Ex A is now demanding an apology.....
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Join Date: Feb 2010
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Ex A is now demanding an apology.....
*Sigh*
She's demanding an apology, but not specifying what for. Says she "didn't think she would get that apology that she is so owed."
I nearly bit on that one. I almost responded and asked, "What do you feel you are owed an apology for?"
I haven't attacked or engaged in anything in many, many months, merely gone no contact and kept my distance, but she seems hellbent on starting things up. Seems like she is quacking bigtime here, am I right?
Says I've "Only made things more difficult on myself." Which I think I disagree with, personally - I haven't had to listen to her nonsense for weeks.
Then goes on about how her Dad raised her better and if she had nothing good to say to say nothing at all.
Taking stock, if someone's parent raised them to be an alcoholic/drug addict with no job and living off welfare.......well, I think you guys get the picture.
She's really pulling out the stops today.
If I didn't know any better, I'd say she's drunk....
Man, just when you think you are past it....
She still denies she is drinking around the child.....yet I have email proof that she admits to going out once a week for a couple of drinks.....it's never just a 'couple' of drinks.....and it's likely being done at home too....
No contact produces some pretty harsh results.
I've responded with nothing but kindness today.....and yet....
Someone remind me of the quacking again, I'm feeling guilt and anxiety at the moment....
Thx in advance....
She's demanding an apology, but not specifying what for. Says she "didn't think she would get that apology that she is so owed."
I nearly bit on that one. I almost responded and asked, "What do you feel you are owed an apology for?"
I haven't attacked or engaged in anything in many, many months, merely gone no contact and kept my distance, but she seems hellbent on starting things up. Seems like she is quacking bigtime here, am I right?
Says I've "Only made things more difficult on myself." Which I think I disagree with, personally - I haven't had to listen to her nonsense for weeks.
Then goes on about how her Dad raised her better and if she had nothing good to say to say nothing at all.
Taking stock, if someone's parent raised them to be an alcoholic/drug addict with no job and living off welfare.......well, I think you guys get the picture.
She's really pulling out the stops today.
If I didn't know any better, I'd say she's drunk....
Man, just when you think you are past it....
She still denies she is drinking around the child.....yet I have email proof that she admits to going out once a week for a couple of drinks.....it's never just a 'couple' of drinks.....and it's likely being done at home too....
No contact produces some pretty harsh results.
I've responded with nothing but kindness today.....and yet....
Someone remind me of the quacking again, I'm feeling guilt and anxiety at the moment....
Thx in advance....
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Anywhere but here...
Posts: 227
Hold fast Duped....
She's attempting to suck you back in, and pretty close to succeeding! Your posts are always so full of wisdom. Stay your course, do NOT engage her. You are strong enough to recognize the QUACK QUACK QUACK when you hear it.
NC is so much easier isn't it? Why do they feel the need to stir the bee's nest? Oh, I know, because they can't stand the silence!!!
Praying for you to have strength and not allow the QUACKING to invade your recovery and progress!
She's attempting to suck you back in, and pretty close to succeeding! Your posts are always so full of wisdom. Stay your course, do NOT engage her. You are strong enough to recognize the QUACK QUACK QUACK when you hear it.
NC is so much easier isn't it? Why do they feel the need to stir the bee's nest? Oh, I know, because they can't stand the silence!!!
Praying for you to have strength and not allow the QUACKING to invade your recovery and progress!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 3,443
Quack Quack Quack.
I replied this morning after 4 months of keeping my lips zipped and I'd give anything to snatch that email out of cyber space. I didn't say anything terrible but I just don't want to give him the satisfaction of a response - and I obsess about it when I respond. It hooks me and triggers me. It is so infuriating. I let go so much easier if I ignore.
I'm terrible at interpretations but I guess I just want to say that you are right - yes she is quacking. Loudly. She is upping the anty trying to hook you. Hang tough! Don't respond! Let it go! You'll be glad you did. Give that email a mental
and go on your way.
And send this post back to me every three day so I don't forget to take my own advice.
I replied this morning after 4 months of keeping my lips zipped and I'd give anything to snatch that email out of cyber space. I didn't say anything terrible but I just don't want to give him the satisfaction of a response - and I obsess about it when I respond. It hooks me and triggers me. It is so infuriating. I let go so much easier if I ignore.
