Off topic- please remind me everything happens for a reason..
A jug fills drop by drop
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
Off topic- please remind me everything happens for a reason..
Update,
Today I went to see about the apartment I liked and the owner gave me a hard time... asking if I was planning to have parties... and how come I have NO FAMILY in this city... asking me for "commercial contacts" and references...
I insisted I came here for work... I had an uneasy feeling, add that with some pressure from work, flu, hormones messed up and pressure that my mom/sis are coming in a month and want to travel (I will save you this topic for another time).. and.. I started feeling very bad.
Then the docs. the landlord gave me...are not valid because things appear under a different name.... :wtf2 I had not noticed! So I have no backup and am back to zero again.
When the owner said she also charged $20 for "maintenance" (in my current building I paid $2 dollars! yes that is how cheap it is down here..) I kind of realized maybe all that was happening for a reason and I just told the owner to forget it, that she was making matters more complicated than they needed to be and asked her to tear the contract apart.
I weeped in my car and felt really bad. Then I remembered LTD and the Step 3 about "surfing through life" instead of having a set plan and then get frustrated...
So I stopped crying and thought,
I waited for a doc. that didn't even help me and lost the chance to live downstairs, BUT... a neighbor just bought a guardian dog that keeps barking all day and night... more like growling, hardly the way I want to wake up every morning....so I wouldn't have been happy
I wanted this apartment but I may have been worried too much about money and dealing with a rude owner is stress I do not need
When I started feeling self pity I said "what about all the ones that NEVER have had a ceiling above them" so instead I was grateful...
And of course my self hate voice started saying "yup while you cry alone while driving F has spent the year of his life and lives in a great modern apartment.." but I STOPPED myself and said.. I would not exchange any of these logistics issues and hassles.... and another year of moving again and again.. FOR A SINGLE MOMENT OF THE PAIN HE MADE ME GO THROUGH DURING AND AFTER... so I was able to say, yes I am still in the move but WHY? BECAUSE I am not willing to be abused...
So I felt much better, owned my decisions and felt good about them!!I no longer played victim... well only for a while... but now Im OK again.
I saw other 4 apartments nearby... will check them out tomorrow... look cheaper but if they are cheaper I may negotiate paying in advance and don't need a 3rd party...
I just ask for a SILENT APARTMENT.. I don't ask for anything else... PLEASE GOD... take me where I can rest.... it is so great when you believe life is helping you out, not going against you...
Good vibes welcome.....
for letting me vent!
PS Now I am preparing a lovely meal to take my medicines then spend another 3 hours working... if someone saw me, lol crying without control then an hour later cooking and smiling...
I asked my bf to come by for a while tonight... yesterday I spent all day working and he was playing... I was here coughing, no makeup, feeling down and he just hugged me and smiled to me every once in a while... it seemed so effortless... no drama, no acting like someone else, no specific clothes to look better.... just a small room with the cat and bags and shoes everywhere... and its OK... whew what a relief.
Today I went to see about the apartment I liked and the owner gave me a hard time... asking if I was planning to have parties... and how come I have NO FAMILY in this city... asking me for "commercial contacts" and references...
I insisted I came here for work... I had an uneasy feeling, add that with some pressure from work, flu, hormones messed up and pressure that my mom/sis are coming in a month and want to travel (I will save you this topic for another time).. and.. I started feeling very bad.
Then the docs. the landlord gave me...are not valid because things appear under a different name.... :wtf2 I had not noticed! So I have no backup and am back to zero again.
When the owner said she also charged $20 for "maintenance" (in my current building I paid $2 dollars! yes that is how cheap it is down here..) I kind of realized maybe all that was happening for a reason and I just told the owner to forget it, that she was making matters more complicated than they needed to be and asked her to tear the contract apart.
I weeped in my car and felt really bad. Then I remembered LTD and the Step 3 about "surfing through life" instead of having a set plan and then get frustrated...
So I stopped crying and thought,
I waited for a doc. that didn't even help me and lost the chance to live downstairs, BUT... a neighbor just bought a guardian dog that keeps barking all day and night... more like growling, hardly the way I want to wake up every morning....so I wouldn't have been happy
I wanted this apartment but I may have been worried too much about money and dealing with a rude owner is stress I do not need
When I started feeling self pity I said "what about all the ones that NEVER have had a ceiling above them" so instead I was grateful...
