WizeDeb

06-09-10 he has been gone six months. Its all a blur. My daughters graduation is on Tuesday. Ive been so upset, first big acheivement with him gone. Of course his parents are still being mean and so forth. I had the stomach bug last Monday so i called out sick.l I was sick becuase there was an award ceramony at her tech school. Now Im sure you all know how certain triggers send you into space. I went to work Tuesday and my boss pretty much shunned me like an amish person. Wed I went in and he was doing the same thing. I just couldnt take it and had a melt down and left. After he told me that I should be moving on, abusing days off, blah blah blah.Oh and did I go to the ceramony, Of course I did if I had to carry a bucket with me. My boss is the most un sensitive person I have ever meant.How much more can I be beat down? How much does one person take without losing it.

So I went back to my doctors and put myself on FMLA not a full leave but if Im having a bad day I have to option to leave or stay home. Im protecting my job. Ive been there ten years, think they would have some compassion.
This is not something you just get over. Certain triggers are going to make me upset and you know what thats ok. They told me I have PTSD. What a surprize huh?

So on the way home my daughter and i were going to CVS to pick up the scripts. While we are drivng a there were cops sitting on the corner. So the cop stands out in the middle of the road and stops me. He comes up to the car and wouldnt you know it was the same cop that came to the house to tell us that he had passed away. I looked at him and said that sentence , he told me to pull over behind the his car. He talks to the other cops standing there, I have all my paperwork ready to for him. He walked up to my car in TEARS and said dont speed anymore and Im sorry, I didnt get the ticket but how strange was that.

You know I seem to be ok most days then all of a sudden it hits me like a ton of bricksl. Up oown Up down. I know Im making progress but her graduation has really made me go over the edge. Im so proud but sad too.
Need to trust my HP in order to get thru this. God this is so hard.

naive

what a sensitive policeofficer and no ticket too. nice one.

i always try to remove toxic people from my life. if you find your boss toxic, is there any way to get away from him? new job? take some vacation days? request a transfer to another boss?

this too will pass.

don't forget to breathe. deep breath in, deep breath out always calms me and reminds me to surrender to HP.

dollydo

You'll be ok, this is a grief process that we all go through.

I once worked for a boss who had no compassion, not directed at me, but a young lady who had a handicapped daughter. She was a good worker, however, her whole life was consumed with her daughter, 24/7. She was off alot and on the phone alot. We other workers listened to her and felt compassion, he did not, he gave her an option, leave or be fired. She chose to leave.

She found a job at a day care center for handicapped children, she brought her daughter with her to work. Perfect fit!

My point, that job had run its course. It was not working. Perhaps your job has run its course, it might be time to find another and start fresh, a new beginning.

Make today a good one!

catlovermi

Little things like this tempt me to believe there is a Higher Power, and Larger Plan.

Hugs to you, Deb. Both PTSD and grief, are hard, and predictably unpredictable. I'm glad you can come here and share your pain and frustrations with us; I hope it helps a little.

:ghug3

CLMI