chimney

So I`m starting to rethink what an alcoholic is. Someone who needs a couple of drinks before bed have a problem? Someone who needs to have a couple of beers to relax when they get home from work is an alcoholic?

CAPTAINZING2000

define a couple. Every time I was ever pulled over it was only a couple of drinks I'd tell the police officer.

If, you're saying 2 drinks then able to not drink anymore, that to me isn't a problem. I couldn't stop at 2 drinks.

chimney

The people whom I`m talking about , one of them had 2 drinks before bed every night. The other had 2 beers when they got home from work.

suki44883

If they can have 2 and stop, it doesn't sound like an alcohol problem to me.

chimney

No, their drinking did`t affect me because I wasn`t around them a lot.

chimney

But my bil is an alcoholic and has been to rehab more than I can count and he seemed to think that the person(who he knew personaly)who drank at night had a problem.

Jazzman

I think the operative work here is "needs". Addiction is progressive so if some one "needs" a couple to relax or sleep then it's only going to get worse. Gut check time.

suki44883

Without knowing any details and with only the information you gave us, there is no way we can know whether they have an alcohol problem or not. I went back and read your other thread regarding inviting someone into your home who recently got out of rehab. Is this connected to that? The replies you got on that thread were pretty much all of the mind that you should not invite someone elses drama into your home, especially since this person has relapsed several times.

chimney

The person I was talking about on the other thread is a different person. They are not the ones I`m talking about on this thread.

suki44883

Well, you are being quite tight-lipped about the situation. You give one sentence of information and ask us to say whether or not someone has an alcohol problem. Perhaps if you gave some more details we could be more help, but with the smidgen of information you have provided, and absolutely NO details, NO ONE could make that determination.

chimney

anvilhead, Of course I know them.... That`s why I asked. I was talking about my brother-in law, not BF. We don`t even have anything to do with my brother-in-law anymore.The only one who does is my mother-in-law.

chimney

Sorry avilhead.
I do feel like I was pretty clear about what I was asking in the first post.

KittyP

Sums it up really. It doesn't matter how little or much someone is drinking, if they "need" it, it's a problem. They might be functioning well now but over time they will need more and more alcohol to get the feeling they "need" and that's when things get worse.

If someone tells me they are worried about their drinking I ask them to imagine it's a freezing, rainy Friday night, it's been a tough week, tougher day and the journey home was a nightmare. But now they're home where it's toasty and warm and they've changed into their PJs/comfy sweats, they're exhausted but can now, at last, relax. They've got a tasty take away ready to eat and are looking forward to having it with the bottle of wine/beer/G&T that's in the kitchen while watching a movie they've been looking forward to. Then they realise that the drink is not there. What do they do? Really honestly do. Shrug and have tea/milk/juice/coke or get dressed again and go out in the rain and cold to buy the alcohol? If it's the latter it's a sign of a problem.

flutter

As soon as I started 'needing' a drink I figured it was a problem. No idea why anyone else's alcoholism or lack thereof is an issue for you..but from what you've provided I would say 2 drinks a day falls within 'moderate drinking' guidelines for adult males (its one drink a day for females). But you say these mysterious people 'need' the drinks, so...eh who knows. No one here can determine if anyone else is an alcoholic anyways.

chimney

Flutter, I don`t see why you had to make these comments, "no idea why anyones elses alcoholism or lack is an issue for you" and "but you say these mysterious people..." It`s really not neccessary...

suki44883

Seems the general consensus here is, given the limited information you supplied, 2 drinks a day does not necessarily indicate an alcohol problem. Does that satisfactorily answer your question?

stella27

Maybe.

wicked

ElegantlyWasted

"only definition that matters is that of the drinker themselves."

I think Anvil hit it right on the head (no pun intended). Great list of qs as well.

I also love the two drink test... If you're honest with yourself it flawless. The only obsticle is one's own denial.

hello-kitty

If he doesn't think it's a problem for him, then it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.

However, this website has some good information for assessing problem drinking:

Alcohol Abuse: How to Recognize Problem Drinking -- familydoctor.org