Take the Plunge
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: The Swish Alps, SF CA
Posts: 2,144
I'm Home
to say I have conflicting emotions right now......
It is so beautiful here right now, flying into SFO late last night was incredible, big moon shining on the bay, the city spread out like a glittering jewel, I was looking down at Sausalito, Tiburon, Mill Valley, identifying streets I lived on and grew up as a child...it was so beautiful...
I woke up this morning and Mt Tam and all the surrounding hills are snow capped, simply spectacular, The Bay Area just doesn't get any more beautiful then this.
The Joy of my trip still lingers around the edges of my mind, the fact that it is over and that I am home hasn't quite sunk in yet.
It feels like it was a dream, yet more real then this computer screen in front of me...
I need time to "process" the trip but "Too Good to be True" rattles around my mind like a McDonalds jingle, but without the "power" it once had, now "too good to be true" means it was wonderful beyond imagining, not "unattainable" and that I'm not worthy of Love.
For everyone going through a Divorce, recently out of a Divorce (or a break up) or afraid to leave....It gets better....it gets so much better....
Become Love, become healthy, walk away, work on yourself, become whole, become happy, and the gifts God will put in your life will be beyond description, if it could happen for me, it can happen for anyone, and I know of what I speak of, at age 14 I was already a gun toting, drug dealing, daily drunk, emotionally ******** boy that was already going in and out of institutions (jails mainly) and trying to commit suicide by large waves, climbing the Golden Gate Bridge, Helicopter Cliff Rescues, Large Tree removals, eating Acid and mushrooms and going 155 MPH on my motorcycle while piefaced drunk etc. I spent years trying to kill myself, If I can get sober, grow up, learn how to have healthy relationships with others, anyone can, I came from way further down in the bottom of the barrel then you guys, if I can do this thing, anyone can, I promise, and the gifts that come if you 'trust God and clean house' will make you cry helplessly in the night because you just can't believe a happiness and beauty and a love so pure is possible for "someone like you".
Just FYI I'm not talking about my "romance" here, I'm talking about my whole life and my feelings for myself, my "romance" is just another one of the "Gifts" that God has seen fit to put in my life.
Keep coming back, all things are possible.
to say I have conflicting emotions right now......
It is so beautiful here right now, flying into SFO late last night was incredible, big moon shining on the bay, the city spread out like a glittering jewel, I was looking down at Sausalito, Tiburon, Mill Valley, identifying streets I lived on and grew up as a child...it was so beautiful...
I woke up this morning and Mt Tam and all the surrounding hills are snow capped, simply spectacular, The Bay Area just doesn't get any more beautiful then this.
The Joy of my trip still lingers around the edges of my mind, the fact that it is over and that I am home hasn't quite sunk in yet.
It feels like it was a dream, yet more real then this computer screen in front of me...
I need time to "process" the trip but "Too Good to be True" rattles around my mind like a McDonalds jingle, but without the "power" it once had, now "too good to be true" means it was wonderful beyond imagining, not "unattainable" and that I'm not worthy of Love.
For everyone going through a Divorce, recently out of a Divorce (or a break up) or afraid to leave....It gets better....it gets so much better....
Become Love, become healthy, walk away, work on yourself, become whole, become happy, and the gifts God will put in your life will be beyond description, if it could happen for me, it can happen for anyone, and I know of what I speak of, at age 14 I was already a gun toting, drug dealing, daily drunk, emotionally ******** boy that was already going in and out of institutions (jails mainly) and trying to commit suicide by large waves, climbing the Golden Gate Bridge, Helicopter Cliff Rescues, Large Tree removals, eating Acid and mushrooms and going 155 MPH on my motorcycle while piefaced drunk etc. I spent years trying to kill myself, If I can get sober, grow up, learn how to have healthy relationships with others, anyone can, I came from way further down in the bottom of the barrel then you guys, if I can do this thing, anyone can, I promise, and the gifts that come if you 'trust God and clean house' will make you cry helplessly in the night because you just can't believe a happiness and beauty and a love so pure is possible for "someone like you".
Just FYI I'm not talking about my "romance" here, I'm talking about my whole life and my feelings for myself, my "romance" is just another one of the "Gifts" that God has seen fit to put in my life.
Keep coming back, all things are possible.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: The Swish Alps, SF CA
Posts: 2,144
It's 9:30 AM and it's already been the best Christmas I have ever had.
Ever.
I wanted to bump this thread, for my "first post" for those out there wanting to "take the plunge" but are afraid to.
5 months ago I was homeless and jobless as a result of fleeing the alcoholics in my life, I just picked up and "ran away from home"
Today my Christmas morning made me cry.
Because I was happy.
If I can do it, anyone can....seriously, I was so "trapped" I thought I was "doomed" for the rest of my life.
"Trust God" , hold your nose (like a kid jumping in the water), scrunch up your eyes, jump off the cliff and ask for help half way down, I firmly believe that "God" or "the powers that be" or whatever will catch you, I was talking to my sponsor last night about the spiritual aspect of the program, and how it feels delusional, but the truth is, it works, I don't know why, I don't how, but if I "trust God, clean house, and help others my needs are met every time, every time I take my will back and try to "run the show" it goes poorly, every time I trust god and clean house, it goes well.
I'm not religious.
Merry Christmas, and I just hope even one frightened person who is afraid to make a change because they feel trapped reads this and says, "If that maroon can do this, I can do this too"
Love to all of you this Christmas Day
(edit: OK I admit it, maybe a little of my mood is due to BLASTING music on my new lil IPOD shuffle and dancing around singing at the top of my lungs and not being able to even hear my own voice)
Ever.
I wanted to bump this thread, for my "first post" for those out there wanting to "take the plunge" but are afraid to.
5 months ago I was homeless and jobless as a result of fleeing the alcoholics in my life, I just picked up and "ran away from home"
Today my Christmas morning made me cry.
Because I was happy.
If I can do it, anyone can....seriously, I was so "trapped" I thought I was "doomed" for the rest of my life.
"Trust God" , hold your nose (like a kid jumping in the water), scrunch up your eyes, jump off the cliff and ask for help half way down, I firmly believe that "God" or "the powers that be" or whatever will catch you, I was talking to my sponsor last night about the spiritual aspect of the program, and how it feels delusional, but the truth is, it works, I don't know why, I don't how, but if I "trust God, clean house, and help others my needs are met every time, every time I take my will back and try to "run the show" it goes poorly, every time I trust god and clean house, it goes well.
I'm not religious.
Merry Christmas, and I just hope even one frightened person who is afraid to make a change because they feel trapped reads this and says, "If that maroon can do this, I can do this too"
Love to all of you this Christmas Day
(edit: OK I admit it, maybe a little of my mood is due to BLASTING music on my new lil IPOD shuffle and dancing around singing at the top of my lungs and not being able to even hear my own voice)
Last edited by Ago; 12-25-2008 at 10:01 AM.
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