Bravery

She's got worse since my last post. I have to intervene.

cali

You are so right with that. I hope she is ok-
I know you will be. Thank you for sharing your experience with your mum-
it is helping me so much

cali

(((((Bravery)))))

Rella927

((((hugs))))

Bravery

Your support is helping me greatly right now, in the moment. As she works in the same building I feel embarrassed when she is drunk in front of me and her colleagues. It's awful . Does she not realise that everyone can see that she is acting differently or even smelling the alcohol off her? It's ridiculous. I hope nobody says anything to me about her. I wouldn't know what to say. I will hang around work now until she is finished so I can try and persuade her to get into a taxi and not drive. My stomach feels very sick right now.

Bravery

I'm feeling very fragile and in need of hugs or something that can fix every negative feeling.

cali

Gosh, I am so so sorry that you are going through this. Has she ever been to detox or rehab? I looked back at the history of this thread and I saw your response to Alanon---I don't particularly care for groups-well actually it's ok now
but being with others that understand you is paramount...
perhaps you might give it a try-it might just change your whole life

cali

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Bravery))))))))))) ))))))))))))))))))))0

*big big hug just for you

cali

I am an alcoholic-and I sure couldn't stay sober without going to meetings...
just my 2 cents..

Bravery

She has been to rehab a few times. (She had bad experiences in rehab, a guy came in and tried to rob her bag while she was in her bed and she felt threatened.) She even managed to stay sober for 7 years. But for the last 3 years it's been awful.

I am definitely going to look into Al-Anon. However, I'm typing this in work, in bits inside, just looking for the support to get through the rest of the day.

I love all of you who have responded to this. You don't know how much it means to me.

cali

That is wonderful that you are going to look more into Al-Anon. I have been going back over the responses here and *Rella has shared some great nuggets of wisdom
Hang on-get through the day-and know that you are thought of, and loved!!

>>>>**sending prayers your way**>>>>>

Bravery

Thank you cali. I'm finished work now. I have to hang around for a few hours until she is finished work. I have to leave my desk but please keep sending me your positive thoughts.

cali

Will do friend, will do!

Rella927

Bravery I'am confused? IT is like 8:00 pm there no?

Bravery

Yes, I work in an industry where my hours are often late.


Thank you for your positive thoughts last night. I got into the car, took the keys off her and told her that we would be getting a taxi home. She didn't fight me which is what I expected and was afraid of. We got a taxi back and I finally got a reason she feels the need to drink. Herself and my dad have been seperated for a few years and she had become close friends with another man that she thought could develop further. But he messed her about and she made the decision not to see him again.

That was on Sunday or Monday so at the moment she is coming to terms with the decision she has made. I didn't know any of this until yesterday.

cali

Hi Bravery-
Good morning! I am glad things went as smoothly as could be expected last night.
Take care of yourself today. Perhaps pick up something special just for you.
Have a good day today--you seserve it!!!

Bravery

She was ok yesterday but today I think she's going to drink or is drinking. She had a row with my dad and I feel really ill now.

HKAngel24

I normally post on the Substance Abuse forum as my loved one is an addict- but I enjoy reading the posts here as well as they are also relevant to my struggle.

I read the Al-Anon works blue book and there is a section in there yesterday that struck me- it says that if we had a friend who cancelled plans with us because they had the flu we would not get mad at them for having the flu would we? We would be understanding. The same can be said of alcoholics/addicts- they have a disease and we should stop being surprised when they act out the symptoms. It advocates learning to detach from the behavior, not necessarily the person.

I am horrible at this. Like you I can tell when I speak with him on the phone whether or not he is high and despite knowing that its a constant merry-go-round- I'm still somehow surprised and devestated at the same time. Why couldn't I have seen this coming? Maybe it's my denial.

Bravery

She's back drinking.

She had a huge row with her brother who I had to call to help.

I feel I've made things worse.

*cries*

HolyQow

Those are just excuses to drink, until the next excuse comes along...after the guy, the ex, the brother, and you are done being used as an excuse, it will be ppl at work, the weather, a funeral, a wedding, any holiday....if she is going to drink then she is going to drink.

I don't have much advice, except to work on yourself. That was hard for me to understand when I first came here.....but when I realised I was living moment to moment depending on how much my AH drank, when he drank, what he said when he drank, what he did when he drank, how he treated the kids and I when he drank....well, you get the idea...when I stopped that way of thinking, things really changed for all of us.

Good luck.