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Never knew anyone addicted...now my family has three

Old 11-21-2010, 04:23 PM
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Never knew anyone addicted...now my family has three

My son is in rehab spent his 23 birthday in detox...working on his recovery 2 weeks tomorrow sober

I joined another dicussion board to help with his addiction which is to oxys...

I'm now here because my husband of 5 years is an alcholoic. He hid it well when we first met....or I didn't recognize it because I had never known one.

After our first year of marriage it became real to me. His parents died within 22 days of each other....and downhill it went. Started drinking everynight 12-18 beers. In December of 2009 he went into a state run detox...found out it was his 6th time. He had a rought detox medically. Did great for two months when he got out...attended meeting every morning, afternoon and night....tried to hit the 90...fell just fell short. He was offered a good paying job on the road....and here we are again.

Now that my son is in rehab and will be coming home he wants to do it again...7th time will probably be worse. He works close to home now and meeting swill be easier.

I'm looking for a detox that is in Florida that is state run...he has no insurance. Does anyone have any information?
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Old 11-21-2010, 05:08 PM
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I have no information but wanted to say welcome to SR. Perhaps another person will have Florida info. Are you taking care of you? Is there a reason you are looking for a treatment center for him instead of him looking for one for himself?

Sorry you are surrounded by all this chaos. The people here are very helpful.
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Old 11-21-2010, 05:17 PM
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Originally Posted by HoopNinja View Post
I have no information but wanted to say welcome to SR. Perhaps another person will have Florida info. Are you taking care of you? Is there a reason you are looking for a treatment center for him instead of him looking for one for himself?

Sorry you are surrounded by all this chaos. The people here are very helpful.
Yes he is horrible around a computer. I'm trying to teach him how to blog now. Its not easy. He put his name on a Hope website and we're hoping they call tonight with information.
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Old 11-22-2010, 04:14 AM
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My husband became a member here his name is Trying2soberup. Last night while drunk he was going to post....I discouraged him to do it then and wait till he was sober.. One baby step at a time. We never received the phone we were hoping for about state detoxs in our area. He wants so bad to get on a waiting list. He is scared and rightfully so, his body hurts now when he doesn't drink during the day for about a 16 hour period, so he pops about 12 motrin a day. He's slowly killing himself. I'm scared for him. Having no insurance and just starting a new job makes this even more difficult. He needs medical detox ....now.
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Old 11-22-2010, 04:24 AM
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Could he be mental health arrested when drunk and brought to the hospital?? There is help for those uninsured Im sure.
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Old 11-22-2010, 06:23 AM
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If he is a veteran the VA will help.

My xah has medically detoxed at home more then once. He goes in for a clinic visit (once to the ER) and they send him home with 3-4 days of meds. I'm sure that wasn't as good as the in-house detox he got at the VA but apparently it is a safe option. I really don't know - I'm not a doctor or giving advice. Just suggesting it might be worth a trip to the clinic to speak with a doctor. The clinic visit is way more doable financially that is for sure.

Hope you get the call soon. You can probably find the numbers yourself for state detoxes or community mental health facilities if you look on-line under your state website. At least we can here.

Once he is signed up and/or you help find the numbers, leave him to it. I wouldn't get involved on when he makes a contact, if he is drunk or sober, or what have you. Let him steer the ship so to speak.
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Old 11-22-2010, 09:26 AM
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I am not familiar with resources in Florida, but wanted to welcome you to SR.

It appears that you are busy stamping out some fires, figuratively speaking, so my concern is what are you doing for you?

Alcoholism is a family disease. It affects everyone in its path. We loved ones of alcoholics need support too!

Please check into Alanon meetings in your area for face-to-face support among those who understand.

"Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie is a great starter book, and helped me to see where I had been enabling others most of my life. It was a real eye-opener for me.

I was married to an alcoholic/addict, and now have a 32-year-old daughter who's an active alcoholic/addict.

I have learned to set boundaries and take care of myself first and foremost.

Again, welcome to SR!
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Old 11-22-2010, 10:17 AM
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There is something you can do to help your family...

...but it requires reaching beyond the internet (not replacing it, but adding to it). Please go to an Al-Anon meeting in person and by yourself, even if you have before. Then try six different meetings before deciding if it is for you. You can find a meeting here:

Find a meeting in Florida

Good luck.

Cyranoak

Originally Posted by Lifes2good View Post
My son is in rehab spent his 23 birthday in detox...working on his recovery 2 weeks tomorrow sober

I joined another dicussion board to help with his addiction which is to oxys...

