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Old 08-14-2007, 10:48 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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hi jill

would you believe me if i tell you that i think of your and richards relationship almost everyday????

jill, you have experienced a tremendous loss.....the loss of richard the first time to the alcoholism, and then you lost him the second time to his untimely death.

you have much to mourn, sweety.

when richard passed and i read your posts, your immense anguish inspired me to rethink so many things about my xh.....whom i have loved just as dearly as you love your richard.

you taught me to love my xah from a distance. with richards passing, i also learned that i was determined to say goodbye to him while he was alive and sober. many small miracles have happened since then.....from a distance.

i tried to go out on a date, while my heart was still in mourning......i wound up shaking his hand when he tried to kiss me. i had a delightful lunch, but what happened after was that he called many times wanting a repeat performance.

my heart just wasn't ready.

but if it had been.....who knows??????

i wish i knew what to advise you to do.......i went to lunch and enjoyed. but i would not want to go out again with him....and he was someone who i dated over 27 yrs ago.....very nice man.

much love to you
jeri
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Old 08-14-2007, 10:49 AM
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(((jill)))
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Old 08-14-2007, 10:52 AM
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Old 08-14-2007, 10:53 AM
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I just wanted to chime in and say.... One step at a time is the only way to move forward.

Like your sig line says.... Get busy.
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Old 08-14-2007, 11:07 AM
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thinking of you...((FD))
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Old 08-14-2007, 11:08 AM
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(((Jill)))
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Old 08-14-2007, 07:22 PM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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Well, I mustered up the courage to accept his offer and we met for lunch today. We kept the conversation light and he was easy to talk to. He was a gentleman and he didn't pressure me for anything more. It was, afterall, just lunch and one small step forward.

Your replies gave me the courage to take that first step. I don't know what I'd do without out all. Today I got busy living. It feels good to walk among the living again.
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Old 08-14-2007, 09:40 PM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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Old 08-14-2007, 10:05 PM
  # 29 (permalink)  
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I'm so glad you went. If nothing else, it was fun conversation over a nice bite to eat. If he's both interested in you and understanding about your wants and timelines, then he's worth having as a friend. If he's missing either of those, then he's probably not at this time in your life.
Best.
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Old 08-14-2007, 10:20 PM
  # 30 (permalink)  
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I agree with everyone else ....go to lunch and have a good time...it won't be wonderful but it can be nice. You took such a hard hit with the loss of Richard and I often think of you hun. Its so true loss is loss no matter what form it comes in...but yours was so very final and my heart goes out to you today and always.
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Old 08-15-2007, 02:15 PM
  # 31 (permalink)  
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oh good

i'm glad it went well i'm proud of you putting yourself out there.
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Old 08-15-2007, 02:36 PM
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Old 08-15-2007, 02:40 PM
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You go girl...
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Old 08-15-2007, 03:58 PM
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Fantastic
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Old 08-15-2007, 04:24 PM
  # 35 (permalink)  
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Old 08-15-2007, 04:24 PM
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It took me a year to want to date anyone but I did go for lunch or dinner with friends, and some where guys. I tryed not to compare them to my ex. Why make others suffer for my ex's mistakes. I didn't have to tell any of my lunch dates about my past, I just started fresh and made sure I was ok with what was happening, and if people wanted more...I simply stated what was best for me, and if I really liked them I would say so, and if they really liked me, they would understand...and plus this is an easy way to wead out the jerks that will not be good for you in your life. You do what you think is right for you, and take care.
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Old 08-15-2007, 07:16 PM
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Just wanted to chime in again and say thank you for encouraging me to step out of my comfort zone and for cheering me on as I took my first step. In case I haven't told you all in a while, you all mean the world to me, and I'm fortunate to be surrounded by such wonderful friends.
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Old 08-15-2007, 07:39 PM
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We're all in this together!
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