AH in hospital with liver failure
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Australia
Posts: 108
AH in hospital with liver failure
On Sunday, he called an ambulance, and then he called me at work. I got home within five minutes cos my boss drove me. He was in cardiac arrest, and they took him to local hospital, and he got taken to the city hospital, and he has liver failure, and all the fluid build up, his guts was bloated out like a nine month pregnant woman with twins, and his feet ankles and legs were blown up. The toxins caused a heart attack, and they are draining him slowly, and its painful as hell for him. A needle and a hose in his abdomen, they drained seven litres over 12 hours, and his guts keeps filling up. I know he cant drink there, I know i say he ***** me, but I am not ready to lose him. I hope this will wake him up, and he gets better.
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Australia
Posts: 108
thanks deb, I dont know whats going to happen, Im seeing him tomorrow night, my friend is driving me there to the city to see him, but when I stayed the whole night and next day with him, he was so awful to me, the nurse told me to go home cos he was being so mean to me.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Australia
Posts: 108
I will keep updating, if Im not on for a while, its cos im not able to sit and get online. I did this weird thing yesterday, I came home and cleaned the house, and I cooked massive amounts of pumpkin soup and my famous vegetarian lasagne, and i didnt eat none, I packed up 30 containers, and froze them. NFI why I did that. I will post back soon as I am able. God bless all, love Lea
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Florida
Posts: 512
sometimes i cook when i'm anxious. my daughter bakes. the other kid cleans. we don't eat the food, but somehow it's theraputic to be in the kitchen and cooking. i'm so sorry that he is in the hospital and you are on the receiving end of his ugly. he is probably full of fear and that generates anger and you happen to be there to receive it. the nurse gave you good advice and hopefully when you do go visit him again, you will put on your thick skin.
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Join Date: May 2006
Location: UK
Posts: 1,149
((())) for you and your family CF. My thoughts are with you.
sounds like a wise woman, she will have seen all of this before, he is in the best place with the people who know what to do caring for him.
Are you getting some respite? someone to talk through your fears and hopes with? I would have said someone to cook you a hot meal but you appeear to have that well covered!
the nurse told me to go home cos he was being so mean to me.
Are you getting some respite? someone to talk through your fears and hopes with? I would have said someone to cook you a hot meal but you appeear to have that well covered!
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
(((Leah)))
Your A is in the care of professionals. You have done all you can. Let them care for him now. You don't owe him anything. He made the choice to keep drinking against doctor's orders. The doctor told him if he continued it would kill him. This is his chosen path.
Remember: You didn't cause this, you could not control this and you will not be able to cure this for him.
Your life is precious. How much more of your one precious life are you willing to give away to alcoholic chaos?
I was a fixer and giver. Always doing for others to the point of my own exhaustion. I am finally learning to accept my limitations and establish my own personal boundaries.
I learned a visual analogy about caring for myself (leaerned it here at SR). This is how:
When you fly on a commercial airplane, part of the pre-takeoff checklist is a safety speech by the flight attendant. The crew demonstrates what to do in case of an actual emergency. In the event of loss of cabin pressure, the air masks will drop down. We are instructed to put on our OWN airmask BEFORE assisting other passengers.
I can't be supportive to another passenger in life, if I have failed to take steps to support my own life.
It is not selfish to detach from an alcoholics drama in order to take care of ourselves.
Your A is in the care of professionals. You have done all you can. Let them care for him now. You don't owe him anything. He made the choice to keep drinking against doctor's orders. The doctor told him if he continued it would kill him. This is his chosen path.
Remember: You didn't cause this, you could not control this and you will not be able to cure this for him.
Your life is precious. How much more of your one precious life are you willing to give away to alcoholic chaos?
I was a fixer and giver. Always doing for others to the point of my own exhaustion. I am finally learning to accept my limitations and establish my own personal boundaries.
I learned a visual analogy about caring for myself (leaerned it here at SR). This is how:
When you fly on a commercial airplane, part of the pre-takeoff checklist is a safety speech by the flight attendant. The crew demonstrates what to do in case of an actual emergency. In the event of loss of cabin pressure, the air masks will drop down. We are instructed to put on our OWN airmask BEFORE assisting other passengers.
I can't be supportive to another passenger in life, if I have failed to take steps to support my own life.