I'm terrible at interpretations but I guess I just want to say that you are right - yes she is quacking. Loudly. She is upping the anty trying to hook you. Hang tough! Don't respond! Let it go! You'll be glad you did. Give that email a mental
and go on your way.And send this post back to me every three day so I don't forget to take my own advice.
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 394
Originally Posted by IamSaved 
Hold fast Duped....
She's attempting to suck you back in, and pretty close to succeeding! Your posts are always so full of wisdom. Stay your course, do NOT engage her. You are strong enough to recognize the QUACK QUACK QUACK when you hear it.
NC is so much easier isn't it? Why do they feel the need to stir the bee's nest? Oh, I know, because they can't stand the silence!!!
Praying for you to have strength and not allow the QUACKING to invade your recovery and progress!
She's attempting to suck you back in, and pretty close to succeeding! Your posts are always so full of wisdom. Stay your course, do NOT engage her. You are strong enough to recognize the QUACK QUACK QUACK when you hear it.
NC is so much easier isn't it? Why do they feel the need to stir the bee's nest? Oh, I know, because they can't stand the silence!!!
Praying for you to have strength and not allow the QUACKING to invade your recovery and progress!
I believe this has something to do with our upcoming meeting with the mediator, and a call that I had with someone from child services awhile back.
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Quebec
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Originally Posted by Duped
She's demanding an apology, but not specifying what for. Says she "didn't think she would get that apology that she is so owed."
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Join Date: Feb 2010
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Wow. I've weakened. She buttered me up with some very beautiful pics of my little girl attached. I responded to how beautiful they were, and then was very complimentary towards my A about how well she has managed, that I'm proud of how she's coped.....then.....
WHAM!!!!
WHAM WHAM WHAM......
right on my noggin.....
WHAM!!!!
WHAM WHAM WHAM......
right on my noggin.....
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Duped,
You are so welcome! I love reading your posts, you have kept me strong through much of my journey!
Amazing isn't it? If there were Oscars for manipulation, I bet each one of our A's would have the trophy proudly displayed on their mantle!
I re-read your first post, and almost laughed out loud. I am amazed at the lengths they will go to manipulate and re-engage. NC with you is driving her mad. So, she 'makes up' some situation in her head, and then tells YOU she is never going to get the apology SHE deserves?? Manipulation at its finest! It's laughable! Truly!
Hang in there dude! You are so strong, and the QUACK you hear is merely an annoyance that will go away soon! I wish I had a picture of a duck! Stay strong! You are an inspiration to so many, me included!
You are so welcome! I love reading your posts, you have kept me strong through much of my journey!
Amazing isn't it? If there were Oscars for manipulation, I bet each one of our A's would have the trophy proudly displayed on their mantle!
I re-read your first post, and almost laughed out loud. I am amazed at the lengths they will go to manipulate and re-engage. NC with you is driving her mad. So, she 'makes up' some situation in her head, and then tells YOU she is never going to get the apology SHE deserves?? Manipulation at its finest! It's laughable! Truly!
Hang in there dude! You are so strong, and the QUACK you hear is merely an annoyance that will go away soon! I wish I had a picture of a duck! Stay strong! You are an inspiration to so many, me included!
today4me
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 311
Duped,
Be strong! You have been my rock and seem always right when responding to my posts. Be patient. If you need reply, wait until the next morning to. Sleep on it.
It seems she has already got her way by getting you to respond. Remember, this is a stupid txt/email. She's not even giving 100% effort to call on the phone or see you in person.
It is not real, or is an attempt to gain control.
If she is really missing you. Let her keep missing you and see what happens tomorrow, and the next day.
We all know we miss them today, and the next.....So, just leave it be.
Praying for you..........right now!
Be strong! You have been my rock and seem always right when responding to my posts. Be patient. If you need reply, wait until the next morning to. Sleep on it.
It seems she has already got her way by getting you to respond. Remember, this is a stupid txt/email. She's not even giving 100% effort to call on the phone or see you in person.
It is not real, or is an attempt to gain control.
If she is really missing you. Let her keep missing you and see what happens tomorrow, and the next day.
We all know we miss them today, and the next.....So, just leave it be.
Praying for you..........right now!
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 394
Thanks all.
Actually, I don't miss her at all. I'm not in love with her and do not pine for her. I only want serenity and to be left alone. I've been NC for months.....nothing has changed.....
She's going on about how I abandoned her and the child.....
Really, I want to respond by saying, "I thought we were going to discuss such things with the mediator."
