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Healty Relationship?

Old 03-22-2011, 01:52 PM
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Healty Relationship?

Ok. So, everyone here can tick off all of the qualities of an unhealthy relationship. Right?
Since I'm going to be single again soon (not that I'll be ready for a relationship for a long time) What are some qualities of a good relationship? Things that we should look for
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Old 03-22-2011, 01:53 PM
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Effective Communication
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Old 03-22-2011, 01:58 PM
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I have NO frakking idea, so I'll be watching this too.
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Old 03-22-2011, 02:02 PM
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Communication
Honesty
Respect
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Old 03-22-2011, 02:17 PM
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Originally Posted by suki44883 View Post
Communication
Honesty
Respect
Yes. These and then that gives you...

Trust
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Old 03-22-2011, 02:19 PM
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RESPECT

I think everything else good stems from that, in all relationships, not just romantic ones.
If your friend/partner/spouse/co-worker/boss/lover/date/sibling/parent/child/acquaintance/etc respects you, and you respect them, then working out some of the bumps/hiccups elsewhere is doable - because both parties respect each other.

I like suki's list.
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Old 03-22-2011, 02:19 PM
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If you see I didn't quite finish my last sentence above. Sneaking posting behind my AH's back definatley not a healthy quality! lol
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Old 03-22-2011, 02:23 PM
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Well, just for my personal list, I would definitely add sense of humor. I have to have someone who can make me laugh. That, too, can help get over some rough spots.
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Old 03-22-2011, 02:30 PM
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clean pee tests? j/k - sorta
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Old 03-22-2011, 02:31 PM
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Well, if we're going to talk about personal lists, I have to have someone who "gets" my nerdiness. Doesn't have to like everything I do, but some joint likes would be nice.
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Old 03-22-2011, 02:35 PM
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Personal list:
Humble
Excellent Work Ethic
Not afraid to get dirty
Likes to Hunt/Fish/Get outside
Healthy in both spirit and body
Long-term planner and thinker
Humorous and able to understand dry humor
Patience
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Old 03-22-2011, 02:36 PM
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This is good! all good stuff! its nice to be focusing on the positive rt now!
Keep it coming1 I have a lifetime's worth of healthy behavior to learn!
Pretend you are teaching a foreign language! I'm sure this will help a lot of people!

For me.. Someone who see's me shine and doesn't try to put out my light!
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Old 03-22-2011, 02:38 PM
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Well, shellcrusher, I only possess a couple of those qualities on your list.
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Old 03-22-2011, 03:55 PM
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Originally Posted by suki44883 View Post
Well, shellcrusher, I only possess a couple of those qualities on your list.
Yeah but you got the 3 biggies in your first post. After that comes hobbies and interests.
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Old 03-22-2011, 04:18 PM
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Something healthy to look for is do you find yourself able to be you in the relationship or do you find yourself being what you think the other person wants you to be?
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Old 03-22-2011, 04:24 PM
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Um...

ahh..... um. Well, ah.

Dang it.

Cyranoak

P.s. You might start by focusing on having a healthy relationship with yourself, as an independent and single person. When you are done with that, maybe you won't need to know what a healthy relationship with somebody else looks like. Maybe you'll already know?
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Old 03-22-2011, 04:44 PM
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Someone here posted this and it hit home so much that I am now living by it-in a good relationship you do not complete each other--you complement each other. I loved this. We do not need other people to complete us. We need to complete ourselves and whoever we decide to get involved in a relationship with-of any sort--needs to be complete and not use you to complete them.

Complement each other--I thought that was a great way to put it.
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Old 03-22-2011, 05:15 PM
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If your in a recovery program within a
marriage with family, kids, and since
everyone is affected by our drinking or
drug addiction, everyone having some
sort of program to work themselves is
a plus to a healthy happy family unit.

I grew in my AA program leaving my
family of 25 yrs. scratching their head
as to what happened in our little family.

What happened was I spoke the language
of recovery in the family and they spoke
normal language. It was like talking to different
languages with no one understanding a word
each other said.

Im blessed with a second marriage where
recovery is important to the 2 of us. We
are both from long term marriages and
love to travel on our Road King.

Communication, trust and honesty is important.

An NO secrets. Honesty in all our affairs make
a wonderful healthy life.
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Old 03-22-2011, 06:45 PM
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I could answer a big list...openness, communication, honesty being some, but really, part of our life's work is to define this for ourselves.

Even though we are wonky from years of partnering with an A, we have that wisdom within. We just need to find it!
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Old 03-22-2011, 08:38 PM
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Emotional intimacy is key. Without that you can't have a healthy relationship.

The ability to communicate (including non-verbal) on an emotional level with your partner.

I read this last night and learned stuff!

Emotional Intimacy
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