justsomegirl

It finally happened. I have read and heard of this happening but my husbnad never has done it, until this weekend. AT 9 oclock he decides to go out and takes about 12 beers and pot. He rolled in just before 2am. He drove home. He passed out on the couch where I was still awake watching TV, going online etc. I left him there because he makes really annoying loud noises and grunts whe he is really drunk and I can't sleep. Well, he woke up and came to bed. A few hours later (I was awake because of his bleeping sound effects)he all of a sudden rolls over me and takes off his underware. I asked him what he was doing and he said he was going to the bathroom. Well he went to lean in on me and the bed and I asked him again what he was doing. Then, he turn around, and started peeing on my dresser and the floor. SOme of the drawers were slightly open. I stared screaming at him and he scooted into the bathroom to finish. He didnt even know what he was doing. I freaked out and stared cleadning it up and he couldn't even remember what happened 5 seconds afetr he did it. He kept asking why I was freaking out. Quickly realizing my freaking out was serving knowone, I stopped and finished cleaning and went back to bed. I didnt fall asleep intil after dawn when his melodic sound effects finally stopped. He remembered nothing the next morning. He asked me why I was so bitchy when he finally rolled out of bed. I told him I was tired because I didnt get more then a few hours sleep and I was pissed because you pissed all over my dresser and clothes. He didnt recall a thing. Then asked me if I wanted to go on all day about it. He didnt apologise, offer to do the laundry, nothing. I feel like I lost the last bit of respect I had for him that night. Not only the peeing but the fact that he thinks he has the right to drink and drive. He wasnt a litle buzzed...he was wrecked. ARg...I just want to wake up tommorrow in a new life.....

Duped

You shouldn't have cleaned it up. Now he can deny it ever happened and use it as an opportunity to say that you are crazy.

Pelican

(((hugs)))

Sorry you had to experience that. I have experience with the pissed bed.

Looking back now at what I have learned, I should have left him to clean up the mess. I stripped the bed and did the wash, febreeze, fans, etc... TWICE.

In hindsight, it was one more of his consequences that I took responsibility for. That pisses me off more than the **** in the bed. maybe.

justsomegirl

I would have left it...but it was all my stuff. His is in a different dresser.....

justsomegirl

[

Now he can deny it ever happened and use it as an opportunity to say that you are crazy


YES..He does do that. He has me doubt my own eyes and ears.

4ever

I am so sorry you had to go through that.

I have actually done this myself...twice as a matter of fact. I have a vague memory of both times. The first time I got out of bed thinking I was outside a squatted in the middle of the upstairs hall. My daughter came out of her room and needless to say she was very upset. The second time I was alone and I had got up and went right next to the bed. I didn't have any memory of that until the next day when I noticed the floor was wet. I was so embarrassed by what I had done.

The last time was one of my final straws and one of the reasons for me to quit. I'm sure many alcoholics have done this at one time or another...admitting it is embarrassing and humiliating. I doubt you'll get an apology. I never apolozied to my daughter. I just wanted to forget it ever happened.

I can't imagine ever living that way again and my hats off to anyone that has to put up with what I use to be like.

Duped

My exA does that do - at any and all opportunity, about any insignificant thing.

suki44883

Separate bedrooms? Separate houses?

freefalling

started peeing on my dresser and the floor.

I am ashamed to say I stayed for another decade after that happened first time! It was only the beginning. Are you gonna stay as i did ? OUCH- brings back bad memories. crazy crazy stuff that we choose to deal with.

Ceres

"Then asked me if I wanted to go on all day about it. He didnt apologise, offer to do the laundry, nothing."

Being a recovering A also, You can BET he's mortified himself. But, he's not gonna show it. He's going to flip it over and over in his head and in the end - It's all YOUR fault! This is just going to be another brick in the wall that will eventually lead to his own demise.

cinderellawkids

Mine did it all the time. It never mattered if I cleaned it up, left it for him or whatever.
I once left vomit, but in the end I cleaned it properly after he had, it would ahve been easier to do it myself

Bernadette

Then asked me if I wanted to go on all day about it. He didnt apologise, offer to do the laundry, nothing

OK, so what more do you need to know? Would you have friends who treat you like this? Children? The person who pees on your stuff in the middle of the night and then says this in the morning is just a jerk, drunk, sober, or from planet mars.

You deserve better. What are you getting out of this relationship?

peace-
b

Ceres

"Would you have friends who treat you like this?"

I LOVE this line. It can go for ANYTHING.

GiveLove

Peeing, defecating, and vomiting in the house is something I might tolerate from a sick housepet or an infant, but not from a grown man. In my humblest of opinions, you aren't disgusted ENOUGH with this.

