JenT1968

the "women have to feel intimacy to want sex and men have to have sex to feel intimacy" theory

I have to wonder what sort of a way is that to design a species who need to have sex to procreate....

on the other hand, I've watched documentaries, with "research" that state men are largely visual creatures who are able to compartmentalise their feelings and lust better than women so that when they have a one-night-stand or an affair it is just about the sex for a man, (not feeling intimacy....)

and not long ago men were able to defend themselves in court by citing research that proved they could not help forcing sex on a woman once they were in a state of arousal.


I am very wary of male/female generalizations about feelings, sex etc.

understand what you are saying L2L but IMO if you have to persuade someone to have sex with you especially with this....

that is about his needs, about him feeling better. And its a short-cut, quick-fix feeling better at someone elses expense.

Alternatively if he wants to foster intimacy between you, he would be open and willing to explore ways which yhou were comfortable with in order for you both to feel close to each other.

Comfort sex is fine if the partner participates freely in the context of a warm loving relationship or an honest sex-with-no-strings encounter. (IMHO)

Learn2Live

To be honest, all this trying to figure out what the hell is going on and why they are acting the way they are acting and whether or not our they are manipulating or using or whatever makes me exhausted.

I say if being in a relationship, ANY kind of relationship, with someone else makes you feel bad, paranoid, scared, anxious, or whatever, get out.