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-   -   Healty Relationship? (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/friends-family-alcoholics/222856-healty-relationship.html)

starlight40 03-22-2011 01:52 PM

Healty Relationship?
 
Ok. So, everyone here can tick off all of the qualities of an unhealthy relationship. Right?
Since I'm going to be single again soon (not that I'll be ready for a relationship for a long time) What are some qualities of a good relationship? Things that we should look for

Shellcrusher 03-22-2011 01:53 PM

Effective Communication

pixilation 03-22-2011 01:58 PM

I have NO frakking idea, so I'll be watching this too.

suki44883 03-22-2011 02:02 PM

Communication
Honesty
Respect

Shellcrusher 03-22-2011 02:17 PM


Originally Posted by suki44883 (Post 2906931)
Communication
Honesty
Respect

Yes. These and then that gives you...

Trust

StarCat 03-22-2011 02:19 PM

RESPECT

I think everything else good stems from that, in all relationships, not just romantic ones.
If your friend/partner/spouse/co-worker/boss/lover/date/sibling/parent/child/acquaintance/etc respects you, and you respect them, then working out some of the bumps/hiccups elsewhere is doable - because both parties respect each other.

I like suki's list.

starlight40 03-22-2011 02:19 PM

If you see I didn't quite finish my last sentence above. Sneaking posting behind my AH's back definatley not a healthy quality! lol

suki44883 03-22-2011 02:23 PM

Well, just for my personal list, I would definitely add sense of humor. I have to have someone who can make me laugh. That, too, can help get over some rough spots.

headheldhigh 03-22-2011 02:30 PM

clean pee tests? j/k - sorta

pixilation 03-22-2011 02:31 PM

Well, if we're going to talk about personal lists, I have to have someone who "gets" my nerdiness. Doesn't have to like everything I do, but some joint likes would be nice.

Shellcrusher 03-22-2011 02:35 PM

Personal list:
Humble
Excellent Work Ethic
Not afraid to get dirty
Likes to Hunt/Fish/Get outside
Healthy in both spirit and body
Long-term planner and thinker
Humorous and able to understand dry humor
Patience

starlight40 03-22-2011 02:36 PM

This is good! all good stuff! its nice to be focusing on the positive rt now!
Keep it coming1 I have a lifetime's worth of healthy behavior to learn!
Pretend you are teaching a foreign language! I'm sure this will help a lot of people!

For me.. Someone who see's me shine and doesn't try to put out my light!

suki44883 03-22-2011 02:38 PM

Well, shellcrusher, I only possess a couple of those qualities on your list. :lmao

Shellcrusher 03-22-2011 03:55 PM


Originally Posted by suki44883 (Post 2906982)
Well, shellcrusher, I only possess a couple of those qualities on your list. :lmao

Yeah but you got the 3 biggies in your first post. After that comes hobbies and interests. :lmao

duqld1717 03-22-2011 04:18 PM

Something healthy to look for is do you find yourself able to be you in the relationship or do you find yourself being what you think the other person wants you to be?

Cyranoak 03-22-2011 04:24 PM

Um...
 
ahh..... um. Well, ah.

Dang it.

Cyranoak

P.s. You might start by focusing on having a healthy relationship with yourself, as an independent and single person. When you are done with that, maybe you won't need to know what a healthy relationship with somebody else looks like. Maybe you'll already know?

HoopNinja 03-22-2011 04:44 PM

Someone here posted this and it hit home so much that I am now living by it-in a good relationship you do not complete each other--you complement each other. I loved this. We do not need other people to complete us. We need to complete ourselves and whoever we decide to get involved in a relationship with-of any sort--needs to be complete and not use you to complete them.

Complement each other--I thought that was a great way to put it.

aasharon90 03-22-2011 05:15 PM

If your in a recovery program within a
marriage with family, kids, and since
everyone is affected by our drinking or
drug addiction, everyone having some
sort of program to work themselves is
a plus to a healthy happy family unit.

I grew in my AA program leaving my
family of 25 yrs. scratching their head
as to what happened in our little family.

What happened was I spoke the language
of recovery in the family and they spoke
normal language. It was like talking to different
languages with no one understanding a word
each other said.

Im blessed with a second marriage where
recovery is important to the 2 of us. We
are both from long term marriages and
love to travel on our Road King.

Communication, trust and honesty is important.

An NO secrets. Honesty in all our affairs make
a wonderful healthy life. :)

FindingPeace1 03-22-2011 06:45 PM

I could answer a big list...openness, communication, honesty being some, but really, part of our life's work is to define this for ourselves. :)

Even though we are wonky from years of partnering with an A, we have that wisdom within. We just need to find it!

Babyblue 03-22-2011 08:38 PM

Emotional intimacy is key. Without that you can't have a healthy relationship.

The ability to communicate (including non-verbal) on an emotional level with your partner.

I read this last night and learned stuff!

Emotional Intimacy


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