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My husband was arrested tonight

Old 10-11-2010, 06:10 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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He went to the meeting. He said it was relieving to see there are people just like him. He's going to go back. Now comes the hard part, living day to day.
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Old 10-11-2010, 07:32 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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When are YOU going to a meeting? An Al-Anon meeting, that is.

You said there is one today.

I'm glad he got something out of his meeting, but even if he grabs onto recovery and never takes another drink (something you can't count on--for some people it takes longer and there are relapses along the way even when they do get well), you would benefit greatly from the support.
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Old 10-11-2010, 07:36 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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That's the hard part. Me going. I'm terrified.
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Old 10-11-2010, 07:48 AM
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Don't be scared.

We have a very cool page that tells people what to expect at their first AA meeting, and I found one that does the same for Al-Anon: What to expect at your first Al-Anon meeting. You don't have to say anything if you don't want to, but it's good to at least give your name (first name) and to let people know it's your first meeting. It's even OK to say that you are nervous and would rather just listen at this meeting.

You will meet a lot of people who understand EXACTLY how you are feeling. For that alone, it's a great relief. You will start to feel less alone, and to see how others cope with some of the craziness that goes along with living with an alcoholic. You will start to lose those feelings of shame as you learn you didn't CAUSE the alcoholism, that you can't CONTROL it, and that you can't CURE it. You can, however, make your own life much better.

I've been in Al-Anon during two periods of my life when I was living with alcoholics, and it was a real lifesaver. I'm in AA now for my own drinking (which ramped up once I was no longer dealing with other people's issues), but I still use the lessons I learned in Al-Anon to detach from the unhealthy behaviors of other people.
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Old 10-11-2010, 10:48 AM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by pinkflamingo View Post
I'm thinking about packing him a bag. Making him go to his mom's for a while. That would be rougher for him over there. She's been through this before with family. She didn't want to bail him out. if it wasn't for the kids he'd still be in jail.
I agree with you. THEY bailed him out, THEY should keep him.

There really is nothing in Al-Anon to be scared of. They won't hurt you or make you do anything, they won't even make you speak if you don't want to.

Hang tough girl, Let Go of someone else's problems.
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Old 10-11-2010, 02:40 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by pinkflamingo View Post
That's the hard part. Me going. I'm terrified.
I was terrified to go to an AlAnon meeting also, Pink, but it turned out to be one of the best things I could have ever done. Take a leap of faith and try it. You have nothing to lose and a lot of support to gain. Let us know how it goes.
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