crap sucks!!
Im glad to hear that your using your head & following your heart
on what is best for you and the kids!
Thank Goodness you didnt forget to pack your Alanon tools!
Chin Up & Chest Out...You can do it!!
Im glad to hear that your using your head & following your heart
on what is best for you and the kids!
Thank Goodness you didnt forget to pack your Alanon tools!
Chin Up & Chest Out...You can do it!!
Hwdcarver
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: St. Louis, Missouri
Posts: 54
Safty first is you of course!!!!!
Pix, You did an amazing job of handling that whole situation!!:ghug3 Now the most important part of you plan is in front of you and you have it mapped out fairly well, sounds like to me. Follow tru now , no turning back!!! Remember it's for you kids & yourself....... Be safe, and Ill say a prayer for you and the kids.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,888
When you're done you know it and now you know it.
Sometimes, we have the presence of mind to look up and see the freight train coming at us and the sheer self preservation to just step out of the way for once.
It is a sign of our health and sanity. Only the unhealthy and irrational minds stand in front of the train believing that this time it will somehow jump the tracks and go around us. Really, a train, go around, yeah right!
I was that person as things began escalating with my XABF. It was an overt threat of physical abuse that woke me up and got me to recovery, but I tell you it wasn't so dramatic when I decided to leave. In fact, it was just one small straw later that broke it for me. Finally I stepped off the damn train tracks.
I applaud you for just saying no to the argument, saying no more to the behavior, and saying no not this time and just walking the other way without regret and guilt. May seem like the obvious decision now, and it should seem that way, but it probably didn't look that way at one point not too long ago. It boggles me that I was that way, too.
Deep breaths. It does get sticky from here on in, but you are on a trajectory now that is healthy and sane and you can see it through!!
Hang in there!
Alice
Sometimes, we have the presence of mind to look up and see the freight train coming at us and the sheer self preservation to just step out of the way for once.
It is a sign of our health and sanity. Only the unhealthy and irrational minds stand in front of the train believing that this time it will somehow jump the tracks and go around us. Really, a train, go around, yeah right!
I was that person as things began escalating with my XABF. It was an overt threat of physical abuse that woke me up and got me to recovery, but I tell you it wasn't so dramatic when I decided to leave. In fact, it was just one small straw later that broke it for me. Finally I stepped off the damn train tracks.
I applaud you for just saying no to the argument, saying no more to the behavior, and saying no not this time and just walking the other way without regret and guilt. May seem like the obvious decision now, and it should seem that way, but it probably didn't look that way at one point not too long ago. It boggles me that I was that way, too.
Deep breaths. It does get sticky from here on in, but you are on a trajectory now that is healthy and sane and you can see it through!!
Hang in there!
Alice
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 3,095
Pix-
It sounds to me like you did the absolute best you could given the circumstances. You are a loving, caring mom and you were smart to call 911 and get yourself and the kids out of there asap.
I'm so sorry you had to go through this.
Take a deep breath and don't feel you need to figure out the future today--- just take it one hour at a time if need be.
Thinking of you...
It sounds to me like you did the absolute best you could given the circumstances. You are a loving, caring mom and you were smart to call 911 and get yourself and the kids out of there asap.
I'm so sorry you had to go through this.
Take a deep breath and don't feel you need to figure out the future today--- just take it one hour at a time if need be.
Thinking of you...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 756
Just wanted to update quick...
Okay, moving is still probably going to have to wait until after school ends, oldest has major issues with high school, and in order to hopefully get his diploma in 4 years, it would be best for him to continue at his current school, for 2 classes, and then start summer school at the new district.
I haven't really talked to him at all, the kids and I have been staying out of the house while he's here. tomorrow he has the day off, so I will be talking to him a bit. I haven't gone to the DV center to go over an exit plan, because I have had oldest son with me.
I AM still going to leave the house with the kids anytime he decides to get drunk while they are awake(and if he starts ranting while they are asleep, I will be taking them then too) It is now just completely unacceptable for me to have happen, it's like something snapped in me. On Tuesday, I guess what really got my blood boiling and reminded me we needed to leave was he started talking about his sex life(or lack thereof) to 8yo DS. It was really at that point that I said "let's go".
And I AM still going to be moving out next month. There just isn't enough time for it to happen for right now, mostly in regards to my oldest son's schooling, I wish I could make everything would fall into place for me to make it happen now, it's just not working.
Okay, moving is still probably going to have to wait until after school ends, oldest has major issues with high school, and in order to hopefully get his diploma in 4 years, it would be best for him to continue at his current school, for 2 classes, and then start summer school at the new district.
I haven't really talked to him at all, the kids and I have been staying out of the house while he's here. tomorrow he has the day off, so I will be talking to him a bit. I haven't gone to the DV center to go over an exit plan, because I have had oldest son with me.
I AM still going to leave the house with the kids anytime he decides to get drunk while they are awake(and if he starts ranting while they are asleep, I will be taking them then too) It is now just completely unacceptable for me to have happen, it's like something snapped in me. On Tuesday, I guess what really got my blood boiling and reminded me we needed to leave was he started talking about his sex life(or lack thereof) to 8yo DS. It was really at that point that I said "let's go".
And I AM still going to be moving out next month. There just isn't enough time for it to happen for right now, mostly in regards to my oldest son's schooling, I wish I could make everything would fall into place for me to make it happen now, it's just not working.
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