And of course my self hate voice started saying "yup while you cry alone while driving F has spent the year of his life and lives in a great modern apartment.." but I STOPPED myself and said.. I would not exchange any of these logistics issues and hassles.... and another year of moving again and again.. FOR A SINGLE MOMENT OF THE PAIN HE MADE ME GO THROUGH DURING AND AFTER... so I was able to say, yes I am still in the move but WHY? BECAUSE I am not willing to be abused...
So I felt much better, owned my decisions and felt good about them!!I no longer played victim... well only for a while... but now Im OK again.
I saw other 4 apartments nearby... will check them out tomorrow... look cheaper but if they are cheaper I may negotiate paying in advance and don't need a 3rd party...
I just ask for a SILENT APARTMENT.. I don't ask for anything else... PLEASE GOD... take me where I can rest.... it is so great when you believe life is helping you out, not going against you...
Good vibes welcome.....
for letting me vent!PS Now I am preparing a lovely meal to take my medicines then spend another 3 hours working... if someone saw me, lol crying without control then an hour later cooking and smiling...
I asked my bf to come by for a while tonight... yesterday I spent all day working and he was playing... I was here coughing, no makeup, feeling down and he just hugged me and smiled to me every once in a while... it seemed so effortless... no drama, no acting like someone else, no specific clothes to look better.... just a small room with the cat and bags and shoes everywhere... and its OK... whew what a relief.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Land of Cotton
Posts: 3,433
Oh absolutely!! I think you were right to give up on that one that was beginning to be so much trouble! The right one is around the corner! You'll see.
Are there "garage apartments" where you live? If I were in your shoes that's what I'd look for.... they have great ones here in my city. Just seems more 'homey' to me.
Your angels are watching over you -- don't forget.
And you are so right to remember those who have never had a decent home -- there are plenty of people out there. God bless them.
You're doing great!
Are there "garage apartments" where you live? If I were in your shoes that's what I'd look for.... they have great ones here in my city. Just seems more 'homey' to me.
Your angels are watching over you -- don't forget.
And you are so right to remember those who have never had a decent home -- there are plenty of people out there. God bless them.
You're doing great!
sending you happiness and good vibes!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
And this is OT.......how? LOL
Fits right in, as far as I can see. Detachment and trust in HP never go out of style.
Try to get some rest, my friend, and tomorrow will be a fresh new day. And the next. And the next. And the next.
And in one of those days (we don't get to choose which), I know you will find what you seek. Learn from everything that happens between now and then...it is all valuable.
Fits right in, as far as I can see. Detachment and trust in HP never go out of style.
Try to get some rest, my friend, and tomorrow will be a fresh new day. And the next. And the next. And the next.
And in one of those days (we don't get to choose which), I know you will find what you seek. Learn from everything that happens between now and then...it is all valuable.
A jug fills drop by drop
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
"Weeped"? I think it should have been "wept" LOL
Oh I was editing my post and saw your thanks and comments... thank you it means a lot!!
What is a garage apartment?
Hope you have a peaceful night....
Oh I was editing my post and saw your thanks and comments... thank you it means a lot!!
What is a garage apartment?
Hope you have a peaceful night....
A jug fills drop by drop
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
LOL GiveLove, you are right it is not off topic, when I typed the subject I thought I was going to rant only!
Sheesh sometimes when I feel down... I read my more "centered" posts and think "if I think that way how come I go back to miserable often??" ahh but then sometimes I really GET IT and those moments of "letting go" (great lesson on that one today) are worth it.
I also liked it when I cried, LOL it was funny how quickly it went away.
Sheesh sometimes when I feel down... I read my more "centered" posts and think "if I think that way how come I go back to miserable often??" ahh but then sometimes I really GET IT and those moments of "letting go" (great lesson on that one today) are worth it.
I also liked it when I cried, LOL it was funny how quickly it went away.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 177
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,888
I know what you mean TC!
I got frustrated this morning that I have not yet found a place of my own to live and I'm still hold up in my friend's basement. Then I remembered two bits of wisdom I've learned.
1. We are all here to do what we are meant to do.
2. All in due time.
I decided that it was entirely plausible that I haven't found a new place to live because there is a reason I need to remain here. It could have nothing to do with me but rather the affect my presence may have on my friend or others I have come in contact with while here. The true nature of HP's plan might not be know until well after I've gone, but it will all be in due time.
For now, I must remind myself that my struggling at the universe and HP's plan is just my codependence telling me I need to remain in control and forge my own path, rather than letting go and letting God and merely following the path that already lies before me.
