3betrayed

Please disregard my optimistic, pie-in-the-sky last post. Just a few hours after posting that, I discovered my AH has been swigging Nyquil.

And the nightmare continues... I'm back sitting on the fence: Do I stay, or do I go?

transformyself

Forgive me for forgetting how long ago you found out about the affair but for me, I needed a good year and a half before the triggers from the affair, and the desperation to believe he really did love and want me gave way to self preservation.

Just be kind to yourself-and by that I mean keep reminding yourself that you will be happy without him too.

Eight Ball

Sorry to hear that, hope your OK.

Sitting on the fence is OK you know. You don't have to make your mind up about anything if you are not ready to. Keep reaching out, posting and reading, you will know what to do and when you are ready to do it. Everything I have ever heard or read says that its best not to make any serious decisions during a roller coaster period. Get onto steady ground and make a rational decision that you can live with. That make sense to me.

SSIL75

I'm trying to understand who your grandson's mother is. Is that someone related to you? Or maybe your son's girlfriend?

Anyway I would not be able to get over that. It's like figuring out you've been married to a completely different person

EDV

I found out three days ago that while my husband of 10 years was in Brooklyn , NY. He got so drunk, blacked out and woke up the next morning with his pants off in some other strangers/woman's bed. He says he doesn't remember anything except being at the bar. When he woke up the woman turned around and he asked he where he was and what happened. She told him that he was in her apartment and that they "kinda had sex". He quickly ran out of her apartment and caught a cab back to his hotel. I have seen him blackout before but usually at home. I am so hurt. I am not 100% sure that he doesn't remember anything. We have never had a problem in our marriage and I know it sounds cliche but I know he would never do this intentionally. I am so hurt and I don't know what to do. Can I forgive him? Should I forgive him? Is it really possible for him to be blacked out for such a long period of time?

Hammer

Hi EDV,

First, Welcome to SR.

Just noticed you posted this. The thread itself is a couple years old. Maybe start a new one, and we can chat your stuff in particular?

You know how to start a new topic?

No real wise advice, other than to start to get some help for YOU. You know about Alanon?

formyboys

I did not realize that step 4 had a sexual inventory included....explains a lot since my "XRAH" was major into AA and his steps...but stopped at step 3, right when he started his "other relationship"...hmmm..