Live

OMG, yes....wicked!
I love the way you think.
Let's sell tickets for admission.

You know what, I went to a campground a little over a year ago and a bunch of fun loving older guys had one strapped to the top of their truck like others had canoes..it was a river rafting campground.
You know we spent the night around their campfire laughing ourselves silly, trading jokes!

wicked

No, I thought I was just strange that way. I am a little tiny bit over 50, and yeah, I gotta say that would tickle me a little at the beginning of a relationship.
Well, it has in fact.
Okay, I think you are processing this okay transform.
Maybe just take it easy. One day at a time. Rome wasnt built in a day.
and other cliches that says good things (healthy relationships) take time and adjustments.
You are doing good warrior woman.

Beth

Live

In the original post Transform said she had alot of things she would ENJOY chatting about and she doesn't exclude sex but that he was dropping the ball on the other stuff and turning everything back to sex.

I have dumped guys for that. Because I am more than my sexual self. Not after a week, I didn't say "strike 3, you're out!" but really after the first half dozen times or so of sex talk..I think I can figure out that you like it, you had fun with me and you'd like to do it more. I get it. I only dye my hair blonde, y'know? And it isn't that I am lacking in enthusiam for a great time in the bedroom, on the floatie, your desk or mine. But you had better have more to offer me. And if you listen to me talk about my life it is pretty daggoned easy to find "openings" of things that interest me and that can also lead to us chasing each other around.

want me to go on? I can do a real lecture here!

coyote21

white adj. \wit\ : free from color, the color of new snow or milk.

mad ness noun \'mad-nes\ : the quality or state of being mad: as, INSANITY, ECSTASY, ENTHUSIASM.

also from the Old English:

the presence of a debilitating illness, usually

occurring only in the male of the species of homo erectus. Symptoms

may include, but not limited to, hallucinations, profuse sweating, tingling of

extremities, fever, cold sweats, uncontrollable salivation, and uncontrollable

texting.

Although non-life threatening, this condition can be extremely annoying to the

afflicted person, but especially to those who are the focus of the madness.

The condition seems to be brought on when the unwitting victim, after a long

interval of celibacy, suddenly gets his world "ROCKED" by a member of the

opposite sex, who can only be described as copiously alluring.

Medically speaking, there is congestion and a fluid back-up into the spinal

cord, which if severe enough, backs up all the way to the brain stem, thus

causing pressure, resulting in temporary insanity. Often accompanied by a

related condition known as "Blue-Baggage".

There you have it. "White-Madness".



Thanks and God bless us all,
Coyote

wicked

Yup. Tis true.

LaTeeDa

Lecture away if you want. I was just thinking about my current relationship, in the beginning, and I really didn't mind all the obsessing over sex, once we finally got to that stage, you know? It's a temporary state, and I guess I kind of miss it, lol.

But, I already knew, beyond a doubt, that he had more to offer me--before I slept with him. So at that point, it was all in good fun.

Different strokes, and all that.......

L

LaTeeDa

Well, that explains a lot. Obviously there must be a female equivalent of this condition, and I got afflicted with it at the same time he did. Thus, clouding my ability to understand what the problem is here.

L

Live

HAHAHAHA
You are right LaTeeDa..we both are!

I guess I just have had a bit of a tendency to test drive a car before I did my research! and I also must say I have been really masterfully misled a couple of times..but it all comes out in the wash either way.

I was just thinking since Transform has been so busy and she has just artfully told him that she will be too busy to see him for the next few days....he needs to blow his nose, shake his head to clear it and maybe phone her to see if he could have a pizza or oriental or whatever better is available in her area (boy, I miss Hungry Howie's!) deliver a family meal to her house..without him...to make life a bit easier for her.

Those are the kind of guys that make me think..mmm, damn, honey, you ARE good! LOL

Live

OMG, Coyote and LaTeeDa....you all have reminded me of a fave gal friend of mine who used to make me laugh so hard.

She had this theory that whenever her congestion got the occasional relief it unblocked her passages and she developed a runny nose and would sneeze. With all due respect, it is called "The Rhonda Syndrome".