I'm now here because my husband of 5 years is an alcholoic. He hid it well when we first met....or I didn't recognize it because I had never known one.

After our first year of marriage it became real to me. His parents died within 22 days of each other....and downhill it went. Started drinking everynight 12-18 beers. In December of 2009 he went into a state run detox...found out it was his 6th time. He had a rought detox medically. Did great for two months when he got out...attended meeting every morning, afternoon and night....tried to hit the 90...fell just fell short. He was offered a good paying job on the road....and here we are again.

Now that my son is in rehab and will be coming home he wants to do it again...7th time will probably be worse. He works close to home now and meeting swill be easier.

I'm looking for a detox that is in Florida that is state run...he has no insurance. Does anyone have any information?
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Old 11-22-2010, 02:07 PM
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Thanks for the replies...never thought of looking at the state web site going there after here.

Went to Al-Anon meetings last time he was in detox. When he got out we went to all the meetings together that I was allowed to be at. We even spent New Years his first sober....at an all nighter meeting. Meetings do work for him.

I'm afraid the ER and Clinic would be to expensive. He might just put himself back on the waiting list at the last place he was at.....even though it will be a 8 hour drive for me to get him there.

I wouldn't want him to get in trouble with the law to get help....he just got his Drivers Lisence back after 20 years.

I hope you look for him on here..he works late tonight but is off tomorrow and was talking about getting on and seeing what it is about.

I'm doing as well as expected....my son's addiction is hurting me so much more. Don't know if thats unfair, but my focus is on him now...hubby had his turn and he knows where I stand with him.

I'm going to two meetings a week as part of the program for my sons recovery. I work full time and have other children...we have 6 together although some are in college and in other states....but most will be here starting tonight..

Two meetings a week is all I can squeeze in. These discussion boards are perfect for my schedule....Right now I'm cooking dinner and I'm helping myself by being here.

Thanks for your info I appreciate your help...I'll keep you posted on what I find out.
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Old 11-22-2010, 02:09 PM
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Two meetings a week is wonderful! I find SR to be a great supplement to my recovery in addition to meetings.

Hope the dinner turns out well, and don't forget to find some time for yourself, okay?
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Old 11-23-2010, 07:50 PM
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Well he made the call tonight. On a waiting list. Might be going to detox tomorrow. We'll know in the morning. Thanksgiving will be tough and he might lose his job because he's just short of his 90 day probation period. One day at a time.
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Old 11-24-2010, 08:24 AM
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Well no call today...no beds today...one day at a time.
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Old 11-24-2010, 08:30 AM
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One day at a time is a good way to live. I've even shaved it down to 5 minutes at a time. How are you doing today, dear?
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Old 11-24-2010, 06:49 PM
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Thanks for asking...doing good keeping busy. Excited that my son gets a 6 hour pass from rehab tomorrow to join us for Thanksgiving. Hoping my husband gets the call this weekend...because its a looooong drive and I don't want to take time off from work to take him. Love you pup pics. They are so precious. Hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving. I'm thankful for so many things...things that wouldn't of matter last year mean everything this year.
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Old 11-24-2010, 06:53 PM
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I'm sure your son will be very happy to participate in the Thanksgiving feast at home.

If you have any leftovers, I'd be glad to take them off your hands!
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Old 11-24-2010, 07:30 PM
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Me too
Lifes2good, stress takes a huge toll. Remember to breathe deeply. A relaxing exercise I know about is the "square breathing"

count to 4 while you -breath in
count to 4 while you hold
count to 4 while you -breath out
count to 4 without air

Repeat. I hope you try it

So I hear about the partner and children and your commitments and meetings, do you think you could schedule time (it can be 5 minutes or 1 minute or 10 seconds.. the thing is to get started) for YOU? to breathe? to watch the sky? to smell the flowers? to think positive thoughts, not for others but FOR YOU?
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Old 11-27-2010, 09:13 AM
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Dear Takingcharge....yes for me I went shopping, didn't buy much money's tight, but I love to shop....even in the madness of black friday. Put up the tree with my wonderful stepson and shopped some more...naps, eggnog, and pies....this for me...lol

My Thanksgiving went well, just to fast. My son looks good, tired easily, but his body has been through alot. Enjoying today then visiting with him tomorrow. Love just sitting here in the evening with the Tree lights on..very peaceful.

My husband still hasn't heard, keep telling him he needs to call again, but I'm not dialing the phone for him. I know if the call comes right before Christmas he won't go...one day at a time!
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