Jenny1232

I know.. the sad thing is.. in my eyes, they're most likely, "not cute", "boring", "nerdy", etc....

Learn2Live

Yup. I understand completely. But you know what? Once I started calming myself down and straightening mySELF out, and finding my own serenity, a very cute, not boring or nerdy, clean and sober guy came into my life. You know what they say? You attract into your life that which you think about most of the time. So think good, healthy, positive, clean and sober thoughts and you will attract good, healthy, positive, clean and sober people.

kia

do u think L2L cos i certainly hope so it worrys me ill attract another one just like him xxx

Learn2Live

Oh Kia, I know what you are talking about. I have been in so many relationships with so many different kinds of people, nearly all of them abusive in one way or another. At the very least, all users. I am a good person, who would not purposely harm anyone, not vindictive or mean, but I seemed to attract people who were very hurtful, mean, abusive, did not care about my feelings. Cheated on me, punched me in the face, busted my lip, endangered my life, they just were not good for me. I think probably most of us on here (SR) have been subjected to way too much abuse, abuse we did not ask for or deserve or cause or anything.

I don't know what has helped everyone else but what I know for myself is I had to start taking responsibility for myself. I relied on others way too much and I had no self-confidence. I did not know that I could stand on my own two feet. I depended on other people financially and emotionally. What has also helped me is believing in a higher power. I choose God as my higher power. Doing that helped me to gain more and more respect for myself and more ability to see other people for what they truly are, not what I wish or want or think them to be.

So, in answer to your question, YES, I truly believe that.

chella

Thanks for sharing the information. I, too, was in a marriage where I kept trying to understand someone who was abusing me. As I learned to have better boundaries, the abuse got worse. My therapist told me they were change back messages. Anyway, 7 years later and divorced for a year now I see how confused I was. Its very difficult to choose to give up on someone. It was for me, anyway. Good luck with listening to that little voice in your head, or your gut feeling. It takes time to learn to trust yourself.

Learn2Live

I am glad you got away from that person Chella.