LaTeeDa

I hear ya. I've taken a couple rides on that boat myself. You're right, it all comes out in the wash. Which is, I suppose, why it seemed to me that something else might be going on here.

L

Learn2Live

Just have fun Transformy.
And for whatever it's worth, I agree with your sister and with LaTeeDa.

peaceteach

And for whatever it's worth, I agree with your sister and with LaTeeDa.

Me too! Me too! Don't sabotage yourself, Transform... This is good stuff!

transformyself

LTD, I was questioning myself this way as well, and it would be fine if he would initiative or stay on topic with other areas-but he's VERY fixated. Only sex talk, text and emailing. I love that stuff myself, am very sexual, but for whatever reason it's got me leery. Hell he might be a sex addict, or maybe Coyote is right and he's had his mind blown. He tells me regularly how sexy I am.

My sister says I destroy men and because I'm extraordinary and should own it. But that's how I see HER.

No, it's not mixing work with pleasure confusing me, and no he doesn't expect me to respond right away. He's just so freaking fixated.

But I am stimulated by his intellect as well. I LOVE talking to him about work, politics, etc. I tried convincing him to go to AZ with me to expand the paper, and he was tempted but his 23 year old daughter is in town and he said he couldn't leave while she was here.

He's a dedicated father.

I think I'll keep him. He took the things I told him today very well. I think the biggest issue is how I build these things up in my mind--the confrontation part or what I see as confrontation. Also I LIKE these other parts of him too. Not just the sex..

Learn2Live

Maybe cut him a break since he's been widowed quite a while now, hasn't dated since then, and likely it's been a while since he's been "involved"?

wicked

Dang, so you're gonna keep him? Oh, alright.

I know what you mean about the build up to confrontation.
I had something I had to say to my friend, finally, after much hand wringing and worrying,
I said it.
He said. "thanks for telling me, i wouldnt have known otherwise."
i mean he appreciated me being honest about something.
wow. it didnt destroy him....or me.....or the world continued to turn.....
yep. good stuff.

you destroy men? no, the white madness is usually a temporary fixation.
you go woman.

AZ?
Sedona is supposed to be really cool.
Thats all I know.

LaTeeDa

I wasn't trying to minimize your feelings at all. If he makes you leery, you should definitely pay attention to that.

On the other hand, and I'm only going by your description of events, 2-3 texts a day doesn't seem excessive--to me. Maybe it's too much--for you, and of course it's how you feel about it that matters, not me.

One of the gazillion self-help books I've read (can't remember which one) said that if the reaction you have is disproportionate to the situation, then you are likely reacting to some event or trigger from your past, not the actual here-and-now situation. I found it very helpful to pay attention, not only to my gut, but to my sometimes overreactions.

Anyway, have fun and try not to worry too much about the fixation. It doesn't seem too unusual to me, plus it usually wears off after a while. (At least that's been my experience.)

L

transformyself

I just realized what's bothering me! I want him to be my girlfriend. You know, I wish I could call him right now and talk about my day, the exciting things that are going on.
I know men. You give them three things every day and they're happy-sex, food and an optional third item.

Also, I weren't a single parent with two kids, two dogs, a business to run and a freaking cat to care for I would probably feel differently. If we lived together- or just closer- we'd take care of his (and my) needs daily and he'd be more inclined to engage in discussion about other things. But I don't have time to get away even once a week right now.

That's another issue. He has teased me a bit about not being available. I was VERY happy to spend the night with him but now I'm fully engaged back into my own life.

I think that's part of it. Holy Moly. I love my life. I love my life so much I don't NEED a man.

I don't think I've ever been here before.

transformyself

Thanks LTD, but I didn't think you were minimizing my feelings. You were asking questions, helping me sort out what's goin on.

And Wicked, you are SO bad. You kill me, every time. With wit and insight.

L2L he apparently had a girlfriend after the wife, but I don't know the details.

Learn2Live

Very cool realization.

wicked

Yeah, but if transform loves her life and gets the guy,
she wont need me anymore!



Holy Moly that is cool transform. very cool.