That you have to go through this, that you can't sleep peacefully in your own bed, that he goes out on drunks 'til god knows when, that he takes no responsibility for himself, that if he gets into an accident YOU will be responsible for half the cost........I'd echo Bernadette's questions (as I often do)

You deserve so much better. And it is out there, it truly is. But the sad thing is you will never find it for as long as this is what you're willing to settle for. What's your plan for taking back your life and your dignity?

naive

dear me, this brings back memories.

mine used to wet the bed. i remember waking up in it. i moved to the guestrooom.

let's say that you had peed all over someone's mattress or their clothing. what would you do in the morning?

i know for myself, i would apologize, rush to clean it, analyze how in the world i was in such a state for such a thing to happen, and then i might go out of my way to do something to make up for it...maybe a small present for putting someone else out...

do you know how many times as a 45 year old adult i have peed the bed in my life? zero.

but then again, if one consumes 12 beers in a few hours, it's gotta come out... a sober person would make sure they at least peed before retiring...

sigh....i'm done babysitting...sick of it yet?

naive

ForeverLearning

BTDT with my alcoholic. He has wet the bed with me in it, urinated in our closet, the corner of our bedroom, multiple vomit episodes in our home and our car and one memorable time, all over our brand new baby things for our daughter. It really is no fun.

I'm so sorry you are dealing with this.

alanonicnov2008

It just occurs to me how perfectly this episode sums up the childishness.

My ex was sober when we started dating but he acted out in other ways...and called me crazy for reacting. If you don't have your head on straight enough you can really be convinced you are going nuts.

Ceres

"If you don't have your head on straight enough you can really be convinced you are going nuts."

Yep. My mother was a chronic alcoholic - But also an untreated nut.

My husband felt the need to tell me "You're just like your mother". When I, *sober*, asked him, *not sober*, to leave.

He NEVER even met her. It just flooded in my head all the times he called me paranoid and insecure.

Bucyn

"I'm going to go on about it for the rest of my life, buddy."

I don't blame you. XAH had almost chronic diarrhea.

We were condo hunting in Orlando and the realtor and I were talking in the living room and XAH was scouting outside. Suddenly he came scurrying in knees together, tearing at his belt and pants zipper to the bathroom.

He went in (there was no electric on, so the bathroom was dark), and without shutting the door let out the grossest, longest, nastiest sounding spell of diarrhea. After the first round of explosions, he leaned over and shut the door.

More and more came out of him. The realtor went and looked out the window. I hung around the kitchen. It was so embarassing. The noise stopped. He fussed in there a long time. It was an empty aptment with no furniture, no electricity and no toilet paper. I have no idea how he cleaned up in the dark without toilet paper. I cannot imagine what that bathroom looked like when he left.

He came out stinking, and had a big poop stain on the back of one thigh. A couple minutes later when I could bring myself to look at him, he had poop on his face.

What do you say to that? How do you tell someone? After a while I said something like, I'm not sure, but you might have something on your face.

He had the grace to be embarassed. But not enough to re evaluate the role drinking constantly and eating irregularly (he often went a day without eating...I'll eat tomorrow...and why not, he was consuming several thousand calories a day in booze). I'll bet he will never, ever admit that his chronic diarrhea is because of his drinking. Alcohol would never be so unkind to him.

It's a matter of time before he's peeing the bed too.

Bucyn

That reminds me of the last fight XAH and I had. I had the misfortune to marry TWO alkies (hence my participation in AlAnon and other counseling). During our last fight, XAH was screaming red faced about how I was fat and lazy with his shirt pulled up to his chin exposing his bloated, hairy, pastey white stomache, ordering me to raise my shirt to prove which of us was fatter.

The man was demented. I told him he was acting just likand alcoholic. He was enraged. "You are psycho. Psycho." I rolled my eyes. "If I'm an alcoholic you made me that way, just like you made your last husband an alcoholic. Anyone would be an alcoholic being with you. You are psycho, psycho, psycho. A loser psycho."

Well, as happens, his first wife actually is psycho. She's got some kind of psychotic disorder on the bipolar schizophrenic and has been committed many times, and is 100% disabled, and pretty much has given up on controllingit and is one of those homeless people who wander the streets shouting at god and mumbling to herself in chronic psychosis.

So if being with me drive a man to alcoholism, doesn't it follow that being with him drives a woman crazy?

Before I could ask him that, he ordered me to go sit at my desk where I belonged, and I said, no way, and he shoved me into the refrigerator to make me go sit in the corner like he ordered, and I broke away and snatched up the phone and called 911...

And suddenly he was all reasonable and pleading, Please don't do this, Bucyn, please, please don't do this.

I did it. i put up with way too much, but I will not be pushed around.

The rest is history.