Actually, I don't miss her at all. I'm not in love with her and do not pine for her. I only want serenity and to be left alone. I've been NC for months.....nothing has changed.....
She's going on about how I abandoned her and the child.....
Really, I want to respond by saying, "I thought we were going to discuss such things with the mediator."
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,888
That has to be a tough hook to avoid nibbling on, when she dangles your daughter like that. Far more effective than some shiny lure.
I bet your aching noggin' has reminded you to keep any communication about your daughter and only your daughter if you must reply. Nothing related to the A at all. The longer and more misdirected the reply, the harder the hammer will fall. Oh, and about that apology...I got your apology right here, sister ;P <PFFTHHH>
What's that word of wisdom I've read here....oh yeah....Our higher power will keep repeating the lessons until we learn them.
I know I am grateful I get more than one try at using my recovery tools. If I was graded on my first attempts alone, I would have flunked out of this process my first month.
Hang in their duped!!
Alice
I bet your aching noggin' has reminded you to keep any communication about your daughter and only your daughter if you must reply. Nothing related to the A at all. The longer and more misdirected the reply, the harder the hammer will fall. Oh, and about that apology...I got your apology right here, sister ;P <PFFTHHH>
What's that word of wisdom I've read here....oh yeah....Our higher power will keep repeating the lessons until we learn them.
I know I am grateful I get more than one try at using my recovery tools. If I was graded on my first attempts alone, I would have flunked out of this process my first month.
Hang in their duped!!
Alice
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 394
Thanks Alice, and everyone.
She's using my daughter as a tool for emotional blackmail. I see it. Really, it's quacking ahead of the mediator. She says she wants no more of my bs, but it's all her stirring up the pot here.
The minute I respond, it's over. Then I've engaged and she can run roughshod. Any responses today (2 so far) have been nothing but kindness and complimentary.
Now she's vomiting all over the place.
Heh. What a hook indeed, she nearly had me right back on the merry go round. All this after I just gave her a grand for clothes etc. for the little one.
Ugh....
The involvement of the mediator means a loss of power for her and that she will have to deal fairly.
She's using my daughter as a tool for emotional blackmail. I see it. Really, it's quacking ahead of the mediator. She says she wants no more of my bs, but it's all her stirring up the pot here.
The minute I respond, it's over. Then I've engaged and she can run roughshod. Any responses today (2 so far) have been nothing but kindness and complimentary.
Now she's vomiting all over the place.
Heh. What a hook indeed, she nearly had me right back on the merry go round. All this after I just gave her a grand for clothes etc. for the little one.
Ugh....
The involvement of the mediator means a loss of power for her and that she will have to deal fairly.
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Join Date: Feb 2010
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Yeah, exactly. She started out well, got me to engage. It was all pleasant and nice.......then
WHAM.
Oh well, slip up. This is what moderators are for. Really, I think I will get the moderator to ask her to write out a whole laundry list of everything that needs to be apologised for.
Really, this person is completely incapable of starting fresh and focusing on taking care of the little one. She absolutely MUST extract her pound of flesh.
WHAM.
Oh well, slip up. This is what moderators are for. Really, I think I will get the moderator to ask her to write out a whole laundry list of everything that needs to be apologised for.
Really, this person is completely incapable of starting fresh and focusing on taking care of the little one. She absolutely MUST extract her pound of flesh.
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The involvement of the mediator means a loss of power for her and that she will have to deal fairly.
You can do it, Duped. NC NC NC NC...no matter how she tries to manipulate you by using your beautiful child. How sad...and sickening.
Praying for you..NOW!
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Thankfully it's never over the phone.
The irony being that a mere two emails prior she was reveling about how happy she was, what a beautiful little girl she has and how great life is. Then it turned completely dour, almost instantaneously. Could that be bi-polar disorder?
The irony being that a mere two emails prior she was reveling about how happy she was, what a beautiful little girl she has and how great life is. Then it turned completely dour, almost instantaneously. Could that be bi-polar disorder?
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Originally Posted by Duped
Thankfully it's never over the phone.
The irony being that a mere two emails prior she was reveling about how happy she was, what a beautiful little girl she has and how great life is. Then it turned completely dour, almost instantaneously. Could that be bi-polar disorder?
The irony being that a mere two emails prior she was reveling about how happy she was, what a beautiful little girl she has and how great life is. Then it turned completely dour, almost instantaneously. Could that be bi-polar disorder?
I truly believed my XA was manic/bi-polar. Yes, I totally believe that is possible!
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