Melt down
06-09-10 he has been gone six months. Its all a blur. My daughters graduation is on Tuesday. Ive been so upset, first big acheivement with him gone. Of course his parents are still being mean and so forth. I had the stomach bug last Monday so i called out sick.l I was sick becuase there was an award ceramony at her tech school. Now Im sure you all know how certain triggers send you into space. I went to work Tuesday and my boss pretty much shunned me like an amish person. Wed I went in and he was doing the same thing. I just couldnt take it and had a melt down and left. After he told me that I should be moving on, abusing days off, blah blah blah.Oh and did I go to the ceramony, Of course I did if I had to carry a bucket with me. My boss is the most un sensitive person I have ever meant.How much more can I be beat down? How much does one person take without losing it.
So I went back to my doctors and put myself on FMLA not a full leave but if Im having a bad day I have to option to leave or stay home. Im protecting my job. Ive been there ten years, think they would have some compassion.
This is not something you just get over. Certain triggers are going to make me upset and you know what thats ok. They told me I have PTSD. What a surprize huh?
So on the way home my daughter and i were going to CVS to pick up the scripts. While we are drivng a there were cops sitting on the corner. So the cop stands out in the middle of the road and stops me. He comes up to the car and wouldnt you know it was the same cop that came to the house to tell us that he had passed away. I looked at him and said that sentence , he told me to pull over behind the his car. He talks to the other cops standing there, I have all my paperwork ready to for him. He walked up to my car in TEARS and said dont speed anymore and Im sorry, I didnt get the ticket but how strange was that.
You know I seem to be ok most days then all of a sudden it hits me like a ton of bricksl. Up oown Up down. I know Im making progress but her graduation has really made me go over the edge. Im so proud but sad too.
Need to trust my HP in order to get thru this. God this is so hard.