Plz...help
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
The boundary setting and leaving statements might not be best at this point, better to make a plan and know what you are going to do and not alert him in such a manner that results in him acting out...please discuss this with the experienced DV people...we have alot of collective experience here and resources to share, but professional advise is better tuned to you, your situation, the area and laws where you live and your options.
You can do this! Ask any of us if we wished we had done it sooner....my answer is a resounding yes!
You can do this! Ask any of us if we wished we had done it sooner....my answer is a resounding yes!
I Love Who I Am
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,210
And if I call a hotline what are they going to do? How is that going to help me? I am not trying to be difficult just wondering what kind of help they can offer.....never thought I would be in this situation.
The call I placed to the hotline was the beginning of hope for me. The start of understanding how I got in that situation and paved the way for me to get out. Of course, first I cried and drove around for two days, but they will be able to give you sound, calm advice. And help you shift your thinking a bit so you believe you can get out of this.
Let us know how you're doing...
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
Any threats of suicide or attempts get an automatic call to 911 from me. If it is real, it can save a life, if it is a manipulation then it backfires on them, as they get at least a night in the hospital.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 1,175
Its so scary when the person is acting this way, since they can either be quacking and dramatizing, or a real true threat. EITHER WAY, your daughter should not have to see this, but you know that. I am sorry that this is happening to you.
You need to put these safeguards in place. He IS unpredictable. Even though I know my A is mostly full of crap...I still have true fear of what he is capable of, and am aware that he may harm us. or himself. This is the instability they create to keep us entwined. Please take care of you and your daughter.
As far as he goes...My A will do these dramatic scenes like this, then leave, threaten suicide...Then when I call his family to step in he chastises me for doing that. It CAN feel like it was a trick or a game.
I think he is trying to engage you in his dysfunction. He is desperate. He is grasping, and you cannot know how far he is willing to go....You need to re establish the No Contact. And who knows what his brain is telling him? It is not your job to find out or figure that out. Get safe, and get back to working on being healthy.
My prayers are with you, Mex
You need to put these safeguards in place. He IS unpredictable. Even though I know my A is mostly full of crap...I still have true fear of what he is capable of, and am aware that he may harm us. or himself. This is the instability they create to keep us entwined. Please take care of you and your daughter.
As far as he goes...My A will do these dramatic scenes like this, then leave, threaten suicide...Then when I call his family to step in he chastises me for doing that. It CAN feel like it was a trick or a game.
I think he is trying to engage you in his dysfunction. He is desperate. He is grasping, and you cannot know how far he is willing to go....You need to re establish the No Contact. And who knows what his brain is telling him? It is not your job to find out or figure that out. Get safe, and get back to working on being healthy.
My prayers are with you, Mex
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