It is not selfish to detach from an alcoholics drama in order to take care of ourselves.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Prayers coming your way for comfort and peace
This is not your fault...don't think that for a minute.
He did not listen to the doctors....that is a fact.
It's sad....it's tragic but it's also a true fact.
This is not your fault...don't think that for a minute.
He did not listen to the doctors....that is a fact.
It's sad....it's tragic but it's also a true fact.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
Posts: 2,870
We are here and we understand. It was important for me to remember those 3 c's:
I didn't cause it
I can't control it and
I can't cure it.
Trust me, we've all tried. We tried hard. We did everything we knew how to do to get our loved ones to quit self destructing and to come back to the ones who loved them. Some of went to meetings, others did all sorts of research. And somehow we landed here... where we could listen to those who had gone before us.
There aren't easy answers, but there is hope, and there is light and life and happiness out there for you, whether your loved one continues to drink/use or not. For me, the changes came in baby steps - little things I did differently for myself, boundaries I set. And my life got better.
I hope you're able to get some good rest and find some peace of your own during this difficult time.
I didn't cause it
I can't control it and
I can't cure it.
Trust me, we've all tried. We tried hard. We did everything we knew how to do to get our loved ones to quit self destructing and to come back to the ones who loved them. Some of went to meetings, others did all sorts of research. And somehow we landed here... where we could listen to those who had gone before us.
There aren't easy answers, but there is hope, and there is light and life and happiness out there for you, whether your loved one continues to drink/use or not. For me, the changes came in baby steps - little things I did differently for myself, boundaries I set. And my life got better.
I hope you're able to get some good rest and find some peace of your own during this difficult time.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Australia
Posts: 108
thanks coffee and no day.
Im trying to get my shyte together, hey I better go to bed, its 1 am here. Thanks everyone, Im doing OK. You know, in my head, I wanted this, for him to die. In my heart, I cant bear to lose him. I am going to bed, but thanks everyone here for being an ear for me. Im OK, thanks for being my mates. Leah
Im trying to get my shyte together, hey I better go to bed, its 1 am here. Thanks everyone, Im doing OK. You know, in my head, I wanted this, for him to die. In my heart, I cant bear to lose him. I am going to bed, but thanks everyone here for being an ear for me. Im OK, thanks for being my mates. Leah
A jug fills drop by drop
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
Hi Leah.... offering hugs and support. Down here it is a very very sunny, wonderful day, I wish you were here to enjoy it. I too tend to clean at odd times of the night, it is great to get rid of stuff and clean things, I try to think I am also cleaning my soul...
Hand him to HP, hand yourself to HP.... those are his consequences... and no, you dont owe him anything, and if he is mean you dont have to be there absorbing his anger and pain.. it is his.
A visualization technique is to imagine him and you tied with all sorts of cords, you can imagine their color, their texture, where the connections are.. (coming out from your mind, heart, gut, wherever you feel them) then imagine a bright golden light dissolves them one by one...and you can cut them one by one as well....
Hand him to HP, hand yourself to HP.... those are his consequences... and no, you dont owe him anything, and if he is mean you dont have to be there absorbing his anger and pain.. it is his.
A visualization technique is to imagine him and you tied with all sorts of cords, you can imagine their color, their texture, where the connections are.. (coming out from your mind, heart, gut, wherever you feel them) then imagine a bright golden light dissolves them one by one...and you can cut them one by one as well....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Australia
Posts: 108
Taking charge, thats a good idea, I try and be spiritual and visualise. He is home, he hasnt drank, and I really believe he is too afraid to. He also needs no salt, and no fat. he is on a heap of meds, but is not allowed any pain killers, even panadol/tylenol. He is pretty well useless. What I dont understand is his life expectany. Here in Aus, well South Aus, the doctors are not even allowed to tell the wife anything. I wanted to ask if his liver can get better or if its too late. Hubby says they never told him, but the nurses there told me "He knows". On his release forms, they have put alcoholic hepatitis on background of liver cirrohsis. I googled, and I see some say that developing alcholic hepatitis while at cirrohsis stage is near the end. Im confused, cos I read that alcholic hepatitis can be reversed if alchol is ceased. Sorry for spelling mistakes. Sadly, my husband suffers Lupus (I have scleroderma), so I know that will complicate things. I am fine, but basically I am his carer not his wife anymore.
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