Thank you for reminding me of these thoughts, they are worth repeating.
Alice
I got frustrated this morning that I have not yet found a place of my own to live and I'm still hold up in my friend's basement. Then I remembered two bits of wisdom I've learned.
1. We are all here to do what we are meant to do.
2. All in due time.
I decided that it was entirely plausible that I haven't found a new place to live because there is a reason I need to remain here. It could have nothing to do with me but rather the affect my presence may have on my friend or others I have come in contact with while here. The true nature of HP's plan might not be know until well after I've gone, but it will all be in due time.
For now, I must remind myself that my struggling at the universe and HP's plan is just my codependence telling me I need to remain in control and forge my own path, rather than letting go and letting God and merely following the path that already lies before me.
Thank you for reminding me of these thoughts, they are worth repeating.
Alice
A jug fills drop by drop
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
Yeah itsMe, we are in a similar situation, kind of "floating" but you are right.... somehow... everything makes sense... and when we finally get our own place it will be great !!! we will be able to value it more....
((hugs everyone))
((hugs everyone))
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Land of Cotton
Posts: 3,433
GARAGE APARTMENT: In our older neighborhoods, those built in the 30's-40's, the houses were often built with a small apartment over the detached garage. They are really popular because they are often very cheap and small, but best of all your landlord is usually just a person who lives in the main house in front! Sometimes you can even barter for the rent by doing chores like lawn mowing, gardening, errands, babysitting, etc. Everyone wins!
A jug fills drop by drop
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
Thanks friends.
In 3 hours I will check another apartment. It is ONE HOUSE away from the AA group and infront of a park... they said as long as I paid one extra month in advance there was no problem and I did not need any other docs. It is cheaper...
Today as I did not have my car (battery died and bf fixed it, more brownie points!!) I walked to work and I am thinking, if I get this place I can wake up early and do yoga among all those trees!! and walk/bike towards my job... with the money I save I can pay for my swimming lessons which are also at walking/biking distance...
A bf's friend used to live there so he will ask him how noisy it is or how the neighbors are like... hopefully he says its passable...
Also,m I studied for half a year in a university that has a campus here... I just learned I can go and use the gym... I am already planning on going on Saturday mornings... there is also a great library. That place has so great memories for me,
I am going to mesotherapy sessions, they promised me wonders in two months lol I am excited because looking good will make wonders for my self esteem and I will finally be free to go to the beach and wear bikinis, etc etc which has always been a great trauma!
Wish me luck... again.. lol
Thanks for the support!!!!
PS This weekend I saw they died hair with a discount in a mall, and now I am a fiery red head!! it is funny how different one can feel with a little change. I've got compliments!
In 3 hours I will check another apartment. It is ONE HOUSE away from the AA group and infront of a park... they said as long as I paid one extra month in advance there was no problem and I did not need any other docs. It is cheaper...
Today as I did not have my car (battery died and bf fixed it, more brownie points!!) I walked to work and I am thinking, if I get this place I can wake up early and do yoga among all those trees!! and walk/bike towards my job... with the money I save I can pay for my swimming lessons which are also at walking/biking distance...
A bf's friend used to live there so he will ask him how noisy it is or how the neighbors are like... hopefully he says its passable...
Also,m I studied for half a year in a university that has a campus here... I just learned I can go and use the gym... I am already planning on going on Saturday mornings... there is also a great library. That place has so great memories for me,
I am going to mesotherapy sessions, they promised me wonders in two months lol I am excited because looking good will make wonders for my self esteem and I will finally be free to go to the beach and wear bikinis, etc etc which has always been a great trauma!
Wish me luck... again.. lol
Thanks for the support!!!!
PS This weekend I saw they died hair with a discount in a mall, and now I am a fiery red head!! it is funny how different one can feel with a little change. I've got compliments!
Is it hot here or am I crazy?
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Planet Zirchon 9 (which is near Milwaukee, WI.)
Posts: 38
Hi TakingCharge999,
Sounds like a lot of stuff is coming together for you and you have a great attitude. You can feel deserving of all the good that comes your way.
I may get some heat for this,,, but a philosophy that I live by is:
Things don't always work out for the best - but I can make the best of how things work out.
I wish you success and happiness.
Sounds like a lot of stuff is coming together for you and you have a great attitude. You can feel deserving of all the good that comes your way.
I may get some heat for this,,, but a philosophy that I live by is:
Things don't always work out for the best - but I can make the best of how things work out.
I wish you success and happiness.
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