So Lost... (this is a long one... sorry)
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
Originally Posted by mishaco1 
I had a horrible panic attack about 2 am Thursday morning and there was not one person there for me and I lived through it
The great thing about SR is we are open 24/7. Feel free to browse the forum. There is usually someone around. Members are in the SR arcade all hours. SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information - Arcade
There is even a section for posting jokes. Recovery Follies - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
I like to go read the funnies, when I need a good laugh.
Your list of Alanon numbers are yours to use anytime you need someone to listen. The phone numbers are given out because they want to be called when needed. The callee gets as much out of the call as the caller. It is part of the cycle of giving back what was given so freely.
((hugs))
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Denver, CO
Posts: 69
Originally Posted by catlovermi
Do you have a PLAN, if he shows up at your door and gets out of control?
(A plan is a discreet set of actions and things you may need - someone on call speed dial programmed into your phone in case you need, an alternate place to stay, an extra set of keys and cash - not just thoughts about it...)
And does he KNOW you have a restraining order?
CLMI
(A plan is a discreet set of actions and things you may need - someone on call speed dial programmed into your phone in case you need, an alternate place to stay, an extra set of keys and cash - not just thoughts about it...)
And does he KNOW you have a restraining order?
CLMI
He does know there is a restraining order and at this point, he is so afraid he is going to jail he is staying away. If he texts or calls and I say anything regarding "courts", "cops", "DA", "Jail" - he hangs up or doesn't respond and pulls the battery out of his phone so they can't find him (numb huh?! Seems more paranoid and freakish to me).
I have 3 different friends on call and my parents. My two neighbors know most of the details too and that there is a restraining order and one of them is retired and here all day long so I feel as though my place and I am safe in that sense.
I do jump at night when I hear noises or the dog barks but I am sure that will be gone in time too. Last year he would show up here drunk, sneak on the balcony, con me into letting him in and then he refused to leave, took the cat at one point... so I am just waiting for when daddy decides he is done helping and AXBF realizes he no longer has a place to live (drink) and nocigs and food and money, he will be putting me right back through the hell I was put through last year.
That fear I had last year. Getting arrested, almost having my life destroyed, protecting him, not knowing if he would drink and strike again. The fear I felt on March 15th of this year. The fear for my poor dog and cats. All of that fear is so fresh in my mind. I will not let him in and he WILL go back to jail if he shows up here. PERIOD. Jail is the safest place for him at this point anyways.
He has left me alone tonight... (and I refrained from checking on him!)... and now I am thankful for the peace because as I type this, I remember how horrible I really did feel for a long time and tonight, I have me, my dog, my cats, my computer and my TV. No ABF stirring sh*t up and I am thankful for the peace that is in my home tonight.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: carolina girl
Posts: 578
Misha,
Welcome to SR, I'm happy you are here. This place is a blessing, and I'm glad you found it, like I did. It changed my life. I'm so proud of you for the progress you have made, in staying no contact with this person (I won't even call him a man, he seems far from it).
I do have to say though, that when he sends you text messages, or calls you, makes contact in any way, call the police. Period. Give A's an inch and they will take a mile. You say that if he actually shows up at your door you will call the police. Are you willing to bet your life on those three seconds? That's all it takes to be shot, stabbed, or seriously assaulted: three seconds. Please don't take any chances. In order for a restraining order to mean anything, it has to be enforced, for every single infraction, not just the major ones. Police don't take restraining orders seriously unless YOU do. If you wait until he "really" does something wrong, it may be too late. Please put yourself first, and make him see how serious you are about him leaving you alone. Put the fear of God into him, as he has put into you. It's only fair.
You even THINK about contacting me, you go to jail. PERIOD. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, tough guy.
This guy makes me mad.
People like him make me glad I own a gun...and even more glad that I'm not afraid to use it...
Welcome to SR, I'm happy you are here. This place is a blessing, and I'm glad you found it, like I did. It changed my life. I'm so proud of you for the progress you have made, in staying no contact with this person (I won't even call him a man, he seems far from it).
I do have to say though, that when he sends you text messages, or calls you, makes contact in any way, call the police. Period. Give A's an inch and they will take a mile. You say that if he actually shows up at your door you will call the police. Are you willing to bet your life on those three seconds? That's all it takes to be shot, stabbed, or seriously assaulted: three seconds. Please don't take any chances. In order for a restraining order to mean anything, it has to be enforced, for every single infraction, not just the major ones. Police don't take restraining orders seriously unless YOU do. If you wait until he "really" does something wrong, it may be too late. Please put yourself first, and make him see how serious you are about him leaving you alone. Put the fear of God into him, as he has put into you. It's only fair.
You even THINK about contacting me, you go to jail. PERIOD. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, tough guy.
This guy makes me mad.
People like him make me glad I own a gun...and even more glad that I'm not afraid to use it...
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 594
Originally Posted by Bucyn
No, he doesn't have a hold on you; you are desperately holding onto him. You can pretty much choose never to see him again, right now. You are waiting for him to 'set you free', and he never will. You have to let go; you have to set yourself free.
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