My husband was arrested tonight
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
When are YOU going to a meeting? An Al-Anon meeting, that is.
You said there is one today.
I'm glad he got something out of his meeting, but even if he grabs onto recovery and never takes another drink (something you can't count on--for some people it takes longer and there are relapses along the way even when they do get well), you would benefit greatly from the support.
You said there is one today.
I'm glad he got something out of his meeting, but even if he grabs onto recovery and never takes another drink (something you can't count on--for some people it takes longer and there are relapses along the way even when they do get well), you would benefit greatly from the support.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Don't be scared.
We have a very cool page that tells people what to expect at their first AA meeting, and I found one that does the same for Al-Anon: What to expect at your first Al-Anon meeting. You don't have to say anything if you don't want to, but it's good to at least give your name (first name) and to let people know it's your first meeting. It's even OK to say that you are nervous and would rather just listen at this meeting.
You will meet a lot of people who understand EXACTLY how you are feeling. For that alone, it's a great relief. You will start to feel less alone, and to see how others cope with some of the craziness that goes along with living with an alcoholic. You will start to lose those feelings of shame as you learn you didn't CAUSE the alcoholism, that you can't CONTROL it, and that you can't CURE it. You can, however, make your own life much better.
I've been in Al-Anon during two periods of my life when I was living with alcoholics, and it was a real lifesaver. I'm in AA now for my own drinking (which ramped up once I was no longer dealing with other people's issues), but I still use the lessons I learned in Al-Anon to detach from the unhealthy behaviors of other people.
We have a very cool page that tells people what to expect at their first AA meeting, and I found one that does the same for Al-Anon: What to expect at your first Al-Anon meeting. You don't have to say anything if you don't want to, but it's good to at least give your name (first name) and to let people know it's your first meeting. It's even OK to say that you are nervous and would rather just listen at this meeting.
You will meet a lot of people who understand EXACTLY how you are feeling. For that alone, it's a great relief. You will start to feel less alone, and to see how others cope with some of the craziness that goes along with living with an alcoholic. You will start to lose those feelings of shame as you learn you didn't CAUSE the alcoholism, that you can't CONTROL it, and that you can't CURE it. You can, however, make your own life much better.
I've been in Al-Anon during two periods of my life when I was living with alcoholics, and it was a real lifesaver. I'm in AA now for my own drinking (which ramped up once I was no longer dealing with other people's issues), but I still use the lessons I learned in Al-Anon to detach from the unhealthy behaviors of other people.
To thine own self be true.
Join Date: May 2009
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 5,924
Originally Posted by pinkflamingo 
I'm thinking about packing him a bag. Making him go to his mom's for a while. That would be rougher for him over there. She's been through this before with family. She didn't want to bail him out. if it wasn't for the kids he'd still be in jail.
There really is nothing in Al-Anon to be scared of. They won't hurt you or make you do anything, they won't even make you speak if you don't want to.
Hang tough girl, Let Go of someone else's problems.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: seeking sanity
Posts: 645
Originally Posted by pinkflamingo
That's the hard part. Me going. I'm terrified.
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