I need help with a letter....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Posts: 261
Would it be possible for you just for a moment to think about what this means for YOU, instead of what it means for him or what he thinks about it?
Guess I am that misserable hey??
missy xo
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 178
Hi Missy,
I really feel the pain you're having with this. It's so hard isn't it? I hope you think it all through and come up with the answers and courage you need.
You got me thinking about how I would break up with my AH, what I would say to him. You gave me a good idea. I know a letter wouldn't work with my AH but I could have one written and read it to him F2F and then leave. I could leave the letter when I walked away. I improvised some of your letter to suit what I would use. Although for me I wouldn't stay in my house. I don't want it. Knowing my husband, he's going to be very nasty. He hates change. I'll have to be prepared and ready before I do it.
Here's my letter.
Dear AH,
It is with love and compassion that I tell you today we have to separate. I need to physically, mentally, and emotionally detach myself from our unhealthy relationship. I'm worn out and can't go on actively living with this disease, alchoholism. For my own well being, I need to think about myself now and take the opportunity to begin a new life working toward my own health and happiness. In fact I think you might agree. I believe this is as much for your health and benefit as it is for mine.
Although we have shared a special love this progressive disease has torn us apart and taken it's toll on me. In vain I've tried everything I thought I could do and nothing works. I was so wrong. I've learned recovery is between you and your God, your choice and your responsibility. I didn't cause it, I can't control it, and I can't cure it.
There are consequences for the damage done from the choices you've made with alcohol. Although I still love you, I hate this disease. I can no longer consider us being together before a very long period of successful recovery. I realize recovery comes one day at a time and there are no guarantees.
I offer that for practical reasons I would like for you to be the one to make arrangements to leave the house.
I would prefer if we could try to discuss the details of our separation rationally and peacefully. If this is to hard for us maybe it would be less painful for both of us to get a mediator. I also think it would be best if we didn't contact each other after the separation giving both of us time to heal.
I understand that recovery is hard, that there is no cure for alcoholism and I will pray you find serenity through seeking help and support with counseling and AA.
Love,
Me
I really feel the pain you're having with this. It's so hard isn't it? I hope you think it all through and come up with the answers and courage you need.
You got me thinking about how I would break up with my AH, what I would say to him. You gave me a good idea. I know a letter wouldn't work with my AH but I could have one written and read it to him F2F and then leave. I could leave the letter when I walked away. I improvised some of your letter to suit what I would use. Although for me I wouldn't stay in my house. I don't want it. Knowing my husband, he's going to be very nasty. He hates change. I'll have to be prepared and ready before I do it.
Here's my letter.
Dear AH,
It is with love and compassion that I tell you today we have to separate. I need to physically, mentally, and emotionally detach myself from our unhealthy relationship. I'm worn out and can't go on actively living with this disease, alchoholism. For my own well being, I need to think about myself now and take the opportunity to begin a new life working toward my own health and happiness. In fact I think you might agree. I believe this is as much for your health and benefit as it is for mine.
Although we have shared a special love this progressive disease has torn us apart and taken it's toll on me. In vain I've tried everything I thought I could do and nothing works. I was so wrong. I've learned recovery is between you and your God, your choice and your responsibility. I didn't cause it, I can't control it, and I can't cure it.
There are consequences for the damage done from the choices you've made with alcohol. Although I still love you, I hate this disease. I can no longer consider us being together before a very long period of successful recovery. I realize recovery comes one day at a time and there are no guarantees.
I offer that for practical reasons I would like for you to be the one to make arrangements to leave the house.
I would prefer if we could try to discuss the details of our separation rationally and peacefully. If this is to hard for us maybe it would be less painful for both of us to get a mediator. I also think it would be best if we didn't contact each other after the separation giving both of us time to heal.
I understand that recovery is hard, that there is no cure for alcoholism and I will pray you find serenity through seeking help and support with counseling and AA.
Love,
Me
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