When do you get used to it?
came-came to-came to believe
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: east coast
Posts: 1,116
Hi Bravery-
I have been wondering how you are.
I am sorry to hear that your mom is drinking. It does not surprise me however because left to our own devices (untreated) that's exactly what we do.
Holy said it best:
keep the focus on you-things around you may stay the same but you'll get better.
I have been wondering how you are.
I am sorry to hear that your mom is drinking. It does not surprise me however because left to our own devices (untreated) that's exactly what we do.
Holy said it best:
I don't have much advice, except to work on yourself
angry potato
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Ireland
Posts: 77
Thought I'd revive this thread because I'm feeling like I did in my original post. We've had the peaks and troughs and a breakthrough whereby she actually went to AA every day for about two weeks. It was amazing. She hasn't been to a meeting now in about 16 days and I feel from speaking with her that she is in the "I'm going to drink again and just deny it all" mode.
I can't believe this thread is two years old yet my feelings and reactions have only improved ever so slightly. Will post more later when I get home.
I love you guys, always there for people when they need just a wise or comforting word.
God Bless.
Bravery.
I can't believe this thread is two years old yet my feelings and reactions have only improved ever so slightly. Will post more later when I get home.
I love you guys, always there for people when they need just a wise or comforting word.
God Bless.
Bravery.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: back from the brink
Posts: 457
Originally Posted by Bravery 
Ok, I know that's what I'm supposed to do. But...what if something happened? How could I live with myself knowing that I could have stopped it?
You didn't cause it, you can't control it, and you can't cure it.
Once you get that notion in your heart, you'll be feeling better. Guaranteed.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,059
hi bravery-
i know that sick feeling in the pitt of my stomach very well. the only thing that worked for me was to get away from my alcoholic. i knew there was absolutely nothing that i could do to stop him and i couldn't stand to watch it anymore. i was getting sick from it.
do you have to live with her? can you move out?
as for the driving, well, you could let her get in her car and then call the police and report her annonymously. that would be the end of that problem.
if you don't do that, i don't see how this situation is going to improve or go away. and the hard reality is that she might hurt some innocent person, as well as herself
sorry you're in such a tough spot. keep posting. many people here have been where you are and come out the other side.
naive
i know that sick feeling in the pitt of my stomach very well. the only thing that worked for me was to get away from my alcoholic. i knew there was absolutely nothing that i could do to stop him and i couldn't stand to watch it anymore. i was getting sick from it.
do you have to live with her? can you move out?
as for the driving, well, you could let her get in her car and then call the police and report her annonymously. that would be the end of that problem.
if you don't do that, i don't see how this situation is going to improve or go away. and the hard reality is that she might hurt some innocent person, as well as herself
sorry you're in such a tough spot. keep posting. many people here have been where you are and come out the other side.
naive
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Missouri
Posts: 673
Bravery, you'll be fine... you are strong and Brave, just as your name here says.
If people say anything to you about her, tell them she's a grown woman and should be quite capable of taking care of herself.
If you choose to, you can help her get a taxi, or whatever. But it's not your responsibility. You are not her Mom, she is not a child. Relax. Take a deep breath. Leave your Mom in the hands of your Higher Power.
And keep coming back here. We ALL know what you're going through... every single moment of it. We've been there.
Love and Hugs!!!
Tigger
If people say anything to you about her, tell them she's a grown woman and should be quite capable of taking care of herself.
If you choose to, you can help her get a taxi, or whatever. But it's not your responsibility. You are not her Mom, she is not a child. Relax. Take a deep breath. Leave your Mom in the hands of your Higher Power.
And keep coming back here. We ALL know what you're going through... every single moment of it. We've been there.
Love and Hugs!!!
Tigger
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
I'm sorry, Bravery.
You don't have to make these choices about your mom. You CAN make different ones that are more protective of yourself.
It's hard to find the courage sometimes, but it is so, so worth it.
Remember: you didn't cause her alcoholism, you can't control it, you won't cure it. YOU CANNOT STOP HER FROM DOING WHAT SHE WANTS TO DO.
She will make her own choices, and so you are faced with deciding:
--Watch these choices from a front-row seat, and suffer, or
--Move away from her choices and live your own life
I hope you'll let go of your mom and let her make her own choices, and turn the focus back to your own happiness. She's going to do what she's going to do --- your happiness does not have to depend on whatever she does. You can put distance between you and let her suffer the consequences of her own actions. Though you may find her decisions wrong and sad, it is her right to make them.
GL
You don't have to make these choices about your mom. You CAN make different ones that are more protective of yourself.
It's hard to find the courage sometimes, but it is so, so worth it.
Remember: you didn't cause her alcoholism, you can't control it, you won't cure it. YOU CANNOT STOP HER FROM DOING WHAT SHE WANTS TO DO.
She will make her own choices, and so you are faced with deciding:
--Watch these choices from a front-row seat, and suffer, or
--Move away from her choices and live your own life
I hope you'll let go of your mom and let her make her own choices, and turn the focus back to your own happiness. She's going to do what she's going to do --- your happiness does not have to depend on whatever she does. You can put distance between you and let her suffer the consequences of her own actions. Though you may find her decisions wrong and sad, it is her right to make them.
GL
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