Famous quotes made by your loved one Part 2
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: where the streets have no name
Posts: 1,078
Originally Posted by prodigal 
AH was ordered by his commanding officer to go to a once-weekly group counseling session for Army folks who were showing signs of having drinking problems. I got the story from his counselor/group leader who called me after AH's first session.
Apparently AH swaggered into the meeting, looked around, and appeared somewhat taken aback by the group. He approached the counselor after the session, and told her, "I don't belong in here with THESE people. I'm a Lieutenant Colonel; I have a graduate degree in engineering from Johns Hopkins." The counselor looked him over, sizing him up, and replied, "Honey, I don't give a damn if you're the President of the United States, you're still an alcoholic. By the way, the prez is also an alcoholic and he happens to be your commander-in-chief."
Number two in my all-time favorites was what he reported to me after getting out of his first detox; five days in Johns Hopkins Medical Center on the advice of his counselor: "Man, I'm glad I'm not as bad as a lot of the people in that place. I mean, there were heroin addicts and crack heads and meth freaks!" Gee, I didn't realize there was a hierarchy in the world of addictions. I never realized that an alcoholic was a "better" addict, and higher on the totem pole, than a heroin addict. Silly me, I thought an addict is an addict, is an addict ....
Apparently AH swaggered into the meeting, looked around, and appeared somewhat taken aback by the group. He approached the counselor after the session, and told her, "I don't belong in here with THESE people. I'm a Lieutenant Colonel; I have a graduate degree in engineering from Johns Hopkins." The counselor looked him over, sizing him up, and replied, "Honey, I don't give a damn if you're the President of the United States, you're still an alcoholic. By the way, the prez is also an alcoholic and he happens to be your commander-in-chief."
Number two in my all-time favorites was what he reported to me after getting out of his first detox; five days in Johns Hopkins Medical Center on the advice of his counselor: "Man, I'm glad I'm not as bad as a lot of the people in that place. I mean, there were heroin addicts and crack heads and meth freaks!" Gee, I didn't realize there was a hierarchy in the world of addictions. I never realized that an alcoholic was a "better" addict, and higher on the totem pole, than a heroin addict. Silly me, I thought an addict is an addict, is an addict ....
The heroin and meth addicts shudder in the company of an "alcoholic" and thank God they are not alcoholics
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: where the streets have no name
Posts: 1,078
The prez
Originally Posted by ARealLady
"the prez is also an alcoholic "
Long distance ABF said he would attend AA if he could go to the same meeting as "the prez". Should we say DELUSIONAL? ABF lives about 1500 miles away from Washington.
ARL
Long distance ABF said he would attend AA if he could go to the same meeting as "the prez". Should we say DELUSIONAL? ABF lives about 1500 miles away from Washington.
ARL
Bill Clinton is placed against the wall, and just before the order to shoot him is given, he yells, "Earthquake!".
The firing squad falls into a panic and Bill jumps over the wall and escapes in the confusion .
John Kerry is the second one placed against the wall. The squad is reassembled and John ponders what his old pal Bill has done.
Before the order to shoot is given, John yells, "Tornado!". Again the squad falls apart and Kerry slips over the wall thus making his escape.
The last person, George W. Bush, is placed against the wall. He is thinking, "I see the pattern here, just scream out a disaster and hop over the wall."
As the firing squad is reassembled and the rifles raised in his direction, he smirks his famous smirk and yells, "Fire!"
Keepingmyjoy
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: NY
Posts: 328
"AA doesn't work for me. All that higher power crap"--that's because I am GOD and all should worship me!
"I don't need you, I could find somebody else in a heartbeat"
Let's not forget the "same stories" repeated over and over and over and over and over.....uugh. And he really believes that I have NEVER heard them before!
"I don't need you, I could find somebody else in a heartbeat"
Let's not forget the "same stories" repeated over and over and over and over and over.....uugh. And he really believes that I have NEVER heard them before!
Detach, detach, detach.......
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: oh
Posts: 757
"i can manage BOTH my RELATIONSHIP with alcohol and my RELATIONSHIP with you"
all time favorite...
"I've decided to stop drinking GATORADE because...IT MAKES ME DIZZY"
ohh, my gosh, all this time i thought it was the alcohol and here it is the gosh darn gatorade....LMAO...
all time favorite...
"I've decided to stop drinking GATORADE because...IT MAKES ME DIZZY"
ohh, my gosh, all this time i thought it was the alcohol and here it is the gosh darn gatorade....LMAO...
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Jacksonville, FL
Posts: 240
"What do you expect? I was drunk when you married me." And he was, at the CEREMONY!
And most recently, after I told him I wanted a divorce, he said, "You're just going through a mid-life crisis!" He then went on to say, "Working out everyday, botox...What are you 22!?!" Yeah, OK, because only 22 year olds workout and most definitely need botox at that ripe old age. He's just a fool!
And most recently, after I told him I wanted a divorce, he said, "You're just going through a mid-life crisis!" He then went on to say, "Working out everyday, botox...What are you 22!?!" Yeah, OK, because only 22 year olds workout and most definitely need botox at that ripe old age. He's just a fool!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Aurora, CO
Posts: 68
When I told him I was going to Alanon to help try and "ignore" and "better deal with" his problem, he says:
"I've been telling you that all along, to forget about it."
"I don't drink. I just drink beer."
"It's only 3.2" after finishing 12 of them.
"I don't scream and yell at the kids, I don't beat you...." Whatever.
"I've been telling you that all along, to forget about it."
"I don't drink. I just drink beer."
"It's only 3.2" after finishing 12 of them.
"I don't scream and yell at the kids, I don't beat you...." Whatever.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: England
Posts: 741
"Why don't you just finish with me thennnnnn!!!" Hmm, I wonder!
My Abf think's he's above other addicts, not just heroin/crack addicts but other alcoholics too...
"I'm not like the other ones, I've got something about me, I've got a brain...I know what this is doing to me, I'm not in denial"
"I'll never end up on the streets, that will never happen to me, I've got more about me"...Denial?
My Abf think's he's above other addicts, not just heroin/crack addicts but other alcoholics too...
"I'm not like the other ones, I've got something about me, I've got a brain...I know what this is doing to me, I'm not in denial"
"I'll never end up on the streets, that will never happen to me, I've got more about me"...Denial?
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