Take the Plunge
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: The Swish Alps, SF CA
Posts: 2,144
Take the Plunge
I registered for this forum a few months ago. I had broken up with my "A" Girlfriend moments before, and I had just moved back "home" (to my "home" area) after moving up to help my Family who were in dire straits.
The move to help them had cost me my Business, House, Life savings, relationship, Sobriety and ultimately in a very real way, my sanity.
My family literally sucked me dry then tossed me aside. I was dating a woman who made it very clear to me that she wouldn't help me in any way, was not welcome to stay at her house, that she "wished me luck" but it was no business of hers.
I ended making the decision and leaving in under 72 hours, I was basically broke, had no job waiting, no place....I had to "couch surf" at friends houses, I am 43, and hadn't had to ask for help in many many years, I had been the one to help others, not need help, it was horrible, it was frightening, it was deflating.
My self esteem was shattered, not to mention my whole "reality", living, working with, and dating extremely sick practicing alcoholics had taken me to depths I hadn't even reached in my own "alcoholic" bottom.
The first Tiff I got in with this woman after I moved, she called me a jobless, homeless bum, even though I was supporting myself by finding odd jobs and spending hours and hours every day sending out resumes, then applying to places every afternoon.
I ended up leaving her shortly after I moved, She was an active alcoholic nearing her bottom with all the behavior that goes with that, the denial, the rages, the lies, manipulations, etc. We've all seen the threads, we know what that looks like. It was awful, it was truly terrible. Strangely enough I didn't leave her for "her drinking" but for all the behaviors that accompanied her drinking, her lying, her manipulations, her abuse, "her drinking" barely registered on my radar, although I left her when she said she'd quit and kept "disappearing", drinking and lying about it, and new "swinger" or "porn" guys would invariably appear on her "friends list a few days later at her "social" website, she would explain how she either worked with them or they were "old friends" and it was just a series of unhappy coincidences that they seemed to have these "swinger" or "porn" links connected to their "page" and she didn't know that they lived 'The Lifestyle" (I had actually never heard that term before for people who "swing") .
That period of time was the darkest time I have ever endured, and I have had a few doozies.
So anyway, four months later:
I plunged into "the program" and am actively working the steps, with all of the "inside" and "outside" miracles that accompany that process.
I am living with 3 pretty great sober kids (late twenties), 2 are newly in a relationship, so it's like having puppies and toddlers in the house all the time thump thump thump giggle giggle shriek giggle thumpthumpthump (them chasing each other through the house) He reads her "bedtime stories" every night, it's very romantic.
I have a house lined up on February 1st to move in all to myself, it's being renovated right now.
I am gainfully employed, at 43 years of age, I am climbing "Big Wood" (Large and Dangerous trees) again, I haven't "climbed" regularly for something like 8 years, I had gained weight (running the family restaurant) and felt like a giant blob. The exercise alone has transformed me, it's like sprinting all day on a jungle Gym with 50lbs strapped to your body....getting in shape? Oh yeah! I feel like I could pick up my car now and I had forgotten how good I was, and how fun it can be. Super scary, but exciting and quite frankly, sexy) and we are looking at and working for opening up a branch of his business here that I will run, along with a crew, he's been trying out different climbers for me.
I have reconnected with all my old friends, we socialize frequently, I go out with different ones a few times a week.
Oh...and....I met someone.....actually we started talking a few months ago but it has kind of started "picking up steam" (pun intended) and I am hopping on a plane to vacation with her tomorrow for five days. To say she is amazing would be an idiotic understatement and would be a dis-service to her. She is wonderful....it's crazy....I don't even know how to be with someone who is nice to me, it's terrifying!!!! Like, what do you mean you "hear" me? what do you mean "you own your part"? what? telling me the truth, what an odd concept!
I could really get used to this whole "healthy life" thing again. I had forgotten how wonderful it can be. And it's actually even better then I remember, this last few years makes it all the sweeter, I hope I never grow complacent again, although I know I will, I hope I can remember what it was like, and remember to have gratitude for the little things in life on a daily basis.
four months!
That's not bad for an old (formerly) fat guy!
So if you are "sitting on the fence" and "feel trapped" if you "take the plunge" "clean house" and "trust in God" wonderful things are waiting out there, if it can happen for me, it can happen for anyone.
If you look closely you can see me up in the tree, those are both 20k and 50k "high voltage" wires running through the tree, I think i squeaked a few times...umm...a very deep squeak...umm...yeah...a "manly" squeak.
I'm nearly 44
I'm getting on a plane in ten hours....it's been years since I got on a plane!
A house?
A nice girl?
a vacation?
egads! what did I wait so long for??!!?!?!?!?!
The move to help them had cost me my Business, House, Life savings, relationship, Sobriety and ultimately in a very real way, my sanity.
My family literally sucked me dry then tossed me aside. I was dating a woman who made it very clear to me that she wouldn't help me in any way, was not welcome to stay at her house, that she "wished me luck" but it was no business of hers.
I ended making the decision and leaving in under 72 hours, I was basically broke, had no job waiting, no place....I had to "couch surf" at friends houses, I am 43, and hadn't had to ask for help in many many years, I had been the one to help others, not need help, it was horrible, it was frightening, it was deflating.
My self esteem was shattered, not to mention my whole "reality", living, working with, and dating extremely sick practicing alcoholics had taken me to depths I hadn't even reached in my own "alcoholic" bottom.
The first Tiff I got in with this woman after I moved, she called me a jobless, homeless bum, even though I was supporting myself by finding odd jobs and spending hours and hours every day sending out resumes, then applying to places every afternoon.
I ended up leaving her shortly after I moved, She was an active alcoholic nearing her bottom with all the behavior that goes with that, the denial, the rages, the lies, manipulations, etc. We've all seen the threads, we know what that looks like. It was awful, it was truly terrible. Strangely enough I didn't leave her for "her drinking" but for all the behaviors that accompanied her drinking, her lying, her manipulations, her abuse, "her drinking" barely registered on my radar, although I left her when she said she'd quit and kept "disappearing", drinking and lying about it, and new "swinger" or "porn" guys would invariably appear on her "friends list a few days later at her "social" website, she would explain how she either worked with them or they were "old friends" and it was just a series of unhappy coincidences that they seemed to have these "swinger" or "porn" links connected to their "page" and she didn't know that they lived 'The Lifestyle" (I had actually never heard that term before for people who "swing") .
That period of time was the darkest time I have ever endured, and I have had a few doozies.
So anyway, four months later:
I plunged into "the program" and am actively working the steps, with all of the "inside" and "outside" miracles that accompany that process.
I am living with 3 pretty great sober kids (late twenties), 2 are newly in a relationship, so it's like having puppies and toddlers in the house all the time thump thump thump giggle giggle shriek giggle thumpthumpthump (them chasing each other through the house) He reads her "bedtime stories" every night, it's very romantic.
I have a house lined up on February 1st to move in all to myself, it's being renovated right now.
I am gainfully employed, at 43 years of age, I am climbing "Big Wood" (Large and Dangerous trees) again, I haven't "climbed" regularly for something like 8 years, I had gained weight (running the family restaurant) and felt like a giant blob. The exercise alone has transformed me, it's like sprinting all day on a jungle Gym with 50lbs strapped to your body....getting in shape? Oh yeah! I feel like I could pick up my car now and I had forgotten how good I was, and how fun it can be. Super scary, but exciting and quite frankly, sexy) and we are looking at and working for opening up a branch of his business here that I will run, along with a crew, he's been trying out different climbers for me.
I have reconnected with all my old friends, we socialize frequently, I go out with different ones a few times a week.
Oh...and....I met someone.....actually we started talking a few months ago but it has kind of started "picking up steam" (pun intended) and I am hopping on a plane to vacation with her tomorrow for five days. To say she is amazing would be an idiotic understatement and would be a dis-service to her. She is wonderful....it's crazy....I don't even know how to be with someone who is nice to me, it's terrifying!!!! Like, what do you mean you "hear" me? what do you mean "you own your part"? what? telling me the truth, what an odd concept!
I could really get used to this whole "healthy life" thing again. I had forgotten how wonderful it can be. And it's actually even better then I remember, this last few years makes it all the sweeter, I hope I never grow complacent again, although I know I will, I hope I can remember what it was like, and remember to have gratitude for the little things in life on a daily basis.
four months!
That's not bad for an old (formerly) fat guy!
So if you are "sitting on the fence" and "feel trapped" if you "take the plunge" "clean house" and "trust in God" wonderful things are waiting out there, if it can happen for me, it can happen for anyone.
If you look closely you can see me up in the tree, those are both 20k and 50k "high voltage" wires running through the tree, I think i squeaked a few times...umm...a very deep squeak...umm...yeah...a "manly" squeak.
I'm nearly 44
I'm getting on a plane in ten hours....it's been years since I got on a plane!
A house?
A nice girl?
a vacation?
egads! what did I wait so long for??!!?!?!?!?!
Last edited by Ago; 12-10-2008 at 09:40 PM.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: southern indiana
Posts: 2,145
congrats ago! keep putting one foot in front of the other and doing the next right thing. sounds like you are on track, my friend.
and, ummmm, the tree looks good. who is the good looking guy with the chain saw?
and, ummmm, the tree looks good. who is the good looking guy with the chain saw?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
What I want to know is how you guys are levitating that tree trunk. Was the faerie queen there helping with her magick?
Hey.
Hey, I'm talkin' to you, Mr. Buff (now) Dances With Branches.
Have a great flight, and a great trip, and a great vacation, and a great life while you're at it.
Thanks for the story, Andrew. I'll read it again whenever I'm feeling like I don't want to take any more "scary" chances.
:ghug
Hey.
Hey, I'm talkin' to you, Mr. Buff (now) Dances With Branches.
Have a great flight, and a great trip, and a great vacation, and a great life while you're at it.
Thanks for the story, Andrew. I'll read it again whenever I'm feeling like I don't want to take any more "scary" chances.
:ghug
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: The Swish Alps, SF CA
Posts: 2,144
Originally Posted by GiveLove 
What I want to know is how you guys are levitating that tree trunk. Was the faerie queen there helping with her magick?
Hey.
Hey, I'm talkin' to you, Mr. Buff (now) Dances With Branches.
Have a great flight, and a great trip, and a great vacation, and a great life while you're at it.
Thanks for the story, Andrew. I'll read it again whenever I'm feeling like I don't want to take any more "scary" chances.
Hey.
Hey, I'm talkin' to you, Mr. Buff (now) Dances With Branches.
Have a great flight, and a great trip, and a great vacation, and a great life while you're at it.
Thanks for the story, Andrew. I'll read it again whenever I'm feeling like I don't want to take any more "scary" chances.
Magic
Freed from the anguish
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 124
Thank you for sharing. So many times I want to turn around and run back to SAH, but I know I need to really keep my head on straight and keep moving forward. Familiar sometimes "feels like" comfortable when it's really not. And I need to deal with the scary/unknown because it can make me happier than I've ever been.
Thanks for being a testament to that.
Thanks for being a testament to that.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,056
Ahhh, I truly enjoy hearing about excellent examples of recovery. Thanks for sharing your story of success, Ago!
Just for you.....YouTube - Lumber jack song
Just for you.....YouTube - Lumber jack song
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Between the ocean and the mountains
Posts: 653
wow. very cool. totally cool. i can't wait to post my own resurrection after the descent into hell story too! when i have a really good one to tell. (am close to the purgatory exit at the moment). you have inspired me. thank you. as jimmy stewart would tell you right now, have a WONDERFUL LIFE.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: The Swish Alps, SF CA
Posts: 2,144
Ruined
Hey TC, I mean FQ, can I borrow your title?
Cause I'm ruined, this girl is only like three feet tall (parents left her in a dryer as a child) but she kicked my @ss worse then any tree ever did
oops gotta go, she's calling me....I'm a dead man...I was cowering in the bathroom but she noticed I was gone after like twenty minutes.
Send vitamins.....
Cause I'm ruined, this girl is only like three feet tall (parents left her in a dryer as a child) but she kicked my @ss worse then any tree ever did
oops gotta go, she's calling me....I'm a dead man...I was cowering in the bathroom but she noticed I was gone after like twenty minutes.
Send vitamins.....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: The Swish Alps, SF CA
Posts: 2,144
Vacation beyond amazing, will give details later and photos, am at the "business center" at The Hilton Garden Inn, I duck in here going to and from the room
My fuses are blown, I don't even know how to be this happy and have so much fun, I might have to rent a car to just to go sit in rush hour traffic and yell at someone just to "feel normal"
OK, just one photo...
This is me reading to my new "best girl" (We went to have dinner at R's best friends house, this is her friends daughter, simply adorable, her recomendation to R was to pop me in the eye as a sure fire flirting technique, she said no boy could resist that, I thought she was on to something there)
My fuses are blown, I don't even know how to be this happy and have so much fun, I might have to rent a car to just to go sit in rush hour traffic and yell at someone just to "feel normal"
OK, just one photo...
This is me reading to my new "best girl" (We went to have dinner at R's best friends house, this is her friends daughter, simply adorable, her recomendation to R was to pop me in the eye as a sure fire flirting technique, she said no boy could resist that, I thought she was on to something there)
Last edited by DesertEyes; 12-25-2008 at 07:49 PM. Reason: removed